An essay on the topic “Misunderstanding in the relationship between “fathers” and “children.” Conflict of generations"

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One of the main features of adolescence and early adolescence is the change of significant persons and the restructuring of relationships with adults.

One of the most important needs of adolescence is the need for liberation from the control and guardianship of parents, teachers, elders in general, as well as from the rules and procedures established by them.

The psychology of adolescence is closely related to the problem of “fathers and sons”, continuity and conflict of generations. In a sense, this problem is eternal.

However, the word " generation" is ambiguous. It means:

1. generation, a link in the chain of descent from a common ancestor;
2. an age-homogeneous group, a cohort of peers born at the same time and forming a certain stratum of the population;
3. the conditional period of time during which a given generation lives and is active;
4. contemporaries-people who were formed in certain historical conditions, under the influence of some significant events and united by a common historical fate and experiences.

In general terms, we can say that the higher the pace of historical development, the more socially significant changes are carried out per unit of time, the more noticeable the differences between generations. Therefore, the mechanisms of continuity, the transfer of culture from elders to younger ones are more complex, and the more selective the attitude of the younger ones towards their social and cultural heritage is.

The relationships between generations can never and nowhere be absolutely equal and symmetrical. The elders teach and educate the younger ones, introduce them to the culture inherited from the past and subsequently pass on this heritage to them.

The acceleration of technical and social development makes reliance on the experience of previous generations insufficient. Configurative culture shifts the center of gravity from the past to the present. She focuses not so much on her elders, but on her contemporaries, equal in age and experience. In education, the influence of parents is balanced and outweighed by the influence of peers, etc. This coincides with a change in the structure of the family, turning from a “large family” to a nuclear one, consisting of a married couple and their offspring. Hence the growing importance of youth groups, the emergence of a special youth subculture and all kinds of intergenerational conflicts.

Nowadays, the pace of development has become so fast that past experience is not only insufficient, but often even harmful, preventing bold and progressive approaches to new, unprecedented circumstances.

Previously, an old man could say to a young man: “You must obey me, for I was young, and you were not old, so I know everything better than you.” Today he may hear in response: “But you have never been young in the conditions in which we have to live, so your experience is useless to us.” With this, Mead explains both the youth “counterculture” and student unrest in the United States.

The degree of similarity and continuity of generations is not the same in different areas of life. In the sphere of consumer orientations, leisure, artistic tastes, sexual morality, the discrepancies between parents and children, older and younger in general, as a rule, are much greater than in the main social values. Young people always want to be different from their elders, and the easiest way to do this is with the help of external accessories. One of the functions of youth fashion and slang often shocks conservative fathers. With their help, teenagers and young men mark and distinguish “us” from “strangers”. Let's say in the field of musical hobbies there are already big differences between 15-17 year olds and 20-23 year olds; they are oriented towards different music, and in other areas of culture their tastes may coincide.

Modern teenagers, not without reason, are reproached for the fact that their emotional uninhibition sometimes develops into moral laxity.

The style of raising children, its goals, methods, achievements and failures cannot be understood outside the holistic way of life and culture of the people and society. Not everything here depends on free discretion.

Of the factors of socialization, the most important and influential was and remains the parental family as the primary unit of society, the influence of which the child experiences first of all, when he is most susceptible. Family conditions, including social status, occupation, material level and level of education of parents, largely determine the life path of the child. In addition to the conscious, purposeful education that his parents give him, the child is influenced by the entire intra-family atmosphere, and the effect of this influence accumulates with age, refracting in the structure of the personality.

In addition to the educational level of parents, the fate of adolescents and young men is greatly influenced by the composition of the family and the nature of the relationships between its members. Unfavorable family conditions are characteristic of the vast majority of so-called difficult teenagers.

A significant influence on the personality of adolescents is exerted by the style of their relationship with their parents, which is only partly determined by their social status.

There are several relatively autonomous psychological mechanisms through which parents influence their children:

• reinforcement: by encouraging behavior that adults consider correct and punishing for violation of established rules, parents introduce into the child’s mind a certain system of norms, the observance of which gradually becomes a habit and internal need for the child.
• identification: the child imitates his parents, follows their example, tries to become just like them.
• understanding: knowing the child’s inner world and sensitively responding to his problems, parents thereby form his self-awareness and communicative qualities.

