A person who lacks loneliness. There is not enough communication: effective methods and techniques for compensating for communication deficits Alexander Gradsky

Humans are by nature emotional and social, and therefore it is quite normal that we want attention and care, praise and approval from others and, especially, close people.

However, for some individuals, the desire to earn approval turns into a kind of cult, the most important goal in life. They study, work, build relationships based solely on what others think of them, how their work will be appreciated by someone and “what people will say.” Needless to say, this approach can cause serious harm, because here the thirst for attention and praise goes beyond the usual, and becoming a goal, interferes with a healthy attitude towards criticism, interaction with others, and building a life.

Lack of attention - a fictitious or real problem?

A person's greatest need for attention is between the ages of 3 and 5. It is during this period that adults not only provide food and warmth, but also fulfill many other whims of the child. Yes, small man can manipulate. This is normal for child psychology: the child does not yet know how he can get what he wants. However, it is strange to see a teenager who continues to beg for sweets or toys from his mother in the supermarket, gradually moving from “buy, please” to a hysterical “give.” This is exactly what happens with neurotics - they try in every possible way to “fish out” a share of attention, but if this fails, then they do not shy away from provocation or manipulation.

It seems to a person that he does not have enough attention, no one appreciates him. He deeply experiences this state of uselessness. However, in fact, he is in a kind of shell created by himself.

Lack of attention or fear of new things?

A person can deny everything, claiming that he is just experiencing a lack of attention. He even firmly believes in his uselessness. In fact, he himself is closed to everything new, and in particular he is greatly offended by any criticism, disapproval or even a hint of condemnation. Both approval and praise become indicators, indicators of the correctness of a person’s very personality. In the opposite case, if someone criticizes a neurotic, he receives a similar response.

Obviously, attention deficit syndrome has something in common with the fear of learning new things. A person can actively and enthusiastically study theory, but never get to practice, because practice is where we often get into trouble and are forced to face difficulties and problems in communicating with other people who are not always loyal to us. In this situation, neurotics are afraid of reality; it is easiest for them to avoid criticism and disagreement. The thirst for attention and praise can result in a serious problem that will require contacting a psychologist, since it will increasingly become a wall in the path of healthy relationships.

Is it possible to live with attention deficit disorder?

Of course, but the quality of life decreases, because people do not know how to be alone with themselves, without the need to feed their significance and importance. They cannot evaluate their work without external evaluation. They will not start a new relationship until they hear approval from friends or parents. They won’t agree to an interesting proposal until they get acquainted with the public’s opinion. Thus, the true attitude to what is happening is overshadowed by the imposed one. And this will certainly result in neuroses, anxiety and dissatisfaction with life that comes from out of nowhere.

What to do if you don't have enough attention?

If you feel that others are indifferent to you and do not appreciate what you do, think about possible reasons this. It is very easy for a neurotic to be around those who do not offend him, do not provoke him and encourage him in every possible way. However, a constant thirst for attention and praise is not a normal need for an adult. A mature man or woman is called upon not only to receive, but also to give attention to those in need: their children, elderly parents, work colleagues, friends. It is impossible to change a neurotic person if he does not want it himself. And until he sees the problem, any attempts to prove that an excessive thirst for attention and praise interferes with the life of not only him, but also those around him will be useless. For any changes in life, a person must be open to new things, and not hide behind the wall of his own beliefs.

Attention deficit disorder or how you are manipulated

Neurotics who lack recognition, gratitude and praise are usually pleasant, polite interlocutors. They are easy to talk to, polite and have good manners. Especially during the first communication.

However, the purpose of their communication is not always to receive joy. They use their interlocutor to stir up interest in their personality, to manipulate and receive another dose of praise and admiration. Of course, this cannot be done without fables, fictitious stories and far-fetched details. It is not uncommon among representatives of these types of people to have the so-called, whose goal is to achieve attention and praise from their interlocutor by any means necessary.

When a person lacks attention, he begins to wage a guerrilla war

If for some period of time a neurotic does not receive respect and recognition of his own importance, then he begins to be upset, angry, offended, and experience a feeling of uselessness, a feeling that he is being neglected.

