How to increase your self-esteem. Women's self-esteem: how to regain self-esteem? Prejudiced criticism, accusations, insults

Greetings, friends!

If you are now thinking about how to increase your self-esteem, then you are the creator of your own life. Having realized the problem, you did not come to terms with it and did not put it off “for later”, but now look for ways to solve it and are ready to work hard. I am proud of you.

Your attitude, as well as our most effective tips for increasing self-esteem, carefully collected in this article, will help solve this problem once and for all. Only I ask you not just to read the article, but put into practice at least some of the recommendations available here, and you will very quickly be able to feel positive changes in terms of self-esteem. Well, are you ready? Then we start in order.

What is self-esteem?

This term is usually called general human perception own abilities, capabilities and personal qualities. It does not always exactly coincide with real possibilities, but often becomes the main factor in life success. Therefore, any person experiencing problems with self-esteem must work to improve it properly.

Self-esteem performs several important functions, the main ones being:

• protection – internal autonomy, the ability to form one’s own opinion and not be influenced by others;
• regulation – the ability to make informed personal choices;
• development – ​​the desire for self-improvement.

It is important to understand that low self-esteem is formed in a person not only because of real shortcomings. She is influenced by the opinions of others (from immediate family to colleagues and comrades). If it is underestimated, the person spends an excessive amount of energy for doubts does not take on ambitious projects, does not believe in himself. If it is too high, there is a risk of making mistakes, since excessive self-confidence causes a person to lose caution. To understand how to increase self-esteem, you need to understand how it is formed and what factors influence it.

How self-esteem is formed

The ability to adequately assess one’s own strengths and weak sides is formed in a person from childhood. Excessive demands and strictness of parents or neglectful attitude of friends can have long-lasting consequences. As a result, a person grows up, gets an education, gets a job and starts a family, and the need to constantly prove something to those around him persists and negatively affects the quality of life.

Friends and loved ones also continuously influence self-esteem - a dear person can instantly raise it or lower it. Criticism directed at oneself is especially painful, inevitably decreasing self-confidence(both in the short term and in the long term). In addition, we ourselves often become the source of uncertainty. By focusing on failure, we come to disappointing conclusions and engage in self-criticism, reducing our own initiative.

An equally common source of low self-esteem is negative experiences from childhood or a consequence of psychological problems Initially, it is formed due to certain characteristics of upbringing and norms of behavior imposed on the child by the parents. Further, the perception of one’s own attractiveness, sporting success and different abilities. All events that occur that force a person to rethink his own value affect his self-esteem. And from a certain moment it begins to play a decisive role in life, forcing a person to give up ambitions. To overcome this vicious cycle, you need to actively work on improving your self-esteem. Let's continue.

How to determine that self-esteem is low?

Typically, the following character traits indicate the need to work on improving self-esteem:

• excessive self-criticism when making harmless mistakes;
• fear of mistakes and constant worry over little things;
• increased sensitivity to other people's opinions about oneself;
• unreasonable jealousy due to lack of self-confidence;
• envy of successful people;
• constant search for excuses;
• pessimism and negative perception of events.

Even one of the listed character traits indicates a noticeable lack of self-confidence. If you find several items from this list, you urgently need to increase your self-esteem in all available ways.

Why does self-esteem decrease?

Before we start working on increasing self-esteem, let's understand the main reasons that provoke its decline. As they say, forewarned is forearmed. What are these factors?

One of the main reasons for decreased self-esteem in modern life is a tendency to “self-examination.” A person constantly analyzes his failures, compares himself to other people. He chooses smart, successful and attractive people as role models. And comparing himself with them, he begins to consider himself a failure. Of course, the habit of comparing yourself with more successful peers can help some people and increase their productivity. But for most it turns around a huge blow to one's self-esteem.

For girls and women the most important factor One thing that can lower or increase self-esteem is appearance. The situation has become especially worse in our time. If yesterday beautiful, almost perfect faces looked at us only from glossy pages, today they are in every profile social network. This has a negative effect on many girls. And even the opportunity to publish your own photo, “photoshopped” to perfection, does not correct this situation.

