How to deal with stress after being fired? How to survive being fired from work: advice from a psychologist. Reasons for dismissal from work Positive attitude if fired from work

Firing from work is no longer a rarity, and more and more people are trying to figure out how to get over leaving their job. The termination of the contract is not always caused by the lack of the necessary professional qualities; for completely different reasons, ambitious and talented people leave their jobs. Psychologists give some tips on how to cope with being fired from your job.

The first wave of emotions

When a person hears the phrase “You’re fired,” the range of emotions can range from resentment to rage. Do not let off steam in front of your boss, crying, or banging your fists on the table. In many cases, it will be more profitable to leave the workplace with dignity. If the dismissal seems unfair, the issue can be resolved in the labor inspectorate or in court.

For reference! By a court decision, you can be reinstated in office and receive compensation for the time of the forced rest. This right is enshrined in Article 392 of the Labor Code.

In most cases, management tends to gently part with employees, so you can safely demand compensation or letters of recommendation. By resolving the conflict in your favor, you can feel more confident and, if you wish, go in search of a new job.

Rebuild in a new way

When the employment contract is terminated, you need to take time to recover. Anyone who was fired experienced a bit of disappointment and dissatisfaction with themselves. Many do not tell their relatives and friends about what happened, which is fundamentally wrong - you need to speak out, release emotions and look at the situation from a different angle.

Advice! Psychologists say that by repeating a story from time to time, a person is better aware of his feelings, and in the end he begins to perceive what is happening less acutely. Gradually, the very fact of dismissal will cease to be significant, which means that there will be nothing to worry about.

Pouring out his soul to the interlocutors, a person begins to understand what caused the dismissal. If this is a lack of professionalism or competence, it makes sense to take refresher courses and read professional literature. Changing your occupation is also a good solution.

And as for the cases when the employer initiated a dismissal order due to a difference in views, then a couple of days will be enough to restore peace of mind.

On the way from old work to new

Upon learning of the upcoming dismissal, many regard this as an extraordinary vacation. But psychologists strongly advise not to postpone the search indefinitely - the absence of the usual load can cause neurosis or depressive disorder.

Being in a job search for a long period, a person imperceptibly falls into depression. A negative attitude makes it difficult to successfully pass interviews, soon, and the desire to work disappears. Internal experiences are transferred to the body, and psychosomatic disorders can appear.

Interesting! It is often possible to notice how a person who has lost his job or retired is aging rapidly, more often than usual, gets sick.

Free time should be used profitably!

If you can't quickly get a job in a new company, you should not chill out and waste your free time in vain. You need to stick to your normal daily routine by filling the schedule with new things:

• learning foreign languages;
• reading fiction;
• hobby;
• playing sports;
• visiting doctors.

Employment

Going to the interview, you should mentally prepare. Whatever the reasons for leaving your previous position, you should not speak negatively about the former employer. It is enough to describe the situation briefly and as dispassionately as possible. It is advisable to focus on your professional qualities and achievements.

Advice! If the work record contains a link to a "bad" article, you can make a duplicate of it at the penultimate place of work without an impartial record.

When communicating with new bosses, it is worth asking carefully about job responsibilities and privileges. It is irrational to agree to the very first proposals - you need to evaluate working conditions, the level of wages and the amount of work. When expectations match reality, you can send them to the HR department for employment.

Retirement

Finding what to do after being laid off is the hardest thing for retirees. Elderly people are practically not invited to work, and it is extremely difficult to find a job again, especially by profession.

In addition, age makes itself felt, and often apathy follows the dismissal from a favorite position, the risk of depression increases. On the other hand, many see a plus in dismissal, after long years of service they finally start to take care of themselves, find new hobbies.

At first, you should devote more time to communicating with former colleagues, not to distance yourself from them. Gradually, you need to understand yourself and understand what all your life you wanted to do besides the profession - it can be creating oil paintings, breeding purebred dogs, traveling around the world and much more.

In no case should you be isolated, make yourself endless weekends, consisting of gatherings on the couch. The more things are planned for the day, the more you can get positive emotions and new impressions.