Family socialization is not limited to the direct “paired” interaction of the child with his parents. Thus, the identification effect can be neutralized by counter-role complementarity: for example, in a family where both parents know how to run a house very well, the child may not develop these abilities, since, although he has a good example before his eyes, the family does not need to demonstrate these qualities; on the contrary, in a family where the mother is uneconomical, this role can be taken on by the eldest daughter. The mechanism of psychological counteraction is no less important: a young man whose freedom is severely limited can develop an increased desire for independence, and one who is allowed to do everything can grow up independent.

At the same time, the social tone of family relationships between generations and the prevailing type of control and discipline in the family are very important.

Psychologists present the emotional tone of the relationship between parents and children in the form of a scale on one pole which stands for the most close, warm, friendly relationship, and at the other - distant, cold and hostile. In the first case, the main means of education are attention and encouragement, in the second - severity and punishment. Many studies prove the advantage of the first approach. A child deprived of strong and unequivocal evidence of parental love is less likely to have high self-esteem, warm and friendly relationships with others, and a stable positive self-image. A study of young men and adults suffering from psychophysiological and psychosomatic disorders, neurotic disorders, difficulties in communication, mental activity or learning shows that all these phenomena are much more often observed in those who lacked parental attention and warmth in childhood. Hostility or inattention on the part of parents causes unconscious mutual hostility in children. This hostility can manifest itself both openly, towards the parents themselves, and covertly. Unaccountable, unmotivated cruelty, shown by some teenagers and young men towards strangers who have not done anything wrong to them, often turns out to be precisely the result of childhood experiences. If this powerless aggression is directed inward, it gives low self-esteem, feelings of guilt, anxiety, etc.

The best relationships between high school students and parents usually develop when parents adhere to a democratic parenting style. This style most contributes to the development of independence, activity, initiative and social responsibility.

Extreme types of relationships, no matter whether they go towards authoritarianism or liberal all-tolerance, give bad results. The authoritarian style causes children to become alienated from their parents and feel unimportant and unwanted in the family. Parental demands, if they seem unreasonable, cause either protest and aggression, or habitual apathy and passivity. An inflection towards all-tolerance causes a teenager to feel that his parents do not care about him. In addition, passive, uninterested parents cannot be the subject of imitation and identification, and other influences - school, peers, mass media - often cannot fill this gap, leaving the child without proper guidance and orientation in a complex and changing world. The weakening of the parental principle contributes to the formation of a personality with a weak “I”.

Transitional age- the period of emancipation of the child from his parents. This process is complex and multidimensional. Emancipation can be emotional, showing how significant emotional contact with parents is for a young man compared to attachments to other people, behavioral, manifested in how strictly parents regulate the behavior of their son or daughter, or normative, showing whether the young man is guided by the same norms and the same values ​​as his parents, or some others.

Increased independence limits the functions of parental authority. By the senior grades, behavioral autonomy is already quite high: a high school student independently distributes his time, chooses friends, leisure activities, etc. In families with a more or less authoritarian structure, this autonomy sometimes causes acute conflicts.

In seeking to expand their rights, high school students often make excessive demands on their parents, including material ones.

The degree of identification with parents in youth is less than in childhood. Of course, good parents remain an important standard of behavior for a high school student.

However, the parental example is no longer perceived as absolutely and uncritically as in childhood. A high school student has other authorities besides his parents. The older the child, the more likely it is that he draws ideals not only from his immediate environment, but also from a wider circle of people.

In the psychological and pedagogical literature, the question of the relative influence of parents and peers on adolescents is widely debated. However, there cannot be a clear answer to this. The general pattern is that the worse a teenager’s relationships with adults are, the more often he will communicate with peers, the higher his dependence on peers and the more autonomous this communication will be from adults.

But the influence of parents and peers is not always opposite; more often they are complementary.

« Significance» for boys and girls, their parents and peers are fundamentally different in different areas of activity. The greatest autonomy from parents when focusing on peers is observed in the spheres of leisure, entertainment, free communication, and consumer orientations.

Most of all, high school students would like to see friends and advisers in their parents. For all their desire for independence, boys and girls are in dire need of life experience and the help of their elders. They cannot discuss many exciting problems with their peers at all, as pride gets in the way.

However, relationships between high school students and parents are often burdened with conflicts and their mutual understanding leaves much to be desired.

“I’m already 17 years old, and my mother and I have never had a heart-to-heart talk... I would even tell everything that worries me to any other woman.”