There is another factor that almost everyone has been exposed to. This experience of defeat. When faced with a strong failure, a person becomes fixated on the situation. He replays the unpleasant event over and over again in his thoughts, figuring out what he should have done to avoid failure. Do you know this feeling? Literally stuck in the past, a person loses control over the present and future.

There are other factors as well. For example, communicating with people seeking increase your own self-esteem at someone else's expense. Perfectionism, which inevitably increases the fear of failure, is also a bad help. We have listed the most noticeable reasons, in fact there are many more, but let’s not waste time. Let's move on to the main part of our article.

Simple ways to increase self-esteem

As mentioned earlier, self-esteem can and should be influenced. Of course, you will have to work hard, but believe me, the result is worth it. Harmonious self-esteem makes a person more confident, positive and, most importantly, happy. Well, are you ready to work on your self-esteem? Then let's get started. Here's our plan:

Find the root of the problem

Low self-esteem is not genetically embedded in us - it develops under the influence of external factors. To understand how to increase it, you need to figure out what caused the problem. For example, if problems with self-perception are associated with excess weight, you need to remember when the disturbing thoughts associated with this first arose. Perhaps one of your friends joked about this topic, and it was unpleasant for you? In any case, all further work will be much more effective when you clearly understand the reason for low self-esteem and the moment when you lost self-confidence.

Get rid of self-criticism

All people make mistakes, and it is not at all necessary to reproach yourself for every failure. Getting rid of self-criticism will give you several benefits in life:

1. Energy that was previously spent on self-flagellation will be released;
2. You will learn to accept yourself and be able to focus on achieving your goals;
3. Will appear and come out foreground strengths of your personality.

By learning to deal with failures creatively and without self-blame, you can benefit from them. This will be a valuable experience, and in some cases you can even turn the mistake to your advantage.

What is needed for this? First, no matter how bad the situation gets, remember - it could have been much worse. And everything turned out not in the worst way only thanks to your efforts and experience. Also, think about how many people in your position would not be able to learn a valuable lesson from the current situation because they lack the strength of character but you can. Do this and gain a sense of self-respect for yourself, because failures will no longer break you, but will only make you stronger.

In addition to self-criticism, it is important to be able to firmly respond to criticism from others. We have already covered this important topic in detail, so we move on.

Learn to see failure as an important learning experience.

As we have already said, failures can take a big toll on self-esteem. But let's agree once and for all: every painful mistake is a valuable life lesson. Analyze it. Be sure to think about what to do to avoid similar mistakes in the future, how you can use the experience gained and what benefits can be derived.

Try to look at yourself from the outside, as you would look at a dear person who finds himself in a similar situation. You wouldn't blame him, would you? This means you shouldn’t blame yourself.

Keep a success diary

A success journal is a must-have tool for anyone looking to improve their self-esteem. Having lost confidence in himself, a person automatically begins to attach maximum importance to his own mistakes, ignoring successes and praise. It's time to reverse this trend. Start writing down your own achievements, praise from others, and things you yourself are satisfied with. Learn more about how to keep a success diary.

Praise yourself more often

Self-criticism and self-examination are bad habits. So why not push them out good habit– the ability to praise yourself for small victories? Just notice each of your successes and analyze which character trait helped you achieve it. This method will help not only increase self-esteem, but also develop useful abilities that make you more successful.

But we are not talking about banal praise, in the spirit of “you did great.” For this to have an effect, you need to try to regularly analyze the actions you perform. For example, let's say you set a goal to start getting up a little earlier every day. And so, the next day You did it. Think about the fact that thousands of people on this planet cannot train themselves to get up earlier for years, but you were able to do it in one day. Yes, you are a hero, you can safely be proud of yourself! Make it a habit to analyze your achievements regularly in this way - think about how strong in spirit you really are and how much you can do.

Learn to say “NO!”

Low self-esteem and submissive reliability are linked by a mutual cause-and-effect relationship. who put their interests above yours. Becoming firm and answering “No!” to unwanted offers, you will automatically increase your own self-esteem. You will begin to respect yourself more, realize that you know how to defend your boundaries, and this is the foundation of a harmonious personality.

