Mikhail Andreevich Suslov: biography, personal life, education, political career. Comrade Suslov was a real communist - smart, sensitive and fair

“Uh-uh... me-uh...” everyone squirmed.

– What – is it called! – Suslov got angry, gesturing around the model.

- Kalininsky Prospekt?

– You are mistaken, comrades. The communist and atheist Mikhail Ivanovich Kalinin cannot be related to your work. What you depicted here is called the “Pentateuch.”

Bewilderment baffled the minds of those present. Communists and atheists tried to understand the meaning of the mysterious prophecy of the high priest.

– What is the Pentateuch? – the examiner questioned.

- Uh-uh... me-uh...

- Me! Be! And in Russian!

– Five volumes of Marx’s Capital? – the chief architect brightened.

“The Pentateuch is the holy book of Zionism,” Suslov opened in an icy tone, and the authors turned blue with horror. – The Pentateuch is the doctrine of Jewish power over the world. The Pentateuch is a symbol of bourgeois nationalism, religiosity, idealism, reactionaryness and obscurantism. The Pentateuch is a sign of the authority of Orthodox rabbis over all the peoples of the earth.

“Thank you for the appearance of Moscow, comrades,” Suslov thanked. Cyclone-B gas was released into the hall, and the ceiling collapsed, pinching the clawed paw of the world behind the scenes.

Shortly before this, the magazine “Yunost” was ordered to replace the six-pointed typographical asterisks in the text with five-pointed ones! for political negligence, the editor-in-chief was given a pill and a stern warning was written down on his record card regarding ideological sabotage.

- I remembered. Comrade. Suslov. – The words of the chief architect repentantly fall out.

- Ew-wow? – the inquisitor whistles through his nostrils.

Sometimes the student betrays the teacher, sometimes the teacher betrays the student, sometimes someone gets ahead of whom.

– This is... one of my assistants... He... I entrusted some details... features, so to speak. And here he is! He offered... exactly five!.. and I... we... We lost our vigilance! Comrade Suslov! Your brilliant vision of the situation!

- Surname? – Suslov asked with satisfaction.

- Dubrovsky!

- Well, well. OK. Let's get yours here. If possible, let him hurry there. And we'll wait here!

Can! It’s possible, Mikhail Andreevich! Hurry up, no doubt!

And the frightened young architect-dentist, hugging his idea, is thrown into a car and, under a siren, rushes through Moscow faster than his last thought.

“Your comrades and colleagues claim that you are the author of the idea for this project,” Suslov addresses him kindly. And the line of comrades nods in unison: “He-he.”

Frightened by this self-delivery to the Politburo, the young man misinterprets the altruism of his colleagues. It dawns on him that justice has prevailed in the world today. And his talent will be rewarded directly here and now. He will be celebrated, encouraged and nominated without any further detours.

– What is your first and patronymic name, Comrade Dubrovsky? - Suslov asks with sympathy and sadism.

– Mine?.. David Izrailevich.

Suslov sighed:

- How is it with Pushkin? “Calm down, Masha, I’m David Izrailevich Dubrovsky.”

Everyone was ready to laugh at the highest joke that got poor Dubrovsky back in the fifth grade.

- So, Dubrovsky David Izrailevich, did you come up with the idea of ​​putting on five books? – a black man in a gray suit purrs ominously.

“Comrades also took part in the work,” the author says nobly.

“Comrades will also get what they deserve.” By the way. What awards and accolades did you receive for this project?

- Nn... Y-d... None.

- ABOUT? Hm. (That is, your idea is our gingerbread. The team, therefore, used your idea and reaped the laurels, but they remembered you when the time came to receive the rod?)

The line of architects stood sculpturally frozen with a blind expression.

– Do you often go to the synagogue?

- Wow... I don’t walk at all.

- From what?

– I’m a Komsomol member!.. former. Atheist.

- Commendable. Why not in the party?

- You-you-you... this is the order for the intelligentsia.

– Didn’t you have to work in the ranks of the working class?

- P-p-p... not yet... but I’m ready... if the Party orders...

- Commendable. Why exactly five books, David Izrailevich?

- Si-sy-sy... it fits so much.

- Did it fit?! So many?! Are you sticking as much as you can? How about less?! And in the face?! How about counting?! And more often – it’s impossible???!!! Pa-che-mu five!!!

- Ah... ah... ah... you can change it!.. if necessary!..

