How to deal with rude and disrespectful people. How to behave with a man so that he is afraid of losing

In our world, everything is built on relationships between people. And not everyone, unfortunately, knows how to build them. This article will talk about how to behave with people. Let's look at some simple truths about relationships.

• Give people what you would like to receive in return. We should not expect from others what we ourselves are not ready to give them. Relationships can only be built on reciprocity. If you need love, love yourself. If you want to be devoted to you, you should be like that. If you want to be treated with respect, respect yourself.
• Say exactly what you really think. Don't force people to guess for you. Formulate your thoughts clearly and clearly, and most importantly, be sincere. As soon as lies appear in a relationship, they will immediately be destroyed. If it’s difficult to say what you think because your thoughts are harsh, soften them, but still don’t lie.
• Never make assumptions for others. Misunderstanding is the main cause of conflicts. If you don’t understand another person’s thought, you shouldn’t speculate for him. Better ask again.
• Value true friendship. Appreciate people who are ready to share both difficulties and joys with you.
• Be faithful to your loved ones. You need to be loyal both in and outside of relationships. Even if the relationship ends, you should not allow yourself to make negative statements about the person with whom you were with.
• Very important advice how to behave with people - be honest and keep your promises. If you promise to do it, do it. If you understand that you can’t do it, then you shouldn’t promise. The rule applies to all areas of life, especially friendship. Empty promises are essentially the same lies.
• Don't judge others. Any person has the right to make a mistake, including you and your loved ones. Before you judge someone for a mistake, remember that you yourself have sometimes stumbled and at these moments you wanted to feel supported and not listen to criticism.
• You can't be too stubborn. Even a trivial dispute can destroy relationships between people. This cannot be allowed. It is important to understand what is more important - the desire to always be right or relationships with people. If you are in a relationship, then you need to learn to stop the argument in time. If there is a feeling that the conversation is developing into a conflict, you need to try to change the topic or directly say that you have no desire to continue talking about it.
• Don't be lazy. Elementary laziness can kill even strong relationships. If you need to call an old friend who lives in another city, then there is no need to put it off until tomorrow. This needs to be done right now.
• We must not forget about our relationship with ourselves. The most important, complex and confusing relationship a person has is with himself. Love for people should not exceed love for yourself. You need to support, value and respect yourself, only in this case you can be happy.
• On life path no one meets in vain. We meet new people every day, and each of these meetings gives us something new and important. Someone tests us, someone uses us, someone allows us to gain new skills, someone simply makes us better and more perfect. This is perhaps the most valuable.
• When trying to figure out how to deal with people, it's important to remember that you get out of a relationship what you give out. Don’t even hope that you will be able to receive smiles, hugs and declarations of love in response to whims, insults and accusations. If understanding is important to you, try to understand yourself. A simple formula works at all times - everything comes back.
• You should remember that you cannot be nice by force. Don't try to carve out a place for yourself in another person's life. You don't know if he needs it.
• People tend to change. Over time, changes occur in people's needs, thoughts and even beliefs. If you are told that you have changed, you should not be upset and look for shortcomings in yourself. Maybe change has just made you better. If because of this, relationships with people come to naught, it means that a new stage is beginning in your life, and you should not forget to congratulate people from the past on the holidays.
• Relationships with people require constant work on them. They cannot build themselves. Everyone should be interested in this acting parties. Reciprocity, sincerity and respect are the foundations without which any relationship will collapse.
• You need to be able to forgive. For some reason, it is believed that the ability to forgive is a sign of weakness. Nothing like this. Only the truly strong and powerful are capable of forgiveness. a wise man, who understands that the past cannot be allowed to spoil the present and future. For this, he is ready to forgive and let go of all grievances.
• You cannot change another person. A person can only do this himself. People need to be accepted as they are. You can honestly talk about what doesn’t suit you, but don’t try to break the person. If he values ​​his relationship with you, maybe he himself will want to change something about himself.
• People who are close to you need to be appreciated.

We have given several recommendations on how to behave with people. Learn to communicate with people, build relationships with them. After all, this is a great value in our life. Because true strength lies in unity, and a lonely person is incredibly weak. This means that the ability to make friends and communicate with people helps us survive.

You're trying to leave the office after a busy day at work, but your colleague doesn't let you walk out the door, talking about celebrity romances. This information is not interesting to you, and you are trying to show that you are in a hurry. However, a colleague does not allow you to leave, turning the conversation into local gossip. She doesn't seem to care what she talks about, she's trying her best to keep you in her sights. You really don’t like meeting talkative acquaintances on the street, as they usually get boring tactless questions and love long-form topics. If you have a particularly talkative relative, you will not be delighted if you find yourself next to him at the holiday table.

Dialogues with such people are conducted one-sidedly. You feel like you are playing a secondary role in the conversation. Even if you try to insert some kind of remark, your friend will ignore it. This behavior can be really annoying. Next, let's talk about how to deal with people who talk too much.

What determines the choice of strategy?