Create a positive environment for yourself

Avoid negative people They recommend it for a reason. They notice every unpleasant little thing and remind you of it. Try to surround yourself with positive people who prefer to notice the good. Of course, it is not always possible to follow this advice, since a close relative may turn out to be “negative.” In this case, regularly remind him that you do not want negativity to be present in communication. Let him learn to control himself. Don’t be afraid to tell people what they may not like to hear, be afraid to hush up such things.

Play some sports

You don't have to exhaust yourself with workouts in the gym. A daily 20-minute jog or an hour-long walk will significantly improve your tone and improve your mood. Don't be afraid to spend time on sports. Any person who gets carried away by regular jogging or other exercise quickly notices that they have even more free time. The secret is that sport gives a powerful boost of energy, helping you do everything faster.

Get out of your comfort zone

Under the weight of problems, a person becomes dependent on his own weaknesses, which give him a feeling of comfort. Sweets, baked goods, TV series, games, alcohol and other methods of self-comfort help to briefly escape from problems into a cozy inner world. That's just the problem at this time are not resolved, but only accumulate. Subconsciously, a person realizes that he is hiding from reality, so his self-esteem inevitably decreases. And there is only one way to quickly and effectively increase it - and begin to actively solve the accumulated problems.

Start Using Affirmations

Positive affirmations are a technique from psychology that can increase self-esteem even for a person who considers himself the ultimate loser. These are small statements containing positive attitudes in the style of “I am strong enough to achieve everything I want!” You can find them in text form or in audio recording. Read them out loud, memorize them, listen to them while jogging. These settings are remembered, and gradually you will begin to remember them in any life situation when it is needed.

What will work on self-esteem give?

Well, my friends, I hope you have already begun to put into practice the knowledge you have acquired, or you will definitely try to do this in the near future. In order for you to definitely succeed in increasing your self-esteem, let’s consolidate your motivation and consider what qualities a person with positive self-esteem has:

• confident in one's own abilities;
• knows his strengths and uses them;
• knows his weaknesses and accepts them;
• does not look for excuses for his actions;
• does not need the approval of others;
• immune to criticism;
• does not judge people by appearance;
• does not experience unnecessary anxiety or stress because he is confident in himself.

This is only a partial list of what qualities a person has who has worked on improving self-esteem. In my opinion, it’s worth it to grow and develop in this direction, don’t you agree?

Conclusion

My friends, of course, there is no single recipe for increasing self-esteem that would suit absolutely everyone. But after carefully studying the recommendations in this article, you will surely find a technique that will be effective for you. Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you.

Having high self-esteem is, of course, good, but achieving it is not so easy. Part of the problem is that this indicator is unstable: one day it can skyrocket, and the next it can drop to nowhere. The situation is even more complicated when we try to evaluate ourselves in specific areas of life (family, sports, work). For example, if dinner is not tasty enough, a chef will be much more upset than a person for whom cooking is not an important aspect of his identity.

It is important to know when to stop: high self-esteem can make a person very vulnerable. He will feel great most of the time, but any criticism will cause a strong reaction. And this slows down a lot psychological development person.

If you are still very far from such problems and would like to increase your own self-esteem, then follow our advice.

1. Use affirmations correctly

Self-hypnosis formulas are very popular, but they have a significant drawback. They often make people with low self-esteem feel even worse. Why? When self-esteem is low, statements like “I will be a huge success!” strongly contradict a person’s inner beliefs.

Oddly enough, affirmations most often work for people who already have good self-esteem.

But how can you make them work for you if your self-esteem leaves much to be desired? Pronounce more believable formulas. For example, instead of “I will achieve great success!” Tell yourself, “I will try my best until I achieve what I want.”

2. Identify your areas of expertise and develop them

Self-esteem is based on actual achievements in those areas of life that are important to you. If you feel proud of yourself when you cook a delicious dinner, invite guests over often and treat them to something delicious. If you are a good runner, apply for and train for a competition. Determine what areas you are competent in and look for opportunities to highlight them.

