Examples from literature and life. Human psychology - how to manage people

Here we will talk about the manifestation of arrogance; it is the manifestation of arrogance that is another tool of the ego.

A person controlled by the ego feels very important, feels superior to others, better, even despises others. An arrogant person is very easy to anger. Feeling arrogant is simply not beneficial.

An example from life. An ordinary person drives the car, sees a grandfather on a bicycle ahead, moves slowly, slowly, inside himself this person notices how he begins to worry about this. His mind begins to say: “Damn these cyclists, they are always blocking the road.” This man realized this. He realized that if he was driving, then he was more important than cyclists. No, he is not more important than anything.

An arrogant person has no acceptance. He has formed thought forms around him, his “I”, and if something is not included in this image, this person begins to get nervous and fuss, worry, worry. This person with a huge ego will even fight for his importance or arrogance and will die if necessary or kill himself. This is what arrogance means. The only way to get out of an arrogant state is to awareness your inner world, your thoughts, moods, emotions, your body.

But don't consider yourself more important than anyone else. Simply because before death we are all equal. Everything in this world is changeable and mortal. And before death everyone is equal. no matter the ant, the king, the homeless, we are all equal before death. We will all die. Understanding this principle allows us to be SIMPLER. And everyone loves simplicity, always and everywhere. Because with simple
easy for a person. Don't be important, be simple. Easy to say, but not very easy to do. You need to be able to monitor the manifestation of arrogance in yourself, and only a conscious person can do this. And you can’t do this without awareness.

We can also say that any irritation, dissatisfaction, pity, anger and other negative emotions are also associated with arrogance. How so? Yes, simply, let’s take pity. - This is a rejection of yourself and your life. This is the hope of getting better conditions than we currently have, since we feel important, we deserve better conditions.

Undoubtedly, you deserve it, but pity certainly will not help you improve your life. You need something, not complaining. And this is connected with any negative emotions; arrogance manifests itself everywhere. Therefore, know that as soon as you feel negative emotions, arrogance is right there, and negative emotions are a consequence of the state of arrogance. Know how to track this in yourself. Observe, consciously, the sensations in your body.

Arrogance can also manifest itself through a state of superiority, pride, and boastfulness. So be vigilant and watch out for manifestations of arrogance in yourself. In fact, this is just the tip of the iceberg, but you need to start with this at first, otherwise you will not advance further

So, the results of the article on the topic: “Manifestation of arrogance”:

• don't be arrogant, be simple;
• a manifestation of arrogance;
• this ego longs to be above others, this is how the ego works, it always considers itself better than others, and hates others;
• love yourself, but don’t consider yourself better than anyone, all people are different and you shouldn’t even compare yourself to others;
• all negative emotions are associated with rejection of oneself and life, and rejection is associated with self-importance or arrogance.

If the reader has any question, you can always ask it in the comments under this article.

Good afternoon, dear readers! Whether we like it or not, we influence other people throughout our lives. Whether this influence will be under your control depends only on your desire. There is a simple influence technique that will help you achieve what you want at minimal cost. Today I would like to talk about exactly this. Human psychology: how to manage people.

Why do you need people management?

Good managers in large companies undergo numerous trainings and practical exercises to learn how to influence people. For a multi-million dollar corporation to run like clockwork, management must be able to manage people. But these skills can help ordinary people in everyday situations.

I'll give you a simple example. The wife wants her husband to take out the trash. She follows him and constantly says: throw out the trash, throw out the trash, throw out the trash. As a result, she annoys him so much that he freaks out, they fight, and as a result, the garbage remains in its place, and the spouses do not speak for a couple of days. How much smarter it would be for the wife to do things differently if she knew a couple of influence techniques.

The ability to manage people can be useful not only in the professional sphere, but also in your personal life when you interact with a partner, friend or parents. Many conflict situations could be easily avoided if you used one of the management techniques.

We often want other people to do what we want, but we don’t always understand how to achieve this. Studying the psychology of influence helps you acquire the necessary mechanisms that will work for you and help you not spoil your relationships with others.

Power requires responsibility

When learning influence techniques, you need to remember responsibility. You can’t just manage people and not take responsibility for it. The simple ability to manipulate will not be enough to achieve the desired result.