In such cases, a person can either decide to open up to new things and stop being dependent on the next dose of praise, or.

A person suffering from attention deficit disorder will sooner or later give you a “bill.” This is especially unpleasant to realize if you have lived with such a person for years, have joint property and even children.

What to do if you lack attention: recognizing the problem

1. Be honest with yourself about things that are difficult for others to talk about

   It can be difficult to realize that you are using manipulation to get attention. But if your emotional swing moves like pendulums: up and down, then you almost certainly have psychological problems. You may also have noticed that you cannot enjoy simple life, life without shocks, emotional upheavals, scandals and violent activity. IN healthy relationships With people you lack the “zest”, in work you quickly get bored with tasks, you get irritated if .

2. Another risk factor is attracting inappropriate individuals into your life.

   People with a disordered psyche, as if by smell, find those who need increased attention and emotional instability. Destructive personalities can come your way much more often than adequate people with mature judgments about life. Look at your surroundings, ask yourself whether all the people around you are beneficial or, at least, not harmful to you.

The choice is yours. Sooner or later, those around you will get tired of being manipulated by a neurotic. In such a situation, even your loved ones may turn away, because people feel pressure from you in any case, and over time, even the most persistent people refuse to live in an oppressive atmosphere. So don’t procrastinate, learn to live ordinary life, starting from their own attitude to what is happening. Try to set completely new goals that do not depend on what you have in life now. A constant thirst for attention and praise harms you, first of all.

Every year, humanity complains more and more about the fact that it lacks communication. People have come up with many ways to combat loneliness. But the problem still remains acute. The saddest thing in this story is that the person feels lonely surrounded by a huge number of people. Unfortunately, the situation is not changing for the better. Experienced specialists suggest finding out why this happens.

Loneliness among people

It’s very strange to hear, but most of all, it’s those who live in a huge metropolis who really lack communication. It has been noticed that residents of small villages do not have such problems, since they have known each other since childhood and, in fact, live as one big family. When, after graduating from school, a guy or girl decides to go to university big city, they very quickly find friends and like-minded people.

First of all, this happens because the same visitors as themselves live in the hostel. And only after graduation can these people truly understand that they lack communication (if during this time they fail to acquire a family or real friends).

A radically opposite situation arises with residents of a big city. They live in their own apartments and have little contact with each other (some don't even know their neighbors). When the period of graduation and growing up comes, a lack of communication appears. Everyone is running about their business, solving private problems and not paying attention to anyone. This is how it turns out that a person remains lonely even when he has many acquaintances.

Types of communication deficits

American psychotherapist Eric Berne called it famine in the middle of the last century. And this is fraught. According to his theory, a person who lacks communication can develop severe forms of mental illness. Modern scientists also agreed with Berne and identified the main types of communicative hunger. Let's take a closer look.

Types of lack of communication:

1. Hunger for stimulation. This is a lack of verbal communication when a person is forced to be alone for some time. Eric Berne has proven that even a few days of complete isolation can lead to negative changes. And the more time a person spends alone, the worse the manifestation of changes will be. This problem is especially relevant for parents who do not pay enough attention to their children or simply leave them in the maternity hospital. Most often, in adulthood such a person will not be able to fully adapt to society.
2. Hunger for recognition. A person experiences this feeling when he finds himself in a foreign place. He is surrounded by many people, but he does not see familiar faces, so he cannot contact them. This is especially felt when moving to another country, where the lack of communication is aggravated by the lack of knowledge of the language. As a result of the hunger for recognition, deep depression can develop.
3. Hunger to satisfy the needs for quality communication. We are talking about formal relationships at work or in any official field of activity. The question arises why there is not enough communication if you can contact your colleagues. The answer is obvious: a person has no friends or like-minded people, and formal dialogues and cold phrases do not allow one to fully enjoy simple live relationships.
4. Hunger for events. This type is characterized by a situation where people work in the same team and gradually begin to get bored with the monotony and lack of variety. They come up with imaginary incredible events, weave intrigues, and spread gossip. This situation is not exemplary, but it is necessary for men and women (equally) for psychological release.
5. Hunger for recognition. This situation is familiar to almost all people, since everyone strives to get their own piece of worthy appreciation. Only for each individual the dimensions and criteria of this recognition differ significantly. An example is a famous artist who was popular in his youth, but later became forgotten by everyone. Sometimes people with similar ambitions lose their health or become victims of addictions.