– Why – did you – set – for me – in Moscow – the Pentateuch!!! A???

Under complete brain blockade, the architect blurted out:

– Mikhail Vasilyevich has five teeth in the upper jaw!

Suslov widened his eyes:

-Are you acting like a fool? Should I call a psychiatrist?

- Jaw! In glass! I saw! And automatically! – the architect lamented passionately.

– Periodontal disease! Stomatitis! Age! Mikhail Andreevich! – Posokhin precisely fell in unison with his subordinate, clanking and shaking.

- Are you all crazy?

- Let him get it! Let him get it! Let him show!

- Yes! I will show! I will show!

Suslov was confused. Posokhin pulled out his false jaw. Everyone counted to five twice according to the visual aid. Dubrovsky spread his hands. Posokhin misinterpreted the movement of Suslov’s finger and lowered his jaw into his glass of mineral water. Everyone was on artificial respiration.

Suslov was the first to come to his senses.

– What else are you going to get and show me here? – he asked. – Mikhail Vasilyevich, put your spare part in place.

Dubrovsky tried to convey the epic of creative thought with the waves of his hands.

– Stop pretending to be a windmill, stand still.

Having incapacitated the leadership of the Moscow General Plan and sent him home to take medication, Suslov took over the Moscow City Committee. Under him, the city authorities would never have dreamed of calling themselves the “government of Moscow.” Even science fiction writers did not predict new liberal times. Having heard the phrase “Moscow government” with a living state with a sane government at its head, the vigilant and principled Suslov would not calm down until the city leadership was distributed equally between the gold miners of Kolyma and the loggers of Komi.

– Comrade Egorychev, in what places of Arbat is it planned to build a new avenue?

We went to the report fully prepared.

– Malaya Molchanovka, Bolshaya Molchanovka, Dog Playground.

- Strange background. Interesting context. This is the maiden name of the government highway. It's a hint?

Realizing the beginning of the execution, Comrade Yegorychev became professionally numb.

– What do you think of these books? – Suslov generously pointed to the model.

– My comrades and I previously approved... collectively. There is a protocol.

– The protocol is good. I think this is not your last protocol. By the way, have you ever heard of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion? Now I will explain something to you.

After Comrade Yegorychev’s explanation, he suffered a heart attack, and after the heart attack he was sent into retirement. And Comrade Grishin became the first secretary of the City Committee.

The chief architect underwent surgery for an exacerbation of a stomach ulcer, and General Plan was in a state of various degrees of disability for a month.

“We approved your project,” Suslov killed everyone. – Beautiful, modern, economical: well done. We put four “books” on Kalininsky. It's enough. Do you agree, comrades?.. And the money already allocated by the budget for the fifth... fifth will go to the CMEA high-rise building: the need for it is long overdue. It should be taken aside, changed, made higher... - Pronouncing Solomon’s decision, he burned with wisdom.

And he went back to the hospital to restore his wasted health.

Dubrovsky was rewarded with a bonus and fired due to reduction.

And where the Arbat opens to the Moscow River, a 31-story book-winged building, the Council for Mutual Economic Assistance of Fraternal Social Services, was erected in record time. countries in which the Moscow mayor's office is now working tirelessly for our benefit.

Cinema finished off the theater. The first beam of the film projector was like the shine of a razor that grabbed the throat of a great and ancient art. Why go into a stuffy hall when you can reliably see the same thing in a stellar performance and grandiose surroundings? Holding hands in the dark and chewing toffees. Cinema took everything from the theater: heroes, intrigue, passions, entertainment and philosophy. Adding my own close-ups, crazy stunts and colorful editing.

Diana Chaynikova

Broken destinies, wounded souls of young people sent to the front after school - we have all heard what war looks like from the inside. But our idea consists only of the memories of those who shed their blood defending the country and civilians. Soon there will be no one to mourn the dead comrades and tell descendants about how it happened. There are only six participants in the Battle of Stalingrad left in Udmurtia. February 2 acting Deputy Chairman of the Government of Udmurtia Anastasia Mutalenko congratulated veteran of the Great Patriotic War artilleryman German Suslov on the anniversary of the victory in the Battle of Stalingrad. And the volunteers gave him a multimedia music center “Retro-Muromets-2”.