Getting fired is one of the hardest experiences you can face in your career. As an acting coach, I have personally witnessed the shock, grief and anxiety that accompany this. Getting fired can create a sense of helplessness and self-doubt in the form of a frightening loss of control and the voice of a relentless inner critic - especially if your coworkers keep their jobs.

It depends on your perception how successfully you move to the next stage of your career and life. While being fired temporarily knocks the ground out from under your feet, it won't ruin your career if you can figure out how to control how you feel about what happened.

Working with senior executives who have experienced layoffs, I've watched some pull themselves together, move forward and finally succeed, while others get stuck in a cycle of anger and self-blame. Destructive thinking patterns keep them in a swamp of failures, make them unable to regain ground under their feet and decide on the future. Below, I suggest three ways you can calm your inner critic, increase your stress tolerance, and stay productive after being fired.

Maintain a positive attitude. To bounce back from failure, stop endlessly replaying the same thing in your head. This adds more problems than helps to solve them. The way of thinking influences recovery after being laid off. Let me give you an example of the stories of two 50-year-old men with whom I worked. Let's call them Owen and Bob.

Owen took the news of his dismissal hard, although it was the result of a merger and was not based on the results of his work. He continued to blame himself, wondering: “How could I not see where everything is going? I am not fit for science and I will never have another job in my fifty. " Instead of pondering further plans, Owen spent time torturing himself and scrolling through vacancies, getting more and more frustrated. When Owen came to see me a few months after he was fired, he was barely getting out of bed in the morning. He could not get rid of self-criticism, constantly blamed himself for losing his job, while some colleagues kept it - and as a result, he slipped into depression.

Bob also survived being fired, but acted differently. After the initial shock of the news, he updated his resume and LinkedIn page to show that he was looking for a job and began to systematically build connections with his audience. Despite his worries about temporary unemployment, he constantly reminded himself, "I have marketing skills and now is the right opportunity to take advantage of to explore my career opportunities." Within a few weeks, Bob had identified potential job opportunities. More than thirty of his acquaintances agreed to help find work.

The key difference between Owen and Bob's stories is not that one feels better than the other after being fired. Initially, both were equally upset about losing their jobs. But, unlike Owen, Bob focused on controlling the situation and did not engage in constant self-criticism.

Don't let negative thoughts take over.After being fired, it's perfectly normal to find yourself in the grip of anger and self-deprecation, and these feelings can linger in your head for a long time. While it's important to be aware of the feelings that come with being fired, it's also important to pay attention to what you are saying to yourself and determine if your feelings help or hinder your goals. By asking questions of your inner critic, you can stop the destructive cycle of self-blame that is holding you back from moving forward.

Here are some examples of common negative thoughts paired with questions you can ask yourself to take a sober view of the future.

Think: "I could have done more and prevented dismissal."

Question:"What are the reasons to believe that I could have prevented the dismissal?"

Think:"Firing will lead to loss of skills or some other disadvantage."

Question: "Why am I sure this will lead to a deterioration in my abilities?"

Think: "I was not lucky to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Question: "What could have made my job unclaimed?"

Think: "This is a misfortune from which I can never recover."

Question: "What career opportunities am I free to explore now?"

Shift your focus from disadvantages to advantages. As a rule, when you lose your job, you try to figure out what you did wrong and think about all kinds of miscalculations. By focusing on your weaknesses, you are more likely to forget or minimize your strengths.

To replace a demotivating approach with a more positive one, take a look at your entire career. If you are just starting out, think back to your current educational experience. The purpose of this exercise is to find out what professional and personal setbacks you have already experienced and what problems you have dealt with on the way to your current position. Think about how you suffered from another difficult situation that you eventually overcame.

With this in mind, ask yourself the following questions.

• What strengths did you use to solve your problems?
• What have you learned about yourself as you overcome challenges?
• How can you leverage your strengths in this transitional phase of your career?

In a stress-resistance training developed by psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania for the US Army, participants united and performed heavy combat missions using developed team skills. After you leave, you can use the same approach by looking back at situations in which you have tensed in the past.