Remember that your influence on another person leaves its mark on his life. It is very important to remember balance here.

Both of you should benefit from the position, neither of you should experience psychological or physical discomfort, and there should be no humiliation of human dignity.

Managing people does not mean condoning their desires. A person is always obliged to respect another person, value his freedom of choice and not try to take control of him. It is very important to be able to use techniques for the benefit of all participants in the process.

Bad and good manipulations

There are people who, in their thirst to get what they want, are ready to go over their heads, sweep away everything around them and do not take anyone into account. This is bad manipulation. When there is no respect for people, one's own benefit is put first - this is greed, which can destroy with one wrong move.

A good manipulation is that you get the desired result and at the same time the other participants benefit from the situation for themselves. At a minimum, the rule “do no harm” must be observed. If the other person does not receive anything useful, then at least he should not receive anything negative.

When you achieve your goal with the blood of other people, then this is bad manipulation and you have absolutely no concept of responsibility, honesty and dignity.

Healthy communication is built on mutual benefit. This is how you can achieve great success.

Several techniques

So, we come to the most interesting part. I bring to your attention ways through which you can achieve the desired result faster and easier. There are simpler ones, which we will start with, and there are others that will take a long time to learn.

Exaggerating differences. People tend to see more differences in objects that are clearly different.

I will give you a simple and understandable example. When I studied the psychology of influence, this principle became one of my favorites and I used it almost always and everywhere.

One day, I came to a friend and asked for a thousand dollars, citing an urgent loan payment. Of course, he refused, albeit very nicely. Next, I asked him to lend me his player on vacation. With a wide smile and joy, he gave me his gadget for temporary use.

In fact, I didn't need a thousand dollars, my goal was his player. But I knew how a guy would feel about such things. He never lent anyone their equipment. And then I decided to try this principle of influence. When he refused me a larger favor (a thousand dollars), he easily agreed to a smaller favor.

Another everyday example. I asked my husband to go to the store. It's already dark and cold outside. Of course he refused. Then the second less serious request was to take out the trash. To which he quickly agreed.

Remember that this principle should not be abused. A request that is too big will obviously look stupid. Prepare in advance, foresee what the person will definitely refuse, but this will not be an excessive request.

One good turn deserves another. A person who has received something will definitely want to repay in the same coin. We don't like to appear ungrateful in the eyes of others.

This principle is often used by sales representatives. They give you small souvenirs as a gift, and then offer you an annual subscription or purchase a product on sale. You feel obligated for the souvenir and make a subscription.

In everyday life, this principle can be used in different ways. You provide a small favor to the person, and when you ask for a response, he is more likely to agree.

Social proof. Man is accustomed to looking back at others. When we see someone doing this, we allow ourselves to do the same.

This principle can be easily seen in smokers. When a person doesn’t know whether he can smoke here or not and he doesn’t see anyone smoking around, he is unlikely to get a cigarette. And if he notices at least one smoker nearby, he will immediately take a pack out of his pocket.

You can use this principle to your advantage in different situations. For example, if your friend became ill on the street, and you have neither a phone nor money with you. Just stop any passerby and say: call an ambulance. Ask another passerby for water. People around you will begin to pay attention and act on the principle of social proof. Before you know it, there will be several dozen assistants around.

In addition, a person will happily perform a favor for someone who often praises him. Compliments can play a big role in managing people, don't neglect them. You can see by the expression on your interlocutor’s face how your compliments and praise affect him.

Deficit. The strongest principle of influence that entrepreneurs use. They constantly run promotions with limited quantities of products. A person wants to have something unique and special. Therefore, when he sees the last can on the shelf, he is most likely to take it.

You can manipulate your time by saying that you have limited time. When a subordinate comes to the boss, the boss says “I don’t have much time, so let’s get straight to the point.” The subordinate values ​​the boss’s time and values ​​such meetings. The main thing is that such a phrase does not seem disdainful.

These are not all the ways to manage people. You will find a lot of useful and practical advice in the book. Roberta Cialdini "Psychology of influence". If you don't have enough time to read, then you can always find an audiobook option.

Remember that managing people is a thing that requires a lot of responsibility from you. You should not manipulate your loved ones.