3. Learn to accept compliments

People with low self-esteem desperately need compliments, but at the same time do not know how to respond to them correctly.

Accept compliments even if they make you feel awkward.

The best way to avoid the knee-jerk reaction of denying all the good things people say about you is to prepare a simple set of responses and practice saying them automatically every time you receive a compliment. For example, say “Thank you!” or “That’s so nice of you.” Over time, the desire to deny compliments will disappear, and this is a clear indicator that your self-esteem is rising.

4. Stop criticizing yourself, be gentler

If you constantly criticize yourself, your self-esteem becomes even lower. To bring back the feeling self-esteem, it is necessary to replace criticism with self-compassion.

Every time you are unhappy with yourself, ask yourself what you would say to your best friend in that situation. As a rule, we feel more compassion for our friends than for ourselves. But if you learn to encourage yourself in difficult circumstances, you can avoid lowering your self-esteem due to a critical attitude.

5. Convince yourself of your worth.

The following exercise will help you restore your self-esteem after it has been severely damaged.

Make a list of your qualities that are important in the context of the situation. For example, if you are refused a date, make a list of qualities that will help you create a good relationship in the long term (tolerance, caring, emotionality). If you were unable to get a promotion at work, indicate the traits that make you a valuable employee (responsibility, hard work, creativity). Then select one of the items on the list and briefly explain why you are proud of this quality and why it will be appreciated by others in the future.

Try this exercise once a week or whenever you need a boost to your self-esteem.

There are many distinctive qualities that are inherent in confident women.

Such representatives of the fair sex arouse the admiration of men and the envy of rivals.

Self-confidence in this case does not mean external beauty, but internal energy. Some character traits of such women are misunderstood.

For example, most representatives of the fair sex believe that self-confidence is identical with independence, but independence in turn implies, but a strong woman can never be lonely.

Signs of a woman with high self-esteem and self-confidence:

Causes of low self-esteem

Provoke low self-esteem A woman may have numerous factors that relate to childhood, adolescence, life experience and exposure to traumatic situations. Excessive self-criticism and lack of self-love always has a specific reason.

It is imperative to identify this negative factor. Otherwise, it will be extremely difficult to do the work to improve self-esteem.

Possible reasons The following factors can cause low self-esteem in women:

Reasons for low self-esteem in girls:

What methods will help in the formation of adequate self-esteem?

To increase a woman's self-esteem, she can use several techniques. The best option is contacting a psychologist.

A specialist will be able to identify the reasons for an overly critical attitude towards oneself, draw up individual program work on the subconscious and correctly select the necessary methods of influence.

You can try to implement this work on one's own.

How to get rid of low self-esteem? Basic techniques:

• work on yourself and your worldview;
• improvement of personal qualities;
• self-development and knowledge of new areas of life;
• reading psychological literature;
• expanding your horizons and intelligence.

Books

If a woman is afraid to contact a psychologist, then she can find out information about ways to raise self-esteem from specialized literature. Many sources are devoted to this problem. You can take as a basis the recommendations of psychologists that are freely available on the Internet (scientific articles, forums, etc.).

Which book should I buy? Examples of books in psychology:

Having studied the basics, you can develop your own techniques that will help you become a representative of the fair sex, who does not doubt her effectiveness and is confident in her abilities.

What is the fear of being touched by strangers called? find out right now.

How to love yourself and increase self-esteem? Find out from the video:

What can you do at home?

Ways to increase self-confidence at home:

I'm afraid of relationships with men: what should I do? you will find on our website.

Training

Training to increase a woman’s self-esteem includes four main directions- developing confidence in communicating with people around you, in your external and internal attractiveness, in being in society and in different types of relationships (love, professional, etc.). The result of the program is achieved through the implementation of certain stages.

Training stages to increase self-esteem in a woman:

Courses

Exists many courses, helping to cope with various psychological problems. Increasing self-esteem for women is no exception.

Specialists use programs developed by leading psychologists and conduct not only group but also individual sessions.

Such courses operate in many cities. An analogue of such programs is sign up for a consultation to a psychologist.