With the right mindset and proactive questioning, getting fired is more likely to succeed than fail. The ability to determine your course of life, choose the angle from which you look at the situation, and develop an awareness of your benefits are just a few of the unexpected benefits that await you after you deal with the baggage of anger and frustration. As my former client said when starting a new job: “I would know, if left without work, that I would be so happy a year later”.

Who among the employees, having heard the offer to leave the company, did not ask the question “Why?”. Which of the leaders did not scroll through the answer to this question this way and that? Which of the HRs didn’t have a melancholy heart from the need to participate in such an event?

Even when the employer behaves in a decent manner, the firing is often perceived by the person as a painful and unfair decision, if not a disaster. But there are many things you can get out of the company.

What are the benefits of being fired?

Financial compensation

When can you count on it?

1. You have not committed any wrongdoing - no disciplinary action has been imposed on you in the past year.
2. You have been with the company for over 6 months.
3. You have not received negative assessments of labor efficiency / personnel certification results.

The factors listed above indicate that it will be quite difficult for a law-abiding employer to part with you unilaterally; you will have to negotiate.

Liberty

It often happens that not only the company has accumulated a certain level of dissatisfaction with the employee, but the employee himself is far from satisfied with everything. Now you have complete freedom of action, and it is important to dispose of it with a cool head. Do not rush to the first offer and do not look for a "clone" of the previous employer.

Feedback

But that's not all. Fired workers often neglect a valuable resource that, with appropriate behavior, is not difficult to obtain: honest feedback.

In a situation where you are offended and closed, few people manage to immediately perceive what has been said, without devaluing or denying criticism. However, a little later, when the passions subside, you will be able to look at the feedback received with different eyes.

Often, employees who, after their dismissal, have maintained friendly relations with former colleagues, partners, clients - at the next stages of their careers, use these old contacts to advantage. With their help, they receive interesting offers, orders, projects, as well as simple help and advice.

If you remain calm and friendly during the dismissal process, you will probably be able to negotiate positive recommendations with your former boss. This can play an important role in further employment.

How to behave during dismissal

Be polite and discreet

Even if you are torn apart by anger and feelings of injustice, remember that the calmer you are, the more you will receive. The management will be more open and willing to make concessions if you don't give them any bad moments. So composure is in your best interest.

Many people think that in the end one can heartily express the boiling point to the "offenders". Most often we are talking about a former boss or employees of the HR department. However, this should be avoided. By doing so, you can create yourself a long train of problems and a reputation for being unable to cope with emotions. Believe me, 5 minutes during which you will "blow off steam" is not worth it.

Be ethical

Taking away your customer base / database / unfinished deals is often more expensive for yourself. In addition, if you are caught copying confidential data, you will definitely be left without monetary compensation and positive reviews. This is a serious offense that gives you the right to fire you without any benefits.

Prepare for a conversation with management

You need arguments to get the most out of your employer. Such arguments can be:

• long term of work in the company
• your merits and successfully implemented projects
• positive results of formal assessments of work performance / past certifications
• good team relations

The more of these things you remember, the better. The employer will understand that you know your rights, so it will be difficult to deprive you of the right compensation. And remember the attitude: nothing personal, just business. Don't give in to your emotions.

Agree on dismissal by agreement of the parties

Moving on to the formal side of the issue and monetary payments: most often a law-abiding employer proposes to part by agreement of the parties (clause 1 of the first part of Article 77 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation) with some compensation. The company probably has a "plan B" in case of your disagreement, usually it provides for dismissal for staff reduction (clause 2 of part one of article 81 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation).

For a company, this path is fraught with additional paperwork and unwanted attention from supervisory authorities. In addition, there is a procedure for actions and payments clearly established by the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. It turns out that it is much easier for an employer to negotiate with you and sign an agreement.

For both parties, an agreement is the best way out of the situation: you get money and, for example, positive recommendations, the company is a simplified process, no scandals and time savings.

Explore your rights and calmly voice your expectations of compensation (this is where arguments come in handy). With the correct behavior of the employee and the absence of significant violations behind him, it is almost always possible to come to an agreement with the payment of 3-4 salaries.