In a study of youth friendship, it was specifically recorded how schoolchildren from grades 7 to 10 assessed the level of understanding on the part of their parents, ease of communication and their own frankness with them. It turned out that in all these indicators, parents are inferior to friends - peers of the respondents and that the degree of psychological closeness with parents sharply decreases from 7th to 9th grade.

The reason for this is rooted primarily in the psychology of adults and parents who do not want to notice changes in the inner world of a teenager and young man.

It is possible to understand a hidden person only if we respect him, accepting him as a kind of autonomous reality. The most common (and completely fair!) complaint of boys and girls about their parents is: “They don’t listen to me!” Haste, inability, unwillingness to listen, to understand what is happening in the complex world of youth, to try to look at the problem through the eyes of a son or daughter, smug confidence in the infallibility of one’s life experience - this is what primarily creates a psychological barrier between parents and growing children.

A group of Moscow tenth graders were asked to rate themselves on various qualities (kindness, sociability, courage, self-control, self-confidence, etc.) using a five-point system, and then predict how their parents, friends and classmates would rate them using the same system (I. S. Kon and V. A. Losenkov). Afterwards, fathers and mothers invited to the school were also asked to rate their children's qualities and predict their self-esteem. Already the first tests showed that children have a much more accurate idea of ​​how their parents will evaluate them than parents have of their youth’s self-esteem. A similar result was obtained by the French psychologist R. Thome. The most thoughtful parents were very interested in the task of imagining the self-esteem of their offspring, that is, how to “get into his shoes,” but found it difficult. And some parents couldn’t even understand the task: “What does it mean to evaluate a son’s qualities the way he evaluates them himself? I know better what he really is.” Even trying conscientiously to take the point of view of their son or daughter, some parents turned out to be unable to renounce their own judgments: what seems to them to be their son’s self-esteem is actually the parent’s assessment of his qualities. This means that the child’s self-awareness, his “I”, is not known to the parents. And this seriously complicates the understanding of children: boys and girls.

In another study, the relationship of high school students with their parents was studied from the point of view of the trust of communication on the part of high school students, the information content of communication, the attention shown by children to the affairs and lives of their parents, and the authority of parents' opinions for high school students. 140 Moscow families were surveyed, and children and parents were surveyed separately. It turned out that high school students, regardless of gender, are more frank with their mother than with their father, more often turn to her for advice and are more sympathetic towards her. Fathers only have an advantage in the “information sphere” when it comes to politics and sporting events.

What is also striking is the pronounced asymmetry of the interests of children and parents: parents pay attention to all aspects of their children’s lives, while children show little interest in the life and work of their parents. This is especially clearly manifested in communication with fathers: children rarely ask them about official affairs, years of childhood and youth, etc.

Relationships between children and parents asymmetrical, unequal. Many parents, accustomed to controlling their children, are painfully aware of the weakening of their power. In addition, certain cultural prohibitions apply. For example, it is not customary for us to discuss sexual problems with representatives of other age groups; this is done only with peers. As a result, the most important area of ​​a teenager’s intimate experiences is “removed” from communication with his parents. In a survey of 402 couples of young Muscovites who applied for marriage, 85% of brides and 80% of grooms said that they had never discussed marriage and family problems with their fathers (35% and 63% with mothers, respectively). Topics that are extremely important for adolescence and early adolescence - “stages of puberty” and “intimate relationships” - occupy last places in conversations with parents.

But if it is impossible to talk about what worries you most, communication inevitably takes on a formal, routine character. Both sides feel the barrier that has arisen between them, suffer from it, but cannot do anything. The more parents “press” on behavior, academic performance and other formal-role (albeit, of course, important) aspects of their children’s lives, the more formal and regulated their relationships become.

Young men are inattentive to their parents due to their age egocentrism. Absorbed in themselves, they see their parents only in certain and sometimes not the most attractive forms, which can only be broken by new information, highlighting the usual image of the “ancestor” from some unexpected side. And parents expect warmth and understanding from their grown children and at the same time are mortally afraid of discovering their human weaknesses, which children have long known.

There is an illusion in the loving souls of parents that their grown-up children need them in the same capacity as they did in early childhood. But this installation is a source of constant conflicts. And here it is especially difficult for fathers. It was no coincidence that the generational conflict was formulated as a clash between father and son. Without touching on the psychological theory of the Oedipus complex, the prevalence of such conflicts can be explained, on the one hand, by social reasons (emancipation from paternal authority, the son’s struggle for the right to choose his own path in life), and on the other, by psychological reasons (rigidity and instrumentality of the male character, which impede mutual understanding and compromises).