How to gain self-confidence? Adviсe:

How to become daring and confident?

Insolence considered one of distinctive features a woman who is confident in herself.

This concept should not be confused with bitchiness and impudence.

A strong representative of the fair sex is always kind to others.

Arrogance and bitchiness do not imply such qualities. To develop the right audacity requires long-term work on oneself. A woman who is confident in herself always defends her point of view, but does it tactfully.

Advice from psychologists on increasing self-esteem in different situations:

When increasing self-esteem, it is important to understand that the process of self-development is endless. You cannot become an ideal in a certain period of time, but you can significantly improve your personal qualities by changing not only your own attitude towards yourself, but also the opinions of the people around you.

A woman should always engage in self-development. Having achieved some goals, it is necessary to set new goals.

His betrayal and your self-esteem. What to do? Find out from the video:

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Self-esteem. What it is? Can we say that self-esteem determines who we are, our lives, the relationships we build with others, our professional achievements? Of course yes! Self-esteem helps us solve everyday problems and make decisions. How we cope with difficulties and interact with other people affects our sense of self.

Many people throughout their lives strive for false ways to increase their self-esteem, hiding behind expensive things, striving for an ideal figure. If you think for a second and remember some famous and successful personalities who were seen in simple clothes and hardly looked like they were successful, more like “hipsters”. It is unlikely that they suffer from low self-esteem, because their bank account says otherwise.

Everything comes from our consciousness and subconscious, from how and what we think about and what feelings we experience at this moment.

Of course, our physical health also plays an important role. The way we eat, whether we exercise. After all, if we feel unwell, we are unlikely to be confident in everything.

1. Fear.

Often, before making a decision, we experience fear. Fear protects our body from danger, leaving us in the comfort zone, as a result of which we do not dare to change anything. Everyone dreams of something that they can’t begin to do; someone has always wanted to learn how to snowboard or open their own culinary business, and perhaps even have a child. But at the stage of thinking about this, we already experience fear, although we have not even taken a step towards realizing what we planned.

One of the first goals on the path to increasing self-esteem is to get rid of fear.

Sit at home in a quiet room, relax and think about your fear. Think of it like a picture in a frame. Then imagine how this picture moves away from you and becomes less and less noticeable, ultimately turning into a point that disappears altogether.

The next way to get rid of fear is to feel the insignificance of fear, and also that it does not deserve your worries. And then erase this picture with your hand, as if you were rubbing your hand over a foggy window.

2. Flexibility of character.

Develop the flexibility of your character. Everyone has probably noticed an acute reaction to a minor incident - for example, friends decide to cancel a meeting in last minute. Scientists believe that this comes from our childhood. To begin, clearly define in what cases you begin to overreact. Are the circumstances so dire that one would react this way? Is this situation worth reacting so sharply? If these questions make you feel defensive, then you are indeed overreacting to the situation. The first step towards overcoming such reactions is to recognize their essence and understand what in your past caused them. Another way is to intentionally, consciously change your habits. Ask yourself how committed you are to your usual plans. Can you take a different route from work? Or go to the store on Wednesday, and not on Thursday, as usual? Can you change your plans without getting disoriented? This is your chance to become more flexible. Flexibility in one area gives you the opportunity to develop flexibility in other areas.

3. Set tasks for yourself and solve them.

Set realistic goals for yourself and achieve them. Choose the most important ones from your daily routine and solve them. You will experience a feeling of satisfaction and ease if you start with the most difficult tasks and gradually move towards easier ones. Perhaps success will not always be, but this should not depress you; on the contrary, remember the tasks that you have already completed. Feel confident that you can achieve everything (“the foundation was poured, the walls were installed, the ceiling remains, but there are not enough resources. It’s okay. But how quickly the foundation was poured and how well everything else was done”). Always think about what you are good at. If something works out, then you deserve it. Self-confidence will come when you realize that the assigned tasks have been completed, even if they were small and simple.

How to learn to value yourself?