Thirst for change

There is a situation when a person outwardly looks successful, because he has many acquaintances, a normal job, and smooth relationships with close people. In this case, where does the annoying thought come from: “There is not enough communication, what should I do?” Very often the reason for this state lies on the surface: the person is overcome by elementary boredom. Monotonous life, constantly flashing faces, monotonous work lead to the idea of ​​a lack of communication. Everything is so boring that I don’t even want to talk to anyone.

In this case, it is recommended to change the situation. Maybe it’s worth finding a different place to live, new friends, and inventing a new hobby. Any changes will be beneficial, since new information will appear, and the old problem will disappear forever.

Attention deficit

Some individuals lack communication with people due to a lack of basic attention. One person is content with communicating with a narrow circle of close people, while another lacks round-the-clock contact with a large audience. He constantly craves new acquaintances and dreams of compliments, applause and admiration addressed to him. This is an absolutely normal situation, since all people have different temperaments. Those who lack recognition must change their lives so that they can become the center of attention. A smart decision would be to enroll in a drama school, take personal lessons, excel in your hobbies, attend more parties or organize them at home.

Lack of happiness in personal life

It is because of problems in the family that people most often feel lonely. There are so many people around, many good friends, colleagues, relatives, but your loved one is missing. In this situation, there is only one way out: to look for your soulmate. As soon as it appears, the feeling of loneliness will disappear without a trace.

Bad habits

Usually there is not enough live communication for those who have bad habits. This problem is especially relevant for people who depend on a computer. Constantly spending time in front of the monitor takes you away from reality. A person lives the life of his characters, communicates virtually with others, stops voicing his thoughts, conveying them using letters and numbers. This isolation leads to a lack of communication. An adult becomes like a child who lives in a world of illusions. This situation leads to severe mental disorders because to the human body live contacts and emotions are necessary. Experts recommend not to overuse new technologies and use gadgets in moderation.

Heavy character

People with this problem also lack communication. If a person is too closed, has a pessimistic attitude, does not trust anyone and deliberately does not make contact, sooner or later a lack of communication will arise in his life. People are afraid to deal with incomprehensible, secretive personalities. It is enough to misbehave a few times and you will get the impression of an unbearable character. Introverts and phlegmatic people should try to have more contact with people; over time they will learn to do this correctly.

“There is not enough communication while on maternity leave, what should I do?” is a question that concerns almost all young mothers. Women face this problem immediately after childbirth or some time later. There is no need to dramatize the situation, because maternity leave allows you to get your baby back on his feet and return to his previous physical shape. To avoid getting bored, you need to take the advice of experts:

1. Don't try to be perfect. If the status has changed, this does not mean that responsibilities and excessive demands have increased. There is no need to try to do everything, you need to give yourself time to recuperate after childbirth.
2. Don't focus solely on the child. If a mother devotes her time only to the baby, she will have problems in her personal and social life. And the baby will grow up spoiled, which will have a detrimental effect on his future fate.
3. Take time for yourself. If a mother takes care of herself, her husband, her child, and everyone around her will like it.
4. Communicate more. You shouldn’t sit within four walls, you need to go out and contact people. This way you can get a lot of positive emotions and make new friends.
5. Going out into the world without a child. It will be great if young parents do not forget about spending time together. It is also useful for a young mother to sometimes go to a friend's house or go shopping.
6. Involve your husband and relatives in caring for the child. If there is not enough communication while on maternity leave, you need to allow yourself to rest or do what you love. After all, not only the mother is obliged to care for the baby, the father and other relatives will do it with pleasure.
7. Raise your intellectual and spiritual level. This is the most important thing that can be advised, since personal growth will determine further fate families. If mom doesn't lag behind the times, it will raise her self-esteem, which will have a positive effect on her psychological state.
8. Learn to dream. Having given birth to a child, the woman has already fulfilled main goal own life. But this is just the beginning, because from this period all the fun begins. The fair sex needs to indulge in dreams in order to build long-term plans for later life.