Today paternal role has become particularly complex and problematic. In many families, fathers are absent altogether; their influence on children is mostly lower than that of mothers. According to Ufa schoolchildren surveyed by V.D. Popov, over a third of their fathers practically do not do household chores, two-thirds of fathers do not help their children with their studies, and do not discuss books, films, or television shows with them. Answering the question: “Who do you share your secrets with?” - children, starting from the fifth grade, put friends first, then mothers, grandmothers, and fathers last. In some families, the only form of communication between fathers and children is watching TV shows together, after which the family quietly goes to bed. Psychological closeness with fathers is also relatively rare.

Paternal feelings and the paternal role themselves require a certain upbringing and training. In the old patriarchal society, whose norms we still unwittingly focus on, there was no need to learn fatherhood. Be a strong and successful man in society, and everything else - a comfortable home, respect from others, an obedient wife and children - will appear automatically. Fussing with children and breeding “veal tenderness” is not a man’s business. This was the prevailing attitude, and although many men felt uncomfortable in this world and experienced a lack of emotional warmth and intimacy, this was not perceived as a social problem.

Today the situation has changed dramatically. Women's emancipation and other processes deprived men of their privileged position. In order to have peace of mind and authority in the family, a man must have a number of subtle psychological properties that have never been part of the traditional stereotype of masculinity, sensitivity, attentiveness, responsiveness, etc. Their lack has a painful effect on the psyche and health of men. Following the system of values ​​accepted in the society of their peers, teenage boys diligently eradicate these supposedly “feminine” qualities in themselves, and as adults they discover that they are unable to express the experiences that excite them. The armor with which a teenager surrounds himself in self-defense turns into a prison from which an adult man cannot free himself. When it comes to expressing emotions, a “real man” sometimes resembles the proverbial dog: he understands everything, but cannot say it. In terms of the level of spiritual self-disclosure, men are significantly inferior to women, and this is acutely manifested in the family and relationships with children. Therefore, while involving fathers in education, the school must simultaneously provide them with the necessary psychological assistance.

How often can we witness the manifestation of sensitivity, tenderness, attention, and care by loved ones towards each other? Unfortunately, today rarely anyone can boast that harmony and mutual understanding reign in their family.

The problem, in my opinion, is that people nowadays have become more cruel, selfish, and have forgotten how to empathize and be patient even with their relatives. Very often you can witness scenes of clarification of relationships between parents and children, spouses, brothers and sisters. Often they are not even embarrassed by passers-by, complete strangers.

L. Ulitskaya gives an example of exemplary family relationships in her work, showing the relationship between an elderly person and his great-grandchildren, their readiness to always come to the rescue. The author notes that only after accumulating certain life experience can a person truly appreciate the warmth of relationships between close people; this “becomes more and more clear over the years” in our minds.

Of course, I share this position of the writer. Indeed, we learn everything in our lives by comparison. For example, when we find ourselves far from our relatives, we begin to feel more acutely that we lack their warmth and care.

I believe that an example of the same reverent relationships between representatives of different generations can be considered the Rostov family from Leo Tolstoy’s novel “War and Peace.” Nowadays, it is rare to see such sensitivity and warmth that the members of this family feel towards each other.

I was also lucky to be born into a family where everyone was raised in patriarchal traditions, where moral principles and examples of nobility and sensitivity towards loved ones are passed on from generation to generation. For me, the reverent relationship between grandparents and their care for their children and grandchildren are always a role model. And if suddenly trouble happens to one of the relatives, everyone immediately stops what they are doing and rushes to help.

Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky in life. There are quite a lot of lonely people around. Even those who seem to have relatives. I sincerely feel sorry for them, because perhaps this is partly their fault: perhaps they themselves were unable to establish relationships with loved ones...

Good manners

What is good manners? How does she appear in public places these days?

Probably every person has his own idea about this. And the problem of mutual politeness between people is still quite acute. I am convinced that there is a need for a public discussion of it. In fact, in the modern world, forgetting that we are constantly among other people, we only care about our comfort. But the true education of a person manifests itself precisely in crowded conditions.

The famous publicist Z. Paperny, in his essay “Alone with the Crowd,” tries to convey to readers the idea that nowadays good manners “is, first of all, attention to others,” the ability to be tolerant and considerate towards others.