Each of us is a unique personality, each has a certain set of personal qualities, skills, and achievements. Everyone perceives the world differently. In order to notice your uniqueness and enjoy it every day, write down on a piece of paper everything that you consider to be the best about yourself. These could be beautiful eyes or certain professional achievements (“I have a lot of experience in a certain field”), as well as character traits (“responsive”, “I know how to listen”). If you think of something you don't like, don't write it down. Don’t limit yourself to one day; constantly re-read and add to the list.

You can also ask your loved ones about how and under what situation they could turn to you as a specialist, a person with experience. Write this down and read it periodically. This will give you confidence and peace of mind that there are people you can turn to for support.

4. Find something that gives you strength and confidence.

Perhaps it’s a yoga class or a walk along the embankment, or maybe it’s minutes spent reading your favorite book, or just pleasant memories that fill you with a sense of satisfaction, after which you feel a surge of strength and joy.

Fill your life with colors. Don't leave your gold-plated service for the holidays, take it out and use it every day, enjoying its beauty.

Also, psychologists advise developing what gives you strength and confidence. If you are not good at foreign languages ​​(and you have already signed up for courses in foreign language) and at the same time you are depressed, the success of others can only aggravate your condition. Instead, focus on what works best for you. Awareness of your own mastery increases your self-confidence due to the positive emotions you experience (pride, joy, lightness of mind).

5. Preserve and emphasize your uniqueness.

There is no need to drown in your husband's problems and worries about your children. You can love a person, perform various “feats” for him and get pleasure from it, but you cannot live for him, and he cannot live for you. Your loved one fell in love with you for who you are, do not lose your uniqueness and individuality.

Now you know how to raise a woman’s self-esteem! If you have your own methods, then share them in the comments!

Video from a professional psychologist on how to increase self-esteem. Where do legs grow from and how to deal with it?

The world around us is a mirror for every person, reflecting his own inner world. This means that your vision of the world depends on your own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, attitudes. Another important component of relationships in society is a person’s self-image, his own assessment of his personality.

The formation of self-esteem is influenced by various factors, among which we can highlight upbringing, social environment, characteristics professional activity. Oscar Wilde said that self-love means a lifelong romance. And this is true, because an individual feeling of happiness, peace and well-being of a person is possible only with an adequate assessment of oneself as a significant person and acceptance of one’s individuality. To learn how to increase your self-esteem and find specific ways to increase your self-esteem, listen to the advice of a psychologist and try doing exercises aimed at increasing your self-esteem.

How we evaluate ourselves

American psychotherapist K. Rogers, the author of the famous client-centered psychotherapy, believed that the main component of the personality structure is the “Self-concept” - a person’s idea of ​​himself, which is formed in the process of socialization, in other words, in his interaction with society. This process involves the internalization mechanism—the acceptance of other people’s assessments of one’s personality as one’s own—as well as the identification mechanism—the ability to put oneself in the place of another person and thus evaluate one’s personality.

Each person at birth has a personal phenomenal field - an empty space of life experience. In progress individual development this field is filled, the person’s personal “I” begins to appear, and his “I-concept” is formed. Rogers believed that the final point of personal development is self-actualization - the realization of all potential possibilities.

Self-esteem is a central component of the “I-concept”, because it is a person’s rational assessment of himself, his capabilities and qualities that gives real opportunity achieve your goals. Self-esteem performs a protective and regulatory function, influences relationships with other people, behavior and human development. Self-criticism and demands on oneself depend on it. Self-esteem is the basis of a person’s attitude towards his successes and failures, the choice of goals of a certain level of complexity, which characterizes the level of a person’s aspirations.

We can distinguish specific types of self-esteem, based on its individual characteristics:

• Reality: adequate and inadequate self-esteem (low or high). Adequate self-esteem allows a person to treat himself critically, to correctly assess his strengths and capabilities. Inadequate self-esteem manifests itself in overestimating or underestimating one’s strengths and capabilities.
• Time: retrospective, current and prognostic. The first characterizes a person’s assessment of his past experience, the second characterizes his current capabilities, and the last characterizes a person’s opinion about his possible successes or failures.
• Level: high, medium and low. The level of self-esteem itself is not so important, because in different situations and areas of activity self-esteem can be both low and high. For example, a person is competent in the field of finance and has high level self-esteem in this area, but he does not know how to manage household chores and rates himself rather low in this matter. High either low level self-esteem does not play a key role; first of all, it must be adequate.