People who like to talk too much put you in an awkward situation. With their entire appearance, they show that they do not take you seriously, and at the same time they waste your precious time. It is impossible to always avoid meeting with them, so it would not hurt to develop a strategy that will allow you to leave the dialogue with a clear conscience. Such situations become possible due to a combination of two factors. It depends on the personality of the talkative person, as well as your attitude towards them. That is why the choice of strategy is important when in front of you is not the woman from the next door, but your own boss or your own aunt.

Why do some people tend to dominate conversations?

Karsta Simon, an employee of the University College of Oslo and Akershus, and her American colleague Davis William Baum analyzed conversational data between communication partners. Having discovered certain connections in the conditions of speech behavior, an international team of researchers decided to look at where the tendency in which one of the interlocutors dominates arises and is maintained. As the authors of the experiment note, “human speech occurs in the form of a stream in which functional divisions vary significantly in duration.”

Researchers believe that since living organisms exist in conditions of constant choice, based on the receipt of external signals, it should be possible to discover the laws of communicative relations. In other words, people who are accustomed to being monopolists in conversation do so with the permission of their interlocutors. But is it possible to change the image that others already have of us as meek listeners?

Principle of correspondence

Usually living organisms, including people, try to meet the conditions outside world. The one who persists the most dominates. Deprivation of dominance is only possible if someone makes decisions faster than the dominant expects. Researchers have previously used this approach to analyze conversations in an experimental setting. As a result, it was revealed that people’s positions change depending on whether they are dominant in the dialogue or focused on consistency with the interlocutor (principle of correspondence)

On the importance of body language

As we know, communication between people occurs not only through speech. Nonverbal cues (body language) are good relationship enhancers. With gestures you can show your agreement and disagreement with your opponent’s remarks. As soon as you nod your head, the interlocutor will understand that you are ready to listen. But if you regularly look at your watch or turn your body towards the exit, he will understand that you are not in the mood to talk. However, in the past, you may have sent other, unintended signals towards the other person that cause him to continue talking, even if you have one foot outside the door.

Progress of the experiment

An international team of researchers led by Karsta Simon tested speech patterns in an experiment with nine speakers German language. Each of the volunteers was paired with interlocutors (confederates) who were part of the experimental design. The conversation was conducted by a moderator who was actually an experimenter. The researchers closely observed the verbal behavior of real participants (approving or disapproving behavior). The Confederates, in turn, agreed in advance with each other on remarks and the number of words spoken.

Results

The researchers believed that participants would focus on the length of Confederate utterances. That is, if the interlocutor were silent, then the real participant would begin to utter monosyllabic remarks. Conversely, the real participant could speak more if the confederate spoke more. However, contrary to the researchers' prediction, the number of words spoken by the subjects had no relation to the number of words spoken by their opponents. As the authors point out, the participants tried to engage silent people in the conversation out of politeness. This situation is the exact opposite of what the correspondence principle states.

How does this work in real life?

Perhaps the experimental setup is not quite suitable for real life, because according to the conditions, three were present in the conversation, not two. Therefore, when you try to isolate yourself from one overly talkative interlocutor, the results may be slightly different. In addition, the Confederates received clear guidelines regarding what they could and could not say. In real life, people are not constrained by obligations to third parties.

Finally

You may think that if you are the most modest one in a conversation of three people, when these two are talking enthusiastically, they do not notice your timid remarks. When you are in a dialogue with your boss or family members, out of respect you cannot allow yourself to disagree with their point of view. But, as we see from scientific experiments, you should not try to interrupt their remarks in the dialogue, as this will not change the situation.

On the other hand, talkative individuals will be a little embarrassed if you sit quietly and distantly, without resorting to non-verbal gestures (such as nodding). This is the only way to make them talk less. Just stop contributing to the dialogue and it will magically fade away.

We've all been asked rude, inappropriate, awkward questions at one time or another, minding our own business. Although everyone makes mistakes in conversation from time to time, some seem to have a knack for sticking their noses in and being tactless in social settings.

In this article we will talk about what exactly you can say to such people in response and how to behave with them in order to avoid answering those questions that in most cases are simply inappropriate to ask.

Act honorably

Typically, such people do not realize that they are exhibiting bad etiquette. But even if they know what they are doing, they should never stoop to bad manners and retorts. Your answer should be delivered with a smile and an even tone. If possible, use humor to soften your response, then change the subject.

Be on the lookout

Sometimes you may find yourself in an unpleasant social situation in which you are almost being interrogated. In this case, you should arm yourself with a couple of answers that will let her or him know that you consider these questions to be rude and inappropriate. There are several ways to deal with such people: say what they want to hear, make a witty comment, or directly communicate that you think asking these kinds of questions is boorish.

Have boundaries

Some rude or inappropriate questions tend to come up more often in conversation than others. If you tend to keep your mouth shut sometimes, resolve to use proper manners and not be overly nosy. If you find yourself on the receiving end of the questions, be prepared to respond in a way that both makes the person perceive that you are thinking about his/her curiosity, while also maintaining as much level-headedness as you can muster.

Let's look at a few inappropriate questions that often come up in conversation.

1. How much money do you earn?

The question about money is very popular, despite the fact that many consider it rude and inappropriate. You have several ways to deal with this issue. Your answer will vary depending on whether it's from a colleague or your seatmate on the plane.