Older people often complain about a lack of communication. They strive to communicate and are ready to do this around the clock, but relatives perceive this as an intrusiveness. Experts give important advice, which will help solve all problems. You just need to create a circle of like-minded people. This will happen as soon as a person finds something to his liking. It is necessary to join a community of interests, attend social events, and come up with interesting things to do with your neighbors. joint activities.

The idea that a person is lonely is more than erroneous. If such a feeling is present, it means that he simply does not want to communicate with others. You need to understand yourself, understand the reasons for your melancholy and actively engage in battle with a pessimistic attitude. You just have to look around and a huge number of people will immediately respond and want to be nearby.

Oleg Menshikov, willingly or unwillingly, revived one of the main media brands of the nineties with the name of his program. But we see a much more serious (and conscious) comeback as the return to the media space of one of the best television programs new Russia- Konstantin Ernst’s “Matador” program. It is clear that Konstantin Lvovich could return to the air of Channel One, but the appearance of “Matador” on YouTube would still be much more nice gesture. And just imagine what his new releases could be like! Ernst, wearing a horned helmet, talks about the filming of “Viking,” talks with Tarantino about Charles Manson, discusses the hunt for drug lord El Chapo with Sean Penn, or travels down the waves of his memory to the time of filming the public service announcement “This is My Country.”

Nikolai Drozdov. "Guys about animals"

Nikolai Nikolaevich’s departure from “In the World of Animals” may well become a way out to a new audience. Drozdov has been giving regular lectures at the Moscow “Ryumochnaya in Zyuzino” for some time now, attracting constant sold-out crowds, which means the ground is already ready. Topics for his show are a dime a dozen - from a memoir series about Soviet television to visits to his eminent friends and fans with an audit of relationships with pets.

Alexander Rosenbaum. "GOP stop"

Rosenbaum’s talent as a stand-up master is generally greatly underestimated, although everyone knows that Alexander Yakovlevich is capable of keeping impressive halls across the country in suspense for a week alone. Launching your own show can not only expose an artist to... new side, but also become a reason for actualization in the eyes of a new generation of listeners. The topics are very wide - from rock and roll to boxing. Everyone knows that Rosenbaum is still in great shape.

Grigory Leps. "Slumdog Millionaire"

Leps has something to tell - as a person who has come a long way from performing romances in Sochi restaurants to national recognition and participation in primetime shows on Channel One. Actually, Grigory Viktorovich may well begin his broadcasts with a master class on overcoming difficulties on his own path, and continue with conversations with people who have gone through a similar path. The most resonant issue in the future seems to be one that sheds light on one of the most mysterious stories Russian show business - the rise to fame of Stas Mikhailov - who, by the way, is also from Sochi.

Alexander Gradsky. "That's the voice"

No one will (or rather, will not want) to argue with the authority of Alexander Borisovich. His aplomb is definitely made for a regular solo channel - even the role of a soloist in a quartet (as in “The Voice”) is too small for him. And one can only remotely imagine how it will turn out. In particular, I would like to see a series of programs where Gradsky teaches modern Russian stars to sing. Just imagine how Alexander Borisovich is trying to force Oksimiron to take the top “A”.

Victor Pelevin. "Ifak"

One of the main advantages of the YouTube format is the absence of this format itself. It is this freedom that makes Internet shows so attractive to both creators and viewers. And it is precisely this that can become the reason for de-virtualizing the main hoaxer of modern Russian literature. However, the studio in Pelevin’s program may well be immersed in pitch darkness, and Chapaev, Pavel I and, of course, Pyotr Pustota will probably appear among the interlocutors.

Yuri Shevchuk. "The Lord respects us"

The leader of “DDT” is a good talker (the last interview with Dud is further confirmation of this). It seems to us that he greatly lacks periodic solo appearances in the “Words of the Shepherd” format - it would have turned out to be such a moral and ethical stand-up with elements of buffoonery and Bashkir devilry. It will go off with a bang.