Enlist the support of loved ones

According to research by psychologist Michael Argyle, who has studied the factors that influence people's feelings of well-being and happiness, being fired from work is comparable in terms of the stress level to such life disasters as serious illness, divorce and imprisonment.

Therefore, I would like to wish everyone for whom this is relevant to receive moral support. If the help of loved ones and your own resources are not enough, and you feel that you cannot cope with the situation, give in to despair and fall into apathy, contacting a professional psychologist may be a good solution.

Work takes an important place in the life of a modern person. Belonging to a certain profession and social status, as well as having a permanent job, can increase self-esteem and self-confidence. At the same time, work is one of the main sources of stress for a person. He spends at work almost all the time, and his professional skills need constant confirmation and improvement. An equally serious stress is finding a job or losing it.

Almost from the very beginning of labor activity, and even earlier - from the moment of entering a higher or secondary educational institution, work turns into one of the main stress factors for a person. Today, many people are afraid not to find a job in their specialty, but, having found it, they are afraid of losing. Labor relations are built on fierce competition, which creates additional stress in the form of relationships with management and colleagues.

Higher education does not guarantee a quick job search in a specialty. Moreover, many managers choose employees based on personal subjective criteria and the possibility of their compliance with an established team. Many employers have mutually exclusive requirements for potential candidates, for example, “work experience of 5 years or more” and “age not older than 25 years”. In Russia and the CIS countries, workers are at risk after 35-40, and even top managers of large companies and strong sales specialists are not insured against unemployment and stress.

Job loss occurs for various reasons - an economic crisis, downsizing or personal conflict with management. Even in large cities, job loss is a source of stress, not to mention small towns and small towns. Long and ineffectual job searches are a common cause of negative emotions, neuroses and depression.

Highlights at work include wages, relationships with management and colleagues, overwork, too little or too much work. A rare employee just sits time in the office "from call to call." Most are forced to leave the workplace much later than 18.00 or 19.00. The schedule also has a negative effect on the psyche, in which the employee can be called even late in the evening or at night.

No less serious - the excess or lack of responsibilities. Some executives tend to overburden employees at no additional cost. Conversely, the lack of tasks also puts significant pressure on the employee's psyche - after all, the manager can ask at any time what has been done.

Even the most advanced and competent specialist may doubt his competence and not know whether his specialty will be in demand on the labor market and whether the current management will need it. Job loss is not always a voluntary initiative of the employee. Many fall prey to intrigue or mobbing from colleagues or management, and some are downsized.

For many, inviting a boss to talk and then announcing his resignation is a serious blow. A feeling of injustice, fear of the future, resentment - these are the negative emotions that a dismissed employee experiences. After all, the loss of a job for many means the loss of a source of funding for the family and a depressing feeling of timelessness and uncertainty.

Can being fired bring positive emotions?

Even if an employee is subconsciously ready to be fired and it is not a surprise to him, he experiences not the most positive ones. At this moment, the belief in the discovery of new opportunities is not able to console a person - after all, he loses not only a source of livelihood, but also confidence in the future for himself and his family. Men experience job loss more acutely than women. This leads to dangerous consequences in the form of alcoholism or depression.

The dismissed employee needs to make some efforts so as not to "break down" and not go headlong into dependence. You should not immediately rush to look for a new job, since a job seeker under stress will not be attractive to a new employer. If a person “holds the blow” calmly, then he begins to see in his condition not only minuses, but also pluses. One of the positive aspects is more time with family and children and attention to those activities that previously did not have enough time due to work.

The loss of a job is especially difficult for people over 40. Employers perceive them as insufficiently flexible and trained, moreover, the age of the employee can make the younger boss experience an inferiority complex. Nevertheless, many find a way out of the situation, getting a job where they will appreciate their knowledge and experience, or organizing their own business.

On the one hand, one should not delay the search for a new job, on the other hand, it is unlikely that an effective solution would be to start it in a depressed state. You need to give yourself some time to understand your expectations of the new job and to live through all the stages of mourning. Also, during this difficult period, it will be useful to work with a psychologist.