In the article “” I talk about possible troubles associated with the desire to take a loved one under your strict control.

Do you have your own techniques for influencing people? How do you achieve what you want? What techniques do you use? Do you notice a similar influence on yourself from those around you?

Remember to be responsible for your influence on others!

HOW TO MANAGE OTHERS.

HOW TO MANAGE

(The Art of the Manager)

After reading this book, you will master effective methods of managing a person - from the art of persuasion and winning over to manipulating your interlocutor and managing conflict.

Can you test yourself on 30 tests to determine personal and business qualities, level of intelligence, leadership and entrepreneurship abilities, and skills? communicate, physical and emotional state, health. 17 crossword puzzles will help you consolidate your knowledge.

The book is addressed to leaders, managers, entrepreneurs, managers - everyone who has to interact with people in difficult situations

From the review of Academician of the International Academy of Informatization, Professor I.Ya. Pisarenko:

"This book is a useful guide for anyone who wants to master the art of management. The author managed to combine high information content with an engaging presentation."

“The reliability of the rules contained in the book has been confirmed by practice. This is especially important, since many of the recommendations are new and have not yet been covered in the literature

"Brevity, clarity, bringing to specific rules and recommendations, pragmatism - this is the style of this book."

"The book is read with great interest. It systematizes a huge amount of practically useful material. I have no doubt that this book will go through more than one edition

From the review of Doctor of Psychological Sciences, Professor F.I. Ivashchenko:

"The work of V.P. Sheinov will be a useful guide for a manager. It is noticeably different both in content and in the form of presentation of material from other books on management

Over the past 13 years, the author has conducted business games and socio-psychological training for management personnel of more than 100 enterprises in Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, as well as in the Czech Republic, Slovakia, and Bulgaria. These classes revealed the weakest points in the management training of executives, managers, and entrepreneurs. The largest gaps were found in the following types of management activities:

ability to persuade

prevent and resolve conflicts,

manipulate the interlocutor and defend against manipulation,

win over your interlocutor,

manage business conversations, negotiations,

use working time effectively.

It is these sections that make up the content

the first six chapters of the proposed book. It includes only those materials from recent years that

arouse maximum interest among students,

most effective in practice,

logically completed with clear rules,

are not sufficiently covered in the literature.

The initiators of writing this book were the students themselves, who constantly raised the question of developing manuals on the topics they studied. Five such manuals, prepared by the author, were published in 1990. (they are indicated in the list of references), and in 1991, at the request of NPO Integral, the book “For the Manager on Management” was published.

Managing others begins with managing yourself. But to manage yourself, you need to know yourself well. For the purpose of self-knowledge, Chapter 7 provides 30 tests that allow you to evaluate your:

personal qualities,

Human psychology, for the most part - “slave-powerful” - it is such that almost everyone, with disharmony in their souls, wants to know how to manage people, and at the same time - they want to be controlled (paradox).
The phrase “manage people” is interpreted here as influencing a person, manipulating him - his thoughts, emotions (feelings) and most importantly - behavior, and not in the sense of professional leadership in production or command in the army... although even in the latter there are tyrants and manipulators...

How many scientific and semi-scientific-popular books have already been written on human psychology (and on “near-psychology”) on the topic: "How to manage people", many of them are really useful and practical, but still often become reading material for losers, filling their shelves or computer files with useless, but instilling hope for improving their lives, cargo with promising headlines - a kind of protection of the psyche from self-destruction.

And the whole point is that if a person is a loser in life’s scenario, then at least give him the “Lenin Library” (in terms of volume) of “smart” books on how to manage a person or how to achieve success in life - it doesn’t matter, he will still remain a loser - a priori...

How to manage people by changing human psychology

Based on the fact that human psychology initially contains the psychic energy “Physis”, which is the vital force that is aimed at freedom, achieving success and improving the quality of life and health, enjoying life (what a person lives for) - each individual subconsciously reaches out to to manage oneself and one’s life, and can automatically manage others, but we will still look at some practical examples of how to manage people, not for the purpose of manipulation, but for the purpose of improving relationships, and most importantly, to stop being a “power-slave” yourself.