I dreamed of becoming an engineer, but ended up at the front

German Ivanovich was about 14 years old when he wanted to become an engineer. He carried this dream through all the years of the war and remained faithful to it, even when General Sidorov, left in accordance with the terms of the concession in Bulgaria, offered to stay on foreign land, the artilleryman replied:

Comrade General, all my life I dreamed of becoming an engineer, my deepest dream. I want to learn. I want to go home

German Ivanovich went to the front when he was 18 years old, and immediately found himself in the thick of the battle at Stalingrad. According to him, it was not the battles themselves that were terrible. They happened every day, and only rage helped to survive those days. Rage and understanding: if you don’t kill, they will kill you. And it was scary to realize the size of the losses.

In one of the battles of Stalingrad during the offensive Operation Uranus, Soviet troops lost 900 tanks and more than a million soldiers. As German Ivanovich, a participant in this battle, recalls, due to the thick fog they did not immediately realize the extent of the losses. The artillery was behind the main part of the army. The gun and shells weighed so much that they required tractors to transport them. The gun, which was serviced by German Ivanovich's crew, weighed 7.5 tons. Therefore, these troops moved slowly.

What we saw two hours after the start of the battle was terrible. Dead bodies lie. There are so many of them that it's scary. This is how my service in the ranks of the Soviet army began

After this, a series of terrible everyday life began, filled with the sounds of explosions, gunshots and screams. Fears for friends and resentment for the defeat of the Soviet army. It was especially difficult to experience the obvious miscalculations of the command. According to German Ivanovich, it was unwise to send our T-34s into battle against the Panthers and Tigers.

“When we threw our tanks, T-34s, into battle against the Tigers and Panthers and Ferdinands, who shot us like kittens. My school friend, Shurka, died in this battle. Burnt out in the tank."

The last day of the battle could be the last day of life

The January frosts were fierce when the Germans began to give up positions and raise white flags one after another. Victory was close, and when the last shot was fired, on February 2, the battery sergeant-major brought a hot lunch to the artillerymen. For the first time in two weeks: our troops were pushed back from the rivers, and the snow was plowed up with caterpillar tracks. This dinner almost became the last in the life of German Ivanovich.

“Our foreman brought us buckwheat porridge. I remembered it for the rest of my life, and with our Soviet stew. I only managed to eat three spoons, as I remember now, and I don’t remember anything anymore - a terrible blow, I lost consciousness.”

German Ivanovich woke up two days later in a field hospital with a broken leg, a wounded chest and a severe concussion, but even in this situation he found advantages for himself:

But the main thing is to be warm, under a flannelette blanket, undressed. Without a padded jacket, without an overcoat. It was such bliss: you can’t imagine. From November 19 to February 2, we did not undress, did not wash, did not bathe. We are wearing cotton pants, padded jackets, then hats with ear flaps, fur mittens, and a woolen balaclava. We slept only in the open air, and the frosts were terrible in winter

German Ivanovich went through the entire war. There are only six eyewitnesses and participants in those terrible events left in Udmurtia, and it is they who understand better than others how terrible and ugly any war is.

I believe that any war is an immoral activity. Even if it is domestic, even if it is protective, but when a person kills a person, it is immoral

After the end of the war, German Ivanovich graduated from the Izhevsk Pedagogical Institute. In 1955 he began working at the newly organized Izhevsk Mechanical Institute. Until 2000, he taught physics and electrical engineering at the mechanical-technological and instrument-making faculties of Izhevsk State Technical University (IMI), and worked his way up from department assistant to head of the electrical engineering department. Thousands of engineers are his students.

Comrade's report Suslova

On November 1, at a meeting of the Party of Communists, Comrade Suslov, a former Cherepovets district commissar, one of the group of communists who had gone from here to the front in early August, made a report on the situation on the Czech-Slovak front.

News of the Cherepovets provincial and district councils of peasants, workers and Red Army deputies. No. 52. November 3, 1918

Report on the state of affairs on the Czechoslovak front, near Kazan

(Ending)

A few hours after arrival, they received the order to attack and moved forward at 4 o’clock in the morning. Here for the first time I was able to see the entire regiment and receive my battalion. The impression is not bad. People look good, they are riding forward cheerfully, but they are dressed poorly, some of their boots have completely fallen apart, others have their overcoats torn, others have something else, in a word, it immediately catches your eye that they have not been out of battle for a long time, and indeed they have been fighting in the field for a whole month. maneuver warfare and have never even been to a bathhouse.