So, recently I came across an article published in one of the central newspapers about an accident that occurred due to the fault of inattentive and impatient passengers of the Moscow metro. I was horrified by how indifferent people could be. The train approached the platform; the crowd, not noticing anything in front of them and pushing each other aside, hurried to enter the carriage. A fragile young girl who stood right in front of the door could not withstand the pressure of people and found herself under the wheels of the train. Fortunately, the girl survived, but remained disabled for the rest of her life. This case once again proves the indifference of people, their selfishness and indifference towards others.

Indeed, the bad manners of people in ordinary public transport is a typical situation for large cities. For example, some guy is sitting and looking, smiling impudently, at an old woman who is standing in front of him with heavy bags and trying to maintain her balance, or at a pregnant woman who is being elbowed from all sides by passengers passing through the cabin.

To summarize, I would like to say that every person should show respect and tolerance to the people who surround us every day. And if each of us is at least a little more attentive towards others, then we will notice how much more pleasant our life will become in general...

Reverence

Why in our country did people always try to please their bosses and, in general, everyone who has a high position in society? Why is veneration of rank so widespread today?

N.V. Gogol, discussing this problem, in his work “Dead Souls” ridicules veneration of rank combined with the desire of those in power to show their “power” to people of lower income and official position: “We have such wise men who, with a landowner who has 200 souls, will speak completely differently than with someone who has 300 of them...” Describing the behavior of officials, the author ironizes: “When he sits among his subordinates, you simply cannot utter a word out of fear!”

In my opinion, N.V. Gogol is certainly right in ridiculing these negative qualities in people. I think that everyone should have a sense of self-esteem, which, on the one hand, is incompatible with self-respect, and on the other, with an arrogant attitude towards others. In my opinion, the problem is that in Russia during the era of serfdom, veneration of rank was much more developed than, say, in the West. However, over time, nothing has changed; on the contrary, it has worsened and become widespread. On the other hand, along with servility, there is arrogance and the desire of superiors to emphasize their superiority over their subordinates.

As an argument in defense of the author’s position, one can cite an example from V.P. Aksenov’s work “Breakfasts of 1943,” where the boy had to give his bun every day, and indeed everything that had at least some value to the older and “ authoritative" classmates. One can only guess how long this could have lasted if one day the hero had not realized that he needed to change the situation. The boy believed in himself and, more importantly, made everyone respect him.

As another argument, I would like to cite the example of the relationship between social strata of the population in European countries. Self-abasement before those in power is not typical for them. For example, in the English language there is not even such an etiquette form of addressing “You” as we have, and perhaps that is why, in particular, as Gogol said in his work “Dead Souls,” “a Frenchman or a German will not understand all the peculiarities of the century.” and the subtleties of our communication." And in America it is even considered normal to criticize the president and his government publicly. In our country, the “echoes” of the cult of personality are transferred to all senior management.

In conclusion, I want to say that every person must first of all respect himself, then there will be no respect for rank, no servility towards superiors, no self-exaltation, then life will be much simpler and easier for everyone!

Spirituality

Spirituality... What is it? What qualities must a person have in order to be rightfully called spiritually developed? It seems to me that not everyone will be able to answer these questions right away.

In fact, the problem is that for some, living a spiritual life means going to galleries, exhibitions, theaters... But for others, it means intelligence and fortitude, striving for the high and faith in goodness, truth and beauty.

In his essay, S. Soloveichik, reflecting on the problem of true spirituality, tries to convey to readers the idea that this concept includes, first of all, “an endless desire for good, an indefatigable thirst for truth, an insatiable hunger for beauty...”. And, of course, one cannot but agree with this.

I believe that a spiritually developed person can be considered one who is truly concerned about beauty, who goes to theaters and galleries not for the sake of idle pastime, but precisely because he is driven by the desire to once again get closer to great, “spiritually uplifting” art.

S. Soloveichik also mentions people whose “spirit is low,” but they want to appear intelligent and educated.

Such situations were often described in classical literature. Thus, in D.I. Fonvizin’s play “The Minor,” both “enlightened” and “unenlightened” nobles are depicted, so to speak. The first include Starodum, Pravdin and, of course, Sophia. All of them are smart, selfless, kind people, capable of love and hope. The second group includes the landowner Prostakova and her brother Skotinin. These are people whose main value is material wealth, but they strive to “show off” and show that they also understand art.