Human psychology: how to manage people

To get to know the topic better: Human psychology: how to manage people, you have to get to know your own psyche and personality, i.e. their deep, subconscious structures (see).
In order to easily manage other people, be it children, parents, husband or wife, friends and partners, subordinates or superiors - it doesn’t matter, you need to start not by studying the psychology of another person, but by knowing yourself, your “I” - preferably, realizing your life script (see) - your own “control buttons” for thoughts, emotions and behavior in certain, usually stressful or crisis situations, including far-fetched (fantasized).

In a word, it is absolutely impossible to learn to control another person without knowing how to control yourself (“He who controls himself controls the world” -Seneca-)

The art of managing people

Subconsciously controlling a person, including oneself, is a kind of science, but to a greater extent it is an art. Those. for the most part, management itself: influence and some manipulations occur unconsciously (on a subconscious level), both on the part of the manager and the managed, although the former can manipulate quite consciously, for example, information from advertisers, television (other media), parents and teachers, professional managers-chiefs, marketers, salespeople, PR people, politicians and, of course, “scammers”, swindlers and swindlers of all stripes...

The art of managing people, of course, is based on understanding the basic psychology of a person, not everyone, of course, but many...namely, many people have such “control buttons” as the desire for freebies, freebies, greed, greed, vanity, ambition... - this rather, vices, as well as emotional and psychological aspects - shyness, excessive modesty, timidity, indecisiveness, fear of saying “No”, self-doubt, low self-esteem and a negative self-position in life - all this leads to the fact that such people those who know can easily control... what’s more, these people, oddly enough, subconsciously want to be controlled, manipulated and even deceived...

It is these people who have already been “controlled”, feeling like a “victim” in this psychological game, who switch, according to Karpman’s triangle, into a “persecutor”, with a completely natural desire to “revenge”, no matter who, the main thing now is oneself -control another person. This is where the “slave-domineering” human psychology arises.

How to learn to manage people

So, how can you learn to manage people by learning to manage yourself? Here you will need practice, practice and more practice, in addition to studying the theory.
Because Since control occurs mainly subconsciously, you can take some NLP (neurolinguistic programming) techniques as a basis. Your goal - as you remember - is not manipulation, but the establishment of harmonious relationships - otherwise, having again played the psychological game (see), you will again find yourself in the role of a “victim”.
In addition, it is advisable to become aware of your own “buttons” and level them, and also, by engaging in psychotraining yourself or undergoing a course of psychotherapy, using the services of a psychologist, to create harmony within your personality - to become more confident, decisive and successful...

On these pages you will learn in detail how to control a person, applying NLP techniques, using body language and certain verbal language.

“Most people don’t see the trap they’re in.” This statement conveys the meaning of any psychological manipulation. How do you know if someone is trying to force their opinion on you? How to identify a manipulator and resist him? The article contains 5 types of people most susceptible to manipulation.

From this article you will learn:

What psychological mechanisms make people manipulate or obey?

The term " manipulation"in most cases has a negative connotation. It is understood as a method of psychological influence that changes the behavior and perceptions of other people. In this case, the manipulator uses hidden, deceptive, and sometimes violent tactics.

Everyone resorts to manipulation, one way or another. It is an integral part of everyday life and cannot be avoided. It is impossible to avoid such influence, so it is better to learn to recognize it in time. Regarding use manipulation, it is used only when a person imagines its consequences and is responsible for them. Otherwise, such behavior is considered immoral in society.

What is it based on?classification of manipulations

How does the psychology of manipulation and submission work?Manipulation of people in modern psychology defined as a type of psychological influence. Its goal is to arouse in people intentions that do not correspond to their actually existing desires.

Manipulation has a number of specific characteristics:

• there is an impact of a psychological nature;
• the object of influence is perceived as a means of achieving one’s own goals;
• as a result, only the manipulator wins;
• the fact of influence and its direction are carefully hidden;
• manipulators play on weaknesses and use psychological strength;
• the object has false motivation.

Most people do not think about the fact that they are “managed” every day: in the family, in personal discussions, in the work team. Psychologists believe that the desire to control others reflects the individual’s weakness and lack of self-confidence. Such a desire is compensation for one’s own complexes. Interestingly, many manipulate others without even realizing it. To avoid this, strive for objectivity in the perception of your own actions and actions.