Several regiments went on the offensive. The picture of the offensive produced a strange and incomprehensible impression. No matter how much I had to study the methods of field warfare before, I had never seen several regiments - all marching in one continuous chain, without reserves.

We marched more than a dozen miles forward, came into close contact with the enemy, pushed him back, occupied two villages, Tura and Osinovaya, and there were no more than 10 miles left to Kazan. The mood grew, it seemed that in a few days we would be in Kazan, but our successes turned out to be fleeting.

Soon the enemy's superiority in the conduct of the war took its toll. While we had no maps, the terrain was unfamiliar, there was no good command staff who could carry out an independent task of reconnaissance, protecting the flanks, etc., the officer battalions of the White Guards had everything. Our units acted independently, often without warning neighboring ones about the actions being taken, there was no communication between headquarters, and there was no common leadership. The enemy did not have these shortcomings. As soon as the White Guards showed activity, bypassing our flank with a small detachment of about a hundred people, all the regiments retreated in panic, giving up everything they had passed.

Many had to retreat without any pressure from the enemy, simply because their neighbors were retreating.

All our shortcomings were fully revealed. Especially an attack in a continuous chain, without reserves. The soldiers felt that the forces were on our side, and yet they beat us, thanks to our ineptitude. There is a need to reconsider the method of struggle. Military operations were temporarily suspended. Military revolutionary councils were created from all regiment commanders, brigade commanders, some battalion and all commissars.

At the meetings, we clarified all the mistakes made and developed a plan for conducting operations.

Work began to retrain the soldiers, to prepare to operate in separate columns, not closely connected with each other, but united by the commonality of actions of the headquarters. By this time, the senior command staff had changed; an energetic and efficient man, a former colonel who was well acquainted with the matter and fully sympathized with the communists, devoted to the cause and loving it, became the brigade commanders.

The political composition of the troops also improved significantly. Quite a few Petrograd and other workers joined, and communist cells were formed in all regiments, led by commissars and agitators. The command staff was replenished with non-commissioned officers, in some places former communist officers. The work was carried out in three directions: firstly, to create technically combat-ready shooters who were familiar with the basics of field warfare; secondly, to strengthen and clarify political class consciousness and, thirdly, to regulate and streamline the economic side of the regiments.

The results of the work soon had an impact: soon after the assassination attempt on Comrade Lenin, which weighed heavily on everyone’s soul and lit the fire of merciless revenge on their class enemies, namely, in September, they finally received the order to march on Kazan. We have been waiting for this moment for a long time.

From the very beginning, the offensive took on a systematic, well-thought-out character. Reconnaissance, strike units, reserves - everyone was in place. The leaders had maps taken from the White Guards during the raids. The offensive continued continuously. The Red Army soldiers advanced magnificently. No fire was able to stop the movement. The dead and wounded fell, and the rest walked forward and forward with red banners. Hundreds of prisoners, “dozens of machine guns,” guns and convoys recaptured from the enemy, demoralization in the ranks of the White Guard gangs - everything raised spirits and strengthened hopes. Already in sight of Kazan. We passed through wooded and swampy areas that made operations so difficult. On September 9, the final and decisive battle began. Infantry and artillery competed in bravery. Artillery observers go along with the infantry chains and adjust the fire of the batteries. One Red Army soldier takes five people prisoner. There are many other episodes of struggle where both mass and individual courage were demonstrated. Finally, the enemy was knocked out of the trenches and fled in panic to the outskirts of Kazan, to Porokhovaya and other settlements. The machine gun mass remains in our hands. Along the streets you can see how commanders stop the fleeing, but all in vain: our machine guns are already standing along the streets and scattering deadly lead.

The coming night does not provide an opportunity to develop success. In the morning we prepare for the battle for Kazan. Reconnaissance is sent out than light. We are driving through the streets of the settlement, there is no enemy anywhere, only workers, their wives and children are pouring out of their houses, there is activity everywhere, despite the early hour. They say that Kazan was left without a fight and the workers there have already taken power. We pass the Porokhovaya and Yagodnaya settlements and enter the city. A huge manifestation descends from the mountain to meet us. Thousands of working women of ordinary people, hundreds of people released from prison, joyful faces, everyone is rejoicing, the red banners of freedom proudly flutter in the liberated city. They surround us, take us off our horses, rock us, kiss us. The heart is ready to jump out of joy. The tests are over, rest in a free city lies ahead. Thoughts are rushing in a whirlwind about the great significance of the victory, the Volga will soon be free, our forces have strengthened, distant prospects for the triumph of socialism, the international brotherhood of peoples are being drawn - there is no doubt, the path is clear!