If we move from literary characters to real people, then for me the clearest example of a spiritually developed person is my grandmother. She is an infinitely kind, selfless, intelligent woman. Of course, I am very proud of her and try in every possible way to be at least a little like her.

In conclusion, I would like to cite the well-known words that “spirituality is not like a culture of behavior or education.” After all, many people, without education, have, in the words of S. Soloveichik, “the highest strength of spirit,” and the true spiritual life of a person is his own desire for beauty.

Internet

What is the Internet? Does it help people or, on the contrary, does it only cause harm?

In modern society, this problem is especially acute, because we cannot even imagine life without the World Wide Web. Thousands of people live on the Internet as if in a parallel world, completely forgetting about real life, “live” conversations with friends, relatives and just acquaintances.

The famous publicist D. Pisarenko writes in his essay that millions of people prefer to communicate on the Internet only because there, in a “parallel” world, they can appear as completely different people: without complexes and shortcomings. The author is deeply concerned about this: “Are we really going to see a sad picture: in ten to twenty years the country will be populated entirely by hypocrites living in several virtual worlds?”

Personally, I also know a lot of people who have experienced disappointment caused by lies and inconsistencies in the appearance, manners and interests of a virtual interlocutor.

To summarize, I would like to say that each person must choose for himself what he likes: live communication or a “parallel” world, which for many, unfortunately, is much more important than the one where they study and work , meet with family and friends...

Lonely old age

What does the future hold for us? What happens when we get old? Probably everyone thinks about these questions, regardless of age.

K.G. Paustovsky in his work “Telegram” describes the difficult life of an elderly woman, Katerina Ivanovna. The author raises the problem of lonely old age: “Daughter Nastya has not come for four years now - it means her mother has forgotten, and Katerina Ivanovna has only a few days.”

Recently, the issue of “abandoned”, forgotten parents is being discussed more and more often in society. Unfortunately, now not all older people live in abundance and are surrounded by the care of loved ones.

I think that every person should think about the fact that, without now paying due attention to their elderly, he himself will sooner or later find himself in the same position, because our children copy our own patterns of behavior.

K.G. Paustovsky condemns Nastya and says that he would be happy if he had such a mother.

I am convinced that older people need the care and attention of loved ones. My grandparents do not live with us, but my parents and I try to visit them as often as possible. Although we visit them quite often, my grandparents are very happy with our every visit.

It must be said that many poets and writers have not ignored the problem of lonely old age. So, S.A. Yesenin sadly thinks about his mother, who is afraid to die without seeing her son. His poem “Letter to Mother” is permeated with warm feelings and repentance.

In conclusion, I would like to say that every person should value and respect their elderly parents, because our attention and care are very important to them.

Series

What movies are we watching on television now? Why are they all either about bandits and their lives, or about policemen who are in one way or another connected with the same bandits?

In my opinion, the problem is that modern television series idealize criminals, and thereby cause great harm to society, as they form distorted behavioral stereotypes in the younger generation. So why are so many films about gangster life being made in our country? Probably because in recent years this “beautiful and noble life” has become very popular. People simply don't want to watch television series with a different plot. Of course, because the life of criminals is so interesting and exciting, and it is clearly inferior in terms of adventure and brightness of the life of ordinary people!

In his essay, Leonid Andreev sarcastically ridicules the authors and customers of television films, who, trying to achieve popularity among viewers and attract their interest using the cheapest means, often, without knowing it, create aggressiveness and cruelty among young people.

Yes, indeed, this is so. Children and teenagers try to imitate their movie “idols” in everything, not understanding the seriousness of the situation. But our lives are already filled with cruelty and violence.

Also among young people today, various computer games with a similar plot have become especially popular, where children are invited to “join a gang” of terrorists or hired killers trying to seize power throughout the world. What can such a game teach a child? – That’s right, only cruelty and aggression towards people.

Books containing detective stories are no less popular. Everyone knows such famous writers as D. Dontsova, T. Ustinova, A. Marinina and others. But in fact, their works with a primitive plot are so predictable and uninteresting that sometimes it is simply impossible to read them. And yet, people, mainly young people, prefer just such literature, and, for example, they don’t even want to hear about the classics!

In conclusion, I would like to say that L. Andreev’s essay made a strong impression on me. It turns out that we ourselves make the world so cruel and unfair, and this, in my opinion, needs to be fought. And first, people must decide what kind of society they want to live in: the kind we have now, or in a society where harmony, love and mutual understanding reign!