The simplest answer is to say that you don't discuss money with anyone except your wife/husband/boyfriend, etc. Most people will accept this answer. Occasionally you will come across those who will begin to put pressure or even insult you in order to get an answer, but in such cases it is enough to realize that such people incredible are rude, and that paying them any attention to answering their question is completely unnecessary.

On the other hand, if you have more irony/sarcasm in your character, you can counter the question with wit: “ Enough to pay bills and have a little fun“.

2. How much did you pay for this house/apartment?

Another question about money that doesn't deserve an answer. However, since you are such a polite and good-natured person, you can answer something like this: “ I paid the market value of this house/apartment in the area. This is a very comfortable house/apartment – ​​as soon as I walked inside I felt at home.” After this, quickly change the topic, thereby making it clear that the discussion of prices for apartments/houses is over. If he or she still wants to know, house/apartment price information can be easily found by anyone who knows how to use the Internet.

3. Are you still single/no boyfriend/no girlfriend, etc.?

Many men and women aged 20-30 have heard this. This is a question that is asked by a relative or boyfriend with good intentions - they just want you to be happy. However, if it is asked over and over again, this is already going too far.

If you're currently single/haven't found a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc., say that you haven't found anyone you'd like to share your life with yet, but if you do, you'll tell someone who needs to know. .

4. Have you lost/gained weight?

If a person asks a question about changes in your weight, most likely the answer is already obvious, and you really have gained or lost several kilograms or more. When someone asks such a question and you feel for some reason that it is inappropriate, say: “ I feel great. How are you doing?“This will be enough for the person to understand that you are not going to pay attention to this issue.

5. When are you going to start a family?

Many newly married couples or those living together hear this question. If a close friend or relative asks, you may decide to give an honest answer. However, if some annoying nobody asks, say that as soon as you performed the wedding ceremony/started living together, you began to consider yourself a family.

6. Other rude questions

There's no shortage of inappropriate rude questions, and no shortage of people who think it's okay to ask them. Therefore, it makes sense to launch with standard responses that work in all sorts of situations.

Here are some possible answers:

• Why ask such a rude question?
• I have made it a rule not to discuss this topic with those who are not concerned.
• Smile, look your interlocutor deeply in the eyes and ask: “ Did you really ask me this now?”
• I won't even touch on this topic. Smile and change the subject.
• Take a conscious, sustained pause, look at the person and say: “ I will not answer this question.”

Everything is determined by your character - if you prefer straightforwardness, do not say openly that you consider the question inappropriate. And if you are a witty person, don't take the question seriously, make a joke out of it and gracefully change the subject.

Always remember: no one owes you anything.

Don't be ungrateful. Remember that no one owes you anything. Through the prism of this knowledge, perceive everything that is done FOR YOU.

You don't owe anyone anything either. You are free to choose your obligations. You are not the property of your parents, loved ones, loved ones, or anyone else. You did not come into this world to meet anyone’s expectations.

There are no circumstances that would make a person a Victim of circumstances - unless the person himself recognizes them. Man is always free and always free to make choices.

Don't try to teach someone about life. We've already tried it before, believe me. To no avail.

Don't accumulate irritation. If you don’t like something, don’t be silent, say so. But correctly and without emotion. Be constructive.

You cannot criticize a person, you can only criticize his actions. He is not bad, but he acted incorrectly (not the way you wanted?).

You can't do good work with someone else's hands. Before you curse, try it yourself.

Don't waste your time on uninteresting people. Life is passing.

From a person’s words about someone, one can draw more conclusions about him or herself than about the “subject” of discussion. Keep this in mind when you speak. Know this when you listen.

Do not act out of stubbornness purely in defiance of other people - this is irrational.

Don't judge a person by some part of his life. Remember that you don't know the WHOLE picture. Don't be hasty or short-sighted in your assessments.

Being offended is not constructive. Resentment is a statement to another person (or, even funnier, circumstances!) that he does not meet your expectations and is therefore an asshole.

Look for what brings you closer to your interlocutor.

Dispute is the fate of fools. You are fool?

Often “bad” just means “different from me, different.” Do not forget.

If something is important to you, please let me know. If you didn't warn me, you can only scold yourself.

If you are so smart that you noticed a mistake or inaccuracy of your interlocutor, maybe you are also smart enough to keep this discovery to yourself?

When you want to talk shit (tell this freak everything, put him in his place, show these idiots who the fuck is, kick that pig with his feet...) - take a deep breath and tell yourself: “I am enlightened. I have already achieved perfection. I'm above this." Helps...

Try not to slander anyone for a week - neither out loud nor to yourself. Very difficult. Very interesting.

Don't hit the victim. The more he has lost, the more emotional support he has the right to count on.

The phrase “I love you” denotes very different states and very different obligations for everyone. Feel free to find out exactly what it is before you get too euphoric. Save your head from destruction. Love is a dream, but before you fall asleep, make sure you're not in a muddy puddle.

The fact that you love a person seems to imply that you want him to be happy. However, are you sure that your love always makes this person happy? Sometimes wishing you happiness is just leaving you alone!

Whatever you do, the amount of good in the world must increase
clever.72