The good news is rushing to the rear. Less than an hour later, all the regiments, the entire command staff, our leaders are rejoicing. The telephones are ringing, the telegraph is delivering the news to the centers of the labor movement, to Moscow, Petrograd. All proletarian Russia welcomes victories. The failures are ending, the period of defeats is behind us, the army has become stronger, and we are entering a period of victories.

After two days of rest in Kazan, another no less joyful news was received: Simbirsk fell under the attack of the Red troops. We cannot lose a minute, on both sides, from Kazan and Simbirsk, we must squeeze the retreating gangs into a ring and deal them a blow from which they would not recover.

Doubts are creeping in whether our army will be so conscious and strong that after two months of fighting, without even having time to rest in Kazan, where it was promised a complete and long rest, it will go forward again. There were no fresh parts.

Our fears were in vain. The Red heroes, having received the order, with full awareness of its necessity, resignedly, boldly and proudly went forward. The matriculation exam was passed brilliantly. We are creating and have already created a strong-willed, highly conscious Red Army. Nothing can break it down. The temptation of millions of riches collected in Kazan and taken in battle did not attract or corrupt our heroes. Not a single robbery, not a single unauthorized step was taken. The clear consciousness that everything belonged to the entire proletariat made it possible for them to easily refrain from seizing untold wealth. The iron discipline of the old army could not do what was easily accomplished by voluntary discipline based on class consciousness.

After the capture of Kazan, the pursuit of the enemy began at a rapid pace. Red troops marched 25-30 versts a day. They took Laishev, Chistopol on Kama and other cities. In two weeks we covered more than three hundred miles. The White Guards showed complete decomposition. Hundreds of prisoners ran over to our side every day. Guns, machine guns, and convoys were thrown along the way. Residents everywhere joyfully greeted the liberators. They tried to help each other. They voluntarily carried bread, fodder, etc., and provided carts to facilitate movement. The Red Army soldiers showed their conscientiousness at every step, looked after their comrades so that no one would dare to offend the peasants and no harm would be done to anyone who allowed himself to loot: a comradely court would mercilessly punish anyone who disgraced the reputation of freedom fighters.

There are still many minor shortcomings in the Red Army, there is not enough command staff, but all this will easily disappear over time. Young Red officers will bring a new spirit to the life of the army, and a close spiritual connection will be established between commanders and soldiers. The commander will be a senior comrade who educates and guides the life of the Red Army soldier. Spiritual cohesion and technical knowledge will make it possible for our army to become invincible in the coming days.

While the imperialist armies are disintegrating, revolutionary ferment begins there, the split between soldiers and officers grows, our young army grows stronger spiritually and quantitatively. This gives us complete confidence that we will be able to hold out and will not let go of the red banner under the pressure of international capital. Revolutions in Germany and Austria. The approach of the reserves of the international proletariat will not be long in coming.

We will strain all our strength, everything for the Red Army, we will declare the country a military camp, we will call all the faithful sons of the proletariat under arms and we will defend Soviet Russia with our breasts. The end of the reign of the international robbers of capital is near!

The working class is waking up.

Long live the world revolution!

Long live the Third Combat International!

D'Artagnan from the GRU
About the author: Elena Mikhailovna Kuznetsova is an extremely stupid journalist.

During the Cold War, every citizen of the Soviet Union abroad was a unique person, a representative of the people that Europe was wary of and looked at warily. How could it be otherwise if the USSR was viewed by foreigners as a kind of “evil empire,” as one of the American presidents, Ronald Reagan, would later openly call the Soviet Union. Naturally, under the guise of official, often commercial, positions, other representatives followed everywhere - employees of the Main Intelligence Directorate (GRU) of the USSR Armed Forces.

GUEST VISIT

Once, the Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Ukrainian SSR was invited to Paris for the next UNESCO meeting at the organization’s headquarters. The distinguished guest, as expected, was assigned an accompanying person. A GRU officer who worked as the second secretary of the embassy was assigned to the minister. The mission entrusted to him was not very difficult - to look after the delegate, carry out his instructions, be a translator and provide any other assistance during his stay in the capital of capitalist France. In order not to distract experienced intelligence officers from performing really important tasks, they chose an employee who was not particularly distinguished by high moral and professional qualities, but was able to show the necessary helpfulness, and therefore, when it came to the short visit of the Ukrainian minister, the management had no doubts about who assign to accompany. The newcomer had, as they said, a bad character, so one not-so-decent comrade should be quite a worthy company for his own kind - so they quietly chuckled in the corridors of the embassy.