About books

I wonder if there is a certain list of books, after reading which you can consider yourself an educated, cultured person?

I think that such a list does not exist, if only because everyone has their own social circle, their own interests... besides, humanity has accumulated such a rich literary experience that it is quite difficult to decide on priorities. To consider yourself an educated, well-read person, you need to have a good understanding of both the classics and the whole variety of modern literature.

Thus, the famous domestic publicist L. Lazarev, reflecting on the problem of the need to choose for himself the minimum that would be sufficient for a well-read person, states: “the more a person reads, the clearer it becomes to his mind what a huge number of “necessary” books he does not yet have. I read it."

I certainly agree with the author’s opinion that no one can recommend to a person the minimum necessary thing that he should read, primarily because everyone has different interests, tastes, preferences... and the reading process is so captivating that I want to continue to choose more and more new books every day.

A striking example of a person endowed with a thirst for knowledge is the hero of V. Kaverin’s work “Two Captains”. Since childhood, Sanka Grigoriev read everything that related to his dream - to become a captain, traveler, explorer of unknown lands. The hero simply memorized fragments of books that were incomprehensible to him due to his young age and lack of education, confident that sooner or later he would be able to understand these “complex matters.” Perhaps it was precisely thanks to such perseverance, determination and thirst for knowledge that Sanka was able to make his childhood dream come true.

Another literary hero, also keen on entertaining reading, is Arthur Gray from the novel “Scarlet Sails” by A.S. Green. This young man, having seen a picture of a ship on the wall as a child, could not stop until he re-read in his father’s library everything that had to do with traveling through unknown expanses of the sea. Gray wanted to be a captain and became one. The knowledge that the hero gleaned from books certainly served him well later.

If we move from literary characters to real people, the example of M.V. Lomonosov first comes to mind. Having had a thirst for knowledge since childhood, he was interested in a variety of sciences all his life. His interests included chemistry, literature, rhetoric, ethics, geography, history, and art criticism. Perhaps this is why Mikhail Vasilyevich later became the founder of the first university in Russia, which still bears his name.

So, these examples prove L. Lazarev’s opinion that “passionate curiosity... makes people read book after book.” And since all people have different tastes and inclinations, everyone makes their own individual list of “necessary” books.

Related information.

The problem of “fathers” and “children” has existed at all times. After all, relationships between children and parents do not always work out well. Age differences, different hobbies, differences in tastes - all this leads to conflicts.
Let us remember the great novel by Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev “Fathers and Sons”. The problem of “fathers” and children” is acute in this work. The author focuses on it throughout the novel and shows us various conflict situations between parents and children. Evgeny Bazarov feels

Feeling like a stranger, both in his own family and in the family of his friend Arkady Kirsanov. In my opinion, this is due to the fact that Eugene is a nihilist and has views that differ from the views of other people. The older generation of Kirsanovs carefully communicated with Bazarov, considering him a different person, and Evgeniy’s parents loved him with all his hobbies, but Evgeniy himself did not understand this.
The problem in the novel is acute; to confirm this, let us remember the fact that Bazarov was rude to his parents until the very end and did not accept their positive feelings and strong parental love. Evgeny himself loves his parents, undoubtedly, but for some reason he cannot admit it openly, thereby bringing grief to his parents. There can be no talk of mutual understanding; generational conflict is inevitable.
In Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy’s trilogy “Childhood. Adolescence. Youth” also touches on the problem of “fathers” and “children.” Nikolenka Irteniev strives to understand the world. And his ideas about the beautiful and ideal world are destroyed when the process of cognition begins. Over time, Nikolenka realizes that not everything is as wonderful as he imagined. He encounters misunderstandings from his elders, is often offended by them, and then inadvertently offends them himself. We see this in the chapters “Classes”, “Natalya Savishna”.
The problem of “fathers” and “children” was also touched upon by K. G. Paustovsky in the story “Telegram”. The sad story of a girl and her relationship with her mother makes us, readers, think about how we treat our parents and people close to us. The girl Nastya, the main character of the story, receives a letter saying that her mother is seriously ill. But, in the girl’s opinion, important matters do not allow her to go to the village to visit her mother. When she was finally able to arrive, she found out that her mother was no longer there. So, out of stupidity and because of an incorrect attitude towards her loved ones, the girl not only lost her mother, but was not even able to say goodbye to her. Love. care, respect and honor - this is what we should feel and show to our parents.
Many literary works are full of discussions about the problem of “fathers” and “children”. Undoubtedly, the older and younger generations cannot have the same views on life and interests. Due to their age and life experience, adults view the world differently than the younger generation. But this should not become a barrier between generations. After all, children and parents are the closest people in the world. This is why we must take care of our parents.