The famous American psychologist W. James proposed determining the level of self-esteem using the formula:

Self-esteem = Success/Level of aspirations

Level of aspiration- this is the upper limit of a person’s achievements to which he strives. This may include different types success: career, personal life, social status, material well-being.

Success is a specific accomplished fact, specific achievements from the list of aspirations of an individual.

Obviously, psychology offers two ways to increase self-esteem:

• reduce the level of claims;
• or increase the efficiency and effectiveness of your own actions.

The level of aspirations is influenced by various successes and failures in a person’s life. If the level of aspirations is adequate, a person sets realistically achievable goals. A person with a high adequate level of aspirations is able to set fairly high goals knowing that he can successfully achieve them. Moderate, or average level aspiration means that a person is able to cope well with tasks of an average level of complexity and at the same time does not want to increase his results. A low and even low level of aspirations is typical for a person who is not too ambitious and who sets fairly simple goals. This choice is explained either by low self-esteem or by “social cunning.” Psychology explains the latter as a conscious avoidance of complex tasks and responsible decisions.

Self-esteem is formed in childhood when a person’s capabilities are in a state of development. It is for this reason that an adult’s self-esteem is often underestimated when actual capabilities are much higher than personal ideas about them. Having understood the features of the formation of self-esteem and its types, it becomes obvious that working with this component of personality means precisely raising self-esteem to an adequate level.

Raising self-esteem is not an easy process, but there are no limits to a person’s capabilities. You will be given effective advice from a psychologist on how to raise your self-esteem, among which you will also find effective exercises.

Tip #1. You shouldn't compare yourself to other people. There will always be people around you who will be worse or better than you in various aspects. Constant comparison will simply lead you into a blind corner, where over time you can not only gain low self-esteem, but also completely lose self-confidence. Remember, you are a unique individual, find your strengths and weaknesses and learn to use them depending on the situation.

Exercises: Write a list of your goals and the positive qualities that will help you achieve those goals. Also create a list of qualities that are a barrier to achieving your goals. This way you will understand that your failures are a consequence of your actions, and your personality has nothing to do with it.

Tip #2. Stop looking for flaws in yourself and scolding yourself. All great people have achieved heights in their field by learning from their own mistakes. The main principle is that a mistake forces you to choose a new strategy of action, increase efficiency, and not give up.

Exercises: Take a piece of paper, colored pencils and draw yourself the way you want to see yourself, with all the attributes of success. You can also come up with and depict a personal symbol of success. Drawing will help you better express your desires and increase your confidence.

Tip #3. Always accept other people's compliments with gratitude. Instead of “no need”, answer “thank you”. With this response, human psychology accepts this assessment of one’s personality, and it becomes its integral attribute.

Exercises: try using special statements (affirmations). Several times during the course of the day (at the beginning of the day, it is necessary) clearly and thoughtfully pronounce the phrases “I am a unique, unique person,” “I can achieve this goal,” “I have all the necessary qualities.”

Tip #4. Change your social circle. Our social environment has a key influence on lowering or increasing self-esteem. Positive people who are able to give constructive criticism, adequately assess your abilities and increase your confidence should become your constant companions. Try to constantly expand your social circle and meet new people.

Tip #5. Live by your own desires. People who constantly do what others ask of them will never learn how to improve their self-esteem. They are used to following other people's goals, living a life that is not their own. Do what you enjoy. Work where you feel respected and where you can realize your abilities. Try to travel more, make your old dreams come true, don’t be afraid to take risks and experiment.

Exercises: Make a list of your desires and make them realistic goals. Write down step by step what you need to do to achieve these goals and start moving in the chosen direction. You can also create a route for your next trip, make it unusual. If you usually go to the sea, then this time go hiking in the mountains. You may not even be aware of your own capabilities because you have never tried to leave your “comfort zone.”