Every day, a luxury car, driven by an officer, drove from the USSR Embassy to the hotel. The minister was never alone anywhere. UNESCO sessions, walks around the city or shops - everywhere he was accompanied, picked up, dropped off, brought back to the hotel. The officer was his shadow and personal assistant. According to the program, they were supposed to visit the main attractions, because the Minister of Foreign Affairs, visiting for the next meeting on issues of education, science and culture, could not ignore the world cultural heritage that France possessed.

And she greeted the minister with the slender silhouette of the Eiffel Tower, the priceless collections of Parisian museums, the grandiose Versailles and the marvelous creations of Jules Hardouin-Mansart, created for Louis XIV, the “Sun King”. The luxurious Versailles gardens of Andre Le Nôtre in the Baroque style, with an endless lace of canals, flower beds and cascades of fountains, decorated with graceful figures, were supposed to amaze the Soviet guest with their beauty and wealth, like everyone who entered their territory many centuries ago. During the long walk through Versailles, the minister barely uttered a few words. His gaze sometimes perked up when young French fashionistas in light open dresses and outrageously short shorts passed by, laughing cheerfully. He thoughtfully looked around at the carefully trimmed lawns and lawns, lingered for a long time at the sculptural composition representing the god Apollo in his chariot and with his retinue, and then asked the employee accompanying him where he could order the same “for his dacha.” He also visited the Malmaison estate, which once served as the residence of Napoleon and Josephine, but the only thing that slightly attracted the attention of the bored minister were the obscene details of the love story of the famous spouses.

The minister was not at all interested in the old oaks and chestnut trees of the Meudon forest, which may have witnessed the walks of Moliere, Renoir or Manet. Maybe he would have refused the walk altogether, but his companion had mentioned in time how and what kind of animals the French kings had once hunted here. This fact interested the minister, and from that moment they discussed hunting, which he loved very much, his collection of guns and various game. Of course, being at some distance from officialdom and prying eyes, they could afford to relax and drink a couple of glasses of wine in the nearest tavern or cafe. French wine is light, the strong, seasoned body of a Soviet official accepts it in large quantities, and even if a positive interlocutor is nearby, then a cheerful feast from the quiet suburb of Meudon can be transferred to a Parisian hotel and an interesting conversation can be continued there, as they say, without unnecessary ears. On the way to Paris, they both listened to the tempting dull tapping of barrels of wine bottles, a dozen of which, packed in crisp paper by the caring hand of the owner of the Meudon tavern, awaited their fate in the back seat of the embassy car.

HONOR. DIGNITY. SCREWDRIVER

The pleasant conversation was continued in the minister’s hotel room, glass after glass, differences in age and status dissolved in white wine, then in red, then this bouquet was complemented by cognac from the hotel bar, then a pretty young maid brought in another decanter. Or maybe she was not at all pretty and not young at all, or maybe she was generally scary, like the horseman of the Apocalypse or your mother-in-law...

The discussion grew into an argument, the argument into a heated debate. The issue that pitted the official and the GRU employee against each other was so serious that it aroused the anger of the Ukrainian politician. In a loud voice, as if from a tribune, becoming more and more incensed every minute and breaking into a scream, he incoherently pointed out to the officer short, but very succinct directions, where even the strictest commanders had not sent him since the school. The official no longer realized that he was not in the native walls of his office, and the echoing echo was not coming from the high ceilings of his ministry, and it was not the loving eyes of his loyal subordinates who were looking at him, but the bloodshot eyes of a dangerously drunk and terribly angry military man.