Anatoly Chubais. “Chubais is to blame for everything”

One of the main ideologists of those very reforms and in the past the country's chief energy engineer, perhaps, has long been accustomed to the fact that all of Russia considers him the main culprit of all its troubles, and it is high time for him to monetize the phrase included in the name of a potential YouTube channel. Anatoly Borisovich could talk about how to do things in an atmosphere of universal hatred, and in general, finally tell about how everything really was then.

Pavel Durov. "Resistance"

The founder of VKontakte and creator of the Telegram messenger has not appeared in the public sphere anywhere for a long time except on his own Instagram. Fans of the Russian Zuckerberg receive information about his movements from sources such as Nastya Rybka’s live broadcasts, so his own show on the Internet would be a serious step for him to win even more fans. Another thing is that it is unlikely to be released on YouTube. Most likely, Pavel will create his own video service or suddenly go live directly on Telegram using a new algorithm. Well, the topics of his programs will probably be technologies of resistance to restrictions on freedom. I would probably like to see the artist Banksy as the first guest - especially since he and Durov seem to both live in London.

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The intelligence level (IQ) of Albert Einstein is 170, Stephen Hawking is 160, Ashton Kutcher is 160, Natalie Portman is 140. It seems that the smartest people do not have any special problems and are truly happy. But, as it turns out, happiness is a rare life companion for exceptionally smart people, and here’s why.

website loves to understand issues that haunt many people. Especially for you, we found the reasons that prevent smart person don't feel lonely, unhappy and lost.

10. They constantly analyze everything

Smart people clearly know what they want. They often look at the world idealistically, and it is difficult for them to give up their expectations. This prevents them from receiving satisfaction from life and feeling happy, and the reality of the world around them often only causes disappointment.

Every person wants understanding in close relationships. But it is very difficult for smart people to speak openly with their interlocutor: they are often not understood. They want to talk about important and significant events, and it is rare that they meet like-minded people. According to scientists, people with high IQs often experience socialization even more painfully than loneliness.

Try to reconsider your environment: get rid of the company of people who pull you to the bottom or empty you internally. Find ways to make new acquaintances with people whose company you long for. Appreciate loved ones who truly love you - this is The best way get rid of feelings of unhappiness, says psychologist David G. Myers.

7. Many smart people suffer from psychological problems

Many scientific works confirm that intellectuals often suffer from mental disorders. Scientists have not identified a direct relationship, but the fact remains. The habit of constant analysis leads to frequent reflections on life, death and the meaning of existence. All this in most cases ends in depression.

Help others more often, even strangers. Research has shown that people who support others experience feelings of inner harmony much more often than those who ignore other people's problems. In addition, this is an excellent reason to take a break from constant thoughts and gloomy thoughts.

6. They strive to meet the expectations of others

The academic success of such people in the future brings with them ever greater expectations of those around them. Such a burden often turns out to be an unbearable burden, especially for gifted children who are deprived of their childhood early.

Excessive focus on ourselves, worry about how we look in the eyes of others prevent us from living and enjoying ourselves. Try to treat study and work as a game: get fully involved in the process and try not to focus on the result, advises famous psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi .

5. They rarely make rational decisions.

As research has shown, intellectuals make mistakes in life just as often as everyone else. “People with above-average IQs engage in irrational behavior, are more likely to make mistakes, and rely on intuition,” the authors say.

Scientist Igor Grosman of the University of Waterloo suggests talking about your problems in the third person (changing “he” or “she” to “I”) to distance yourself emotionally, reduce bias, and find wiser solutions.