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1. The problem of mutual understanding between generations was reflected in the works of many Russian writers of both the 19th and 20th centuries; it worries modern writers and...
2. As long as humanity has existed, it has been concerned about the eternal problem of “fathers and sons,” which is based on the breakdown of ties between different...
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The problem of intergenerational relationships has probably existed since the appearance of humanity on Earth. Relationships between generations, unfortunately, are always a complex and pressing problem.

Countless minds have wondered about the causes and solutions to the problem of relationships between fathers and children. Why, it would seem, the closest people, blood relatives, cannot find a common language? Why do so many different tensions and disagreements arise? Why doesn't the younger generation understand and don't want to understand their elders?

The clash of different life positions of children and their fathers a priori takes place in the modern world. Views on life at different times in society differ, and what was the norm or even the rule thirty years ago is losing its relevance today. Living standards, the political situation in the country, cultural, social and material values ​​are changing, which also affects a person’s life position and is the basis for conflicts.

Reasons that cause misunderstanding between people of different ages

Let's try to find out the causes of conflicts and complex relationships between generations. There is no single reason; generational relationship problems are based on a number of reasons. Often, dissatisfaction with each other and silent protest accumulate for years, only to spill out at one not so wonderful moment. It all depends on the people themselves, who cannot find a common language and the peculiarities of building relationships in the family.

As a rule, unacceptable behavior of family members, financial problems, incompatibility of interests, everyday difficulties, social status of the parties, differences in moral values ​​between generations, and others are considered stumbling blocks.

It happens that the older generation in the family does not want to see that the children have grown up, they have developed their own values ​​and beliefs, perhaps diametrically opposed to their vision of the world, and do not want to put up with this state of affairs. Older people, perhaps with the best intentions and desire to pass on their experience to the younger generation, often dictate the conditions and rules of life, which inevitably leads to conflict.

Young people do not want to live by the rules of their elders, and they want to build their lives in their own way. They believe that they have enough knowledge and age is not a hindrance to their own opinion on things. Such disagreements cause conflict between the parties, and the opportunity to find out the very essence of the problem is lost.

The problem of relationships between fathers and children only worsens during disputes and mutual accusations, and there is no way out in such a situation. To minimize conflicts and avoid clashes between the parties, it is necessary to take into account the psychological characteristics of each participant in the dispute.

It is worth noting that the younger generation does not always go against the adults; it all depends on the foundations and traditions of the family, as well as upbringing. Often people who have been instilled with family values ​​since childhood plan their lives without giving up the advice and experience of their elders. There is also a tendency to choose a career under the influence of parents and model one's family on the example of one's ancestors. A person’s socialization is also influenced by uncontrollable factors such as social circle and the situation that exists in the society where the teenager is located.

Family as a source of misunderstanding

The source of the problem of intergenerational relationships is the decline in the eyes of the public of the very institution of family as such. For example, in our country, socio-cultural values ​​have changed over the past twenty years; the younger generation often does not see their place in society and is in a certain uncertainty.

An unstable political situation and the inculcation of the ideology of permissiveness gives rise to uncontrollable licentiousness as the norm of life. In the minds of young people, an erroneous opinion is formed about the uselessness of older people, and instead of honor and respect, old people receive a negative attitude towards them.

How to find trust and mutual understanding

The solution to these problems is a trusting relationship in the family, when a child can turn to adults with his problems, without expecting censure and prohibitions, and I know that mom, dad or grandmother will try to get to the bottom of the issue and will be able to help as loyally as possible. Otherwise, the future adult will withdraw into himself, which will lead either to depression and self-doubt for the rest of his life, or unbridled protest, which will subsequently lead to conflicts between the parties.

You need to remember that your family is your fortress, which you must protect and defend, since your loved ones are the most important in life. We should also not forget about the proverb: “If youth knew, if old age could.” And today we are children, and tomorrow we are mothers and fathers, and essentially our whole life will depend on how and on what principles we build relationships in our family.