Entering into a rage, the minister took off his expensive shoe and with a sharp movement launched it “from his foot” at his opponent sitting opposite. The glossy boot hit him squarely on the forehead. The officer jumped up and, rolling over the coffee table between the bottles, rushed to the offender. Not at all frightened, on the contrary, inspired by the well-aimed hit, the minister turned to the officer with the wide part of his hip joint, as if shielding himself from a possible attack, and, puffing contentedly, tried with very uncoordinated movements to pull the other one off his leg. Who knows what he was going to do with it, maybe he remembered a story about Khrushchev and was also going to hit the table or decided to use it to beat off an arrogant subordinate, but didn’t have time. A deft lunge and a beautiful, sharp Swiss screwdriver, smooth as butter, pierced deep into the minister’s soft buttock. He froze, awkwardly turned around, like a puppy behind its tail, trying to understand what had happened. Our hero tried to return his property. He grabbed the screwdriver and, stumbling, hung on it with all his weight. He could not get up; his last strength was thrown into a dash for retribution. His victim jerked, and the tool remained in his hands. Another shock in the wound apparently caused even greater damage to the soft tissues, the sight of one’s own blood sobered up, the thought slipped through the brain, clouded by alcohol fumes, that some kind of harm had clearly been done, and, finally, pain appeared. The officer could not resist and in the explanatory note, from which the details of this episode became known, he described the minister’s cry as a “pig squeal.” And the screwdriver is always with him. You never know, a scout must always be armed.

The minister's roar, growing as the pain spreading down his backside overcame the alcohol-anesthetic barrier, echoed further and further across the floor of the fashionable hotel. The administrator came running, panic among the guests, representatives of the embassy urgently arrived. The scandal was quickly hushed up, at least the hotel guests were completely satisfied with compensation in the form of expensive champagne and the legend of a nightmare that raised the Soviet guest in a cold sweat and caused such a terrible cry. Ah, these strange wild, very wild foreigners.

DIPLOMAT WITH DOUGH

The ending of this story was quite predictable at that time. In the morning, the officer, still rumpled and not yet sobered up, was reminded of his past deeds, informed that a review team for this offense had been assembled and he was immediately recalled from his business trip back to Moscow. A special commission was created, witnesses were interviewed, the victim’s testimony was recorded, the investigation report was filed in the archives, and the officer’s case was closed. He himself was urgently, albeit without much fuss, fired from the GRU. As for the “impaled” minister, at that time the high leadership in the USSR Ministry of Foreign Affairs in the person of Andrei Gromyko, who was throwing all his efforts into difficult Soviet-American negotiations on control of the arms race, against the backdrop of the growing aggravation of relations between the two countries, was clearly not in the mood consequences of the official’s personal exercises.

And this story would have been forgotten if it had not had an unexpected continuation. News began to circulate in the corridors of the department that the well-known Parisian d’Artagnan, who was expelled from the GRU and dismissed from the Armed Forces, somehow managed to get a job at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and, moreover, even make a very decent career there. The news came from reliable sources, then representatives of the department sat in both the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and other responsible departments, so no one began to doubt the information. Further more: they said that he had already grown to the position of adviser and the leadership of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs decided to send him to Switzerland as deputy plenipotentiary representative of the Soviet Union.

A solid position next to a highly respected leader, Zoya Vasilievna Mironova, the permanent representative of the USSR at the UN European Office in Geneva, with the rank of Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of the USSR.

Zoya Vasilievna was known as a strong, even tough lady; she had a large staff, mostly professional people, experienced economists, journalists, lawyers, specialists fluent in foreign languages. No one had even a shadow of a doubt: most likely, the Foreign Ministry was simply not aware of what happened. In order to prevent a scandal and a very likely repetition of Parisian history, Major General Mikhail Lyalin recalled the file from the archive, once again familiarized himself with the file of the former employee and urgently ordered the preparation of a report to the CPSU Central Committee. The document contained a description and strong recommendations not to release the troublemaker abroad. Far from the intrigues of the government synclite, Mikhail Amosovich sincerely believed that by doing so he would not only prevent a scandal, preserving the appearance of a Soviet diplomat, but also save Zoya Vasilievna, a man of high principles and integrity, from the unnecessary headaches that the hooliganism of the children of officials often caused her, by the will of high-ranking popes who found themselves abroad.

The document was prepared and signed by the head of the Main Intelligence Directorate and sent to the CPSU Central Committee. This document is reported to the Secretariat of the CPSU Central Committee. The meeting is chaired by the Secretary of the CPSU Central Committee, member of the Politburo of the CPSU Central Committee, Mikhail Andreevich Suslov. The principled and unyielding Suslov was the main ideologist of the party. For many years, under his control were not only the Ministry of Culture, State Television and Radio, all creative unions and public organizations, censorship, the press, he also supervised the political administration of the Soviet Army and Navy.