Today, when life is not easy for most actors and even major stage masters remain unclaimed, new names unexpectedly emerge, mainly thanks to television. This happened to you too. And although you have been working at the Lenkom Theater for a long time, fate turned out to be favorable to you only now. Why?
- I came to Lenkom after the Shchukin School for three performances at once: “Juno” and “Maybe”, “The Star and Death of Joaquin Murietta” and “Cruel Intentions”. But a year later I was drafted into the army, and when I returned, I found myself out of work. I didn’t have time to jump into the last carriage of cinema (I started filming very late, in 1989), and then “fun” events began in the country - the transition to a market economy, and the theater responded to this instantly - all creative experiments where you could try yourself , have stopped. Therefore, from 1991 to 1993, all I did was dance in crowd scenes; nothing else was possible for me. If Andrei Zhitinkin’s entrepreneurial performance “The Game of Blind Man’s Bluff” had not come out at that time, I would have left the profession.
- It turns out that Zhitinkin saved you?
- No, my idiotic stubbornness saved me, although for some time I rushed about and even planned to become a journalist - somehow I had to exist... After all, when the salary received in the theater is spent in four days and you are shaking that you can be taken to the police as a homeless person without Moscow registration, then you can climb the wall...
- So, unbearable life circumstances forced you to spin around and look for work on the side?
- Certainly. At the same time, I have always been a seeking person and never sat idle. At the same Shchukin Theater School I studied from morning to night acting skills, went to all the lectures and seminars. In a word, it was formed with terrible force.
- Was this connected with the complex of a provincial who wants to prove to Muscovites that he is no worse than them, and even in some ways better, more educated?
- Don't think. My parents, who also worked in the theater, gave me a really good education. I graduated from music school, we have an excellent library at home, and my social circle was very interesting, after all, the Omsk Drama Theater is not the last in Russia. All I have left from the provincials is open-heartedness and openness; I have not forgotten how to be surprised.
- Let me know why you are surprised?
- Human optionality and lack of professional skills in any matter. At the same time, I am surprised when people work efficiently without thinking about money.
- Where have you seen this now?
- In the film company "Cinema-Phantom", where the guys earn money on the side, so that they can then make their own films with it, without thinking about whether it will bring them any income or not. Only truly free people who have no complexes about the lack of material wealth and comfort can behave this way.
- How do you feel about comfort?
- You see, depending on what you mean by comfort. If I am used to smoking expensive tobacco, then I try to save money on something else, but not deny myself this pleasure. And the fragrant smoke does not irritate those around you, which means they also do not experience discomfort. Having become a legal Muscovite after 17 years of living in the capital and having received an apartment from the theater, I can say that this is also comfortable.
- And now you’re busy with European-quality renovations?
- First of all, it was important for me that the taps in the apartment did not leak, the bathroom worked and the lights were on... Furniture would also be nice, but I’m not such a rich person to buy cheap things... And then, when it’s not blowing, then you can sleep on the floor...
- Does your wife have the same opinion?
- I don't have one at the moment.
- How do you cope with loneliness?
- I would say this: I miss him. The fact is that my public profession is psychologically very exhausting. You have to be in sight all the time, communicate with different people, constantly keep a “face face”.
- But it seemed to me that you like to be in the spotlight and you have a certain excitement as a player, because it was not for nothing that Mark Zakharov gave you the role of a French adventurer in the play “Barbarian and Heretic”... Or am I mistaken?
- Of course, I love extreme situations and I like to take risks. It’s much more interesting for me to be introduced to a new role in a day than to go to rehearsals for a year and a half and harp on the same thing. I also like to work in four places at the same time: Lenkom, Tabakerka, on television and in enterprise...
- Doesn’t it offend you that, having worked for so many years at Lenkom, you do not play central characters, although at the same time you were awarded the Innokenty Smoktunovsky theater prize and the special prize “The Seagull” for the role of Nozdryov in “The Mystification”?
- It doesn’t bother me, because I’m not going to finish my creative biography, by the time I'm 50, I hope to play until I'm old. In addition, if everything goes well for an artist in his youth, then there is a danger of losing control over himself in the future and overestimating his capabilities. Well, if at the beginning of your journey you go through serious trials and at the same time withstand the blows of fate, then maybe something will come of you. In addition, I am a very superstitious person, I’m afraid of slacking in my profession, because then she might take cruel revenge for it.