5 types of people most susceptible to manipulation

Who is at risk of becoming a victim of manipulation? Studying psychology of manipulation and submission allowed psychologists to identify 5 types of people most susceptible to the influence of others:

1. People who base their actions on common sense and logic, striving for comfort and safety. They are managed at the level of needs.
2. Creative people living under stress. Dreamers are influenced at the level of imagination and emotion.
3. Rational people with logical thinking. Such people are manipulated, hurting their self-esteem, as well as conscience and moral principles.
4. Hedonists whose behavior is determined by instincts. Their desire for pleasure is used for control.
5. People who are incapable of objective analysis of what is happening and critical thinking. They are manipulated by intimidation and pain.

What methods of influence do manipulators use?

There are certain types of manipulations, that is techniques and methods of influencing human consciousness. The classification of manipulations in modern psychology is based on grouping methods of influence according to different criteria.

Among the control methods there are 4 main:

1. Conscious. A person understands the mechanism of influence and foresees the final result, which is his goal.
2. Unconscious. The manipulator has a vague idea of ​​the essence of influence and its ultimate goal.
3. Communication (linguistic). Influencing the interlocutor during a dialogue using speech.
4. Behavioral. Controlling the interlocutor during a dialogue with the help of actions, actions, situations.

There is specialized literature - books on manipulating people. They distinguish several levels of psychological influence. They are determined by the most vulnerable points of the affected object:

• emotions;
• habits and style of behavior, way of thinking;
• interests and needs;
• beliefs and worldview;
• professional skills.

Manipulation of subordinates

In most companies, the main manipulator is its leader. Unfortunately, many bosses confuse motivation and manipulation.

Evident type of manipulation- discrepancy between words and actions. For example, management does not provide subordinates with the conditions to perform complex work. In words, the director praises the employee, convincing him that he is the only hope of the company. Or in words the subordinate is accused of failing to fulfill his duties, but in reality he is entrusted with more and more tasks.

Editorial advice: . It will teach you to influence subordinates without violence and motivate without manipulation.

Manipulation by the leader

The most common manipulations are “Monkey on the neck” and “I want to consult with you.” In the first case, the employee plays up the manager’s pride and “hangs his monkey around his neck” - a difficult task. In the second case, the subordinate shifts responsibility to the manager both for making the decision and for its execution. In case of failure, he can attribute it to incorrect advice.

Manipulating colleagues

Employees influence colleagues in many ways, sometimes without realizing what they are doing manipulation of people. There are 3 main control methods:

• « Orphan Kazan" The employee keeps his distance from management in order to, on occasion, refer to the fact that essentially no one is in charge of him.
• « Busy employee" The employee agrees to all instructions, but does not produce specific results, citing an overwhelming workload.
• « Small child" The employee pretends to be clueless in order to relieve himself of responsibility and transfer the task to his colleague.

How to resistmanipulationand block the pressure

There are effective methods for overcoming and blocking pressure and manipulation.

To protect yourself from the most skilled manipulator, you need to clearly understand how it works manipulation.

Mechanism of psychological influence

If the information you receive from the outside is not filtered and is immediately sent from the “focus of attention” to the instinctive solution to the problem, then you have fallen into a trap. In the diagram, the actions of the manipulator are indicated by yellow arrows. It works through emotions, switching your attention from a critical analysis of the problem to its simple, familiar solution. The need for analysis causes anxiety, and you instinctively choose seemingly reliable stereotyped actions.

1. Learn to recognize manipulation and notice the pressure on emotions.
2. Keep your distance from colleagues and management, do not show them all your weaknesses.
3. Listen to people and match words with actions.
4. Filter and verify dubious information.
5. Learn to say a firm “no.”
6. Stand your ground.
7. Think constructively, evaluate from the position of an unbiased critic.
8. Don’t try to maintain ideal relationships with everyone and appear better than you really are.

Manipulation of people and neutralization of its consequences is a common phenomenon in society. Knowing the mechanisms of psychological influence, people easily achieve their goals. It’s good if these goals are not related to damage to the object of influence. Otherwise, manipulation can and should be resisted. Each of us has the right to our own opinion. That is why critical thinking and balanced decisions are the best defense against attempts to control your consciousness.