Perhaps it was precisely because he alone made all the decisions that Suslov reacted sharply negatively to the recommendations of the head of the GRU. He read the report, pursing his narrow lips, and then asked: “And who is this Comrade Ivashutin?”

The responsible employee of the apparatus did not catch the harsh notes in Suslov’s voice. Well, Mikhail Andreevich, this is the head of the Main Intelligence Directorate, an army general, an extremely thorough person, he would not bother the respected members of the secretariat over trifles. Suslov threw the report aside and said dryly: “Tell Ivashutin: don’t let him try.” Witnesses claimed that the Secretary of the CPSU Central Committee used a stronger expression, but, be that as it may, the issue was closed. And d’Artagnan went to Geneva to fulfill new duties as a diplomatic worker. Either he decided to settle down on his own, or he had a high patron who restrained his violent temper, or perhaps he was influenced by the example of comrade Mironova, but since then there have been no more discrediting stories in which he was involved, to the ears of his former colleagues didn't arrive.

Soviet party and statesman, secretary of the Central Committee of the All-Union Communist Party (Bolsheviks) / CPSU (1947-1982). The main ideologist of the CPSU during the reign.

Mikhail Andreevich Suslov was born on November 8 (21), 1902 in the family of Andrei Andreevich Suslov (d. 1930), a peasant in the village of Khvalynsky district, Saratov province (now in).

In 1918-1920, M. A. Suslov worked in the village committee of the poor. In 1920 he joined the Komsomol and actively participated in the life of the Komsomol organization of the Khvalynsky district. In 1924 he graduated from the Prechistensky Workers' Faculty (), in 1928 - from the Moscow Institute of National Economy. G. V. Plekhanov. Later he studied at the Economic Institute of the Red Professorship and taught at Moscow State University and the Industrial Academy.

In 1931-1934, M. A. Suslov worked in the apparatus of the Central Control Commission of the All-Union Communist Party of Bolsheviks and the People's Commissariat of the Workers' and Peasants' Inspectorate (TsKK-RKI), then until 1936 - in the Commission of Soviet Control under the Council of People's Commissars of the USSR.

In 1937-1939, M. A. Suslov served as head of the department and secretary of the Rostov Regional Committee of the All-Union Communist Party of Bolsheviks. In 1939-1944 he was the first secretary of the Ordzhonikidze (Stavropol) regional committee of the CPSU (b). During the Great Patriotic War of 1941-1945, M. A. Suslov was a member of the Military Council of the Northern Group of Forces of the Transcaucasian Front and the head of the Stavropol regional headquarters of partisan detachments, carried out a great deal of work to mobilize the workers of the region to fight against the Nazi occupiers, and then to restore economy of the region destroyed by invaders. From the end of 1944, he was chairman of the Bureau of the Central Committee for the Lithuanian SSR, and provided great assistance to the party organization of the republic in eliminating the consequences of the war and in strengthening the Soviet system in Lithuania. Since March 1946, M. A. Suslov worked in the apparatus of the Central Committee of the party. From 1947 he was Secretary of the Central Committee (he held this position until the end of his life). At the same time, in 1949-1950, he was the editor-in-chief of the newspaper Pravda.

At the XVIII Congress of the CPSU (b) (1939), M. A. Suslov was elected a member of the Central Audit Commission, at the XVIII All-Union Conference of the CPSU (b) (1941), XIX-XX and XXII-XXV congresses of the CPSU, he was elected a member of the Central Committee. From July 1955 he was a member of the Presidium of the Central Committee, and from April 1966 he was a member of the Politburo of the CPSU Central Committee. He was elected as a deputy of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR in the first nine convocations, from 1950 he was a member of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR, and from 1954 he headed the Commission on Foreign Affairs of the Council of the Union.

At the end of the 1940s, he became one of the “young comrades”. Until the beginning of the 1960s, he enjoyed trust; in 1964, he was an active participant in his removal. The years of his reign marked the peak of his career. In politics, M. A. Suslov adhered to moderately conservative positions, tried to maintain stability without resorting to extremes, but persistently suppressed ideological opponents. Despite his enormous influence in the state, M. A. Suslov was distinguished by extreme modesty and led a life close to ascetic.

M. A. Suslov was twice awarded the title of Hero of Socialist Labor (1962, 1972), was awarded four Orders of Lenin, the Order of the Patriotic War, 1st degree.