- Are you equally sensitive to the advertising in which you are now taking part? Or is this just a source of additional income?
- I won’t lie to myself: of course, advertising makes life more or less tolerable, but at the same time I learn some professional lessons from it. For example, the ability to energetically and clearly convey the desired text to the audience within 20 seconds. I can’t say that I am omnivorous and agree to any job; I have to give up a lot for the sake of the theater.
- But if you now have so many offers, then why do you continue to stick with Lenk and not move, say, to Tabakerka?
- I am not Oleg Pavlovich’s person, not his student.
- Do only his students work for him?..
- That's not the point. We have an excellent creative relationship, and he lives by approximately the same principle as me: he acts a lot in films, including commercials, and plays in two theaters. At the same time, he combines several high positions. And yet, “Tabakerka” is not my home, and in Lenkom even the walls help. In addition, Mark Anatolyevich knows how to work with artists like no one else. Although after the release of "Mystification" I knew that over the next two years I would not get a single new role, because Zakharov would take over other actors in the performances. This is his policy.
- Is there something from Nozdryov in your character?
- I’ll say this: if I met a person like Nozdryov in my life, I would under no circumstances communicate with him. Here Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol helped me a lot, forcing me to put on the “skin” of an adventurer.
- Do you often reread Gogol and other Russian classics?
- Not now. I mainly read books published by the Foreign Literature Publishing House in the “Illuminator” series.
-Why?
- I need to know how modern foreign authors write in order to understand how secondary I am in relation to them in my writing.
- This is something new... Explain.
- The fact is that I am now finishing my second book after “Minor Changes”, in which, in addition to poems and three stories, there is also fantastic story about one artist.
- So about you?
- No, rather, this is a collective image, since all artists do not live their own lives, but fictitious ones, in other people’s images.
- And therefore they are quite good psychologists...
- Maybe. First of all, I trust my own intuition. It's hard to explain in words, but I think I have a good sense of people.
- Including women?
- Well, this is a special conversation. Women in our country turned out to be more adapted to life changes than men, and therefore they quickly make careers and drag on their backs not only their husbands and children, but, perhaps, the whole of Russia.
- How do you feel about a strong woman?
- With respect, if she remains a woman.
- Aren’t women’s stupidity annoying you?
- Annoys. Tell me, please, how can I communicate with a stupid lady? Well, you’ll admire her charms for an hour or two, and then you need to talk... Not only after THIS, but sometimes before... I don’t mean only high intelligence and erudition, but wisdom as such, which does not depend at all on the profession . Your friend may be an actress, or she may just work in the subway, that’s not the point.
- Would you like your wife to be an actress?
- If we begin to help each other in our common cause, then why not? Well, if she cares only about herself, remaining indifferent to my problems, I think such a “trade union” will not strengthen family ties.
- And you won’t be jealous of other men on stage with whom she will hug and kiss?
- Not at all, because I know from myself the true price of kissing on stage. This is just a game. And marriage is a continuous chain of compromises, and here you need to be able to adapt to each other, unless, of course, your wife is cheating on you. I am not discovering any America here, but loyalty and devotion are the key to family happiness.
- Did you understand this thanks to your parents, whom, as I know, were called the most faithful theatrical couple in Omsk?
- I am already 35 years old, and I still, like little Serezhenka, idolize my mother - the leading actress of the Omsk Theater Valeria Prokop, I always remember about my deceased father - Nozheri Chonishvili, whose name the Actor's House in the city bears. This is probably why I also have a special respect for older artists who have something to learn from.
When I worked with Evgeny Leonov in the plays “Funeral Prayer” and “Optimistic Tragedy,” I never ceased to be amazed at his modesty, his ability to listen and hear any person. And only when he died did we all realize that a huge human talent lived next to us. Our profession is very vain, dependent and careless, but sometimes you want to stop and seriously think, what have you done that is so outstanding that people will remember you for a long time? So I run and run, without stopping, but I haven’t really accomplished anything big yet...
- And what are your immediate plans for the future, besides the book that you are preparing to publish?
- I want to make a film based on my own script. But this requires a team of altruistic artists and 700 thousand dollars. I think my friends and I will find the money for this painting somewhere, but it’s difficult to predict what the artistic result will be. And yet, I believe that even now you can do interesting things that warm your soul, even without money. The main thing is to preserve yourself and not change your calling.