What does it mean to have a sense of dignity? Self-esteem - what is it?

“His heart rate is clearly too high,” “You don’t value yourself, you deserve much more,” you can hear out of the corner of your ear or directly addressed to you. What kind of CSD is this? Self-esteem, which shows how much a person respects, values ​​and loves himself. It also determines the level of aspirations, and indeed activity in life, its very content and success. Self-esteem can be inadequate (overestimated or underestimated) and adequate, but it cannot but exist.

Self-esteem (SSD) is significantly associated with. But this is not the only component and not its synonym. ChSD is a complex system of interdependent. In addition to self-esteem, self-perception and other products of the self also contribute: self-esteem, self-awareness. Roughly speaking, self-esteem is the result of a person’s assessment of his own importance and worth.

Accordingly, this comes out of self-knowledge, healthy. But what is self-knowledge? Getting a person to know himself (with all his strengths and weaknesses, innate characteristics) and identifying interests, forming his own worldview. However, is this based solely on self-esteem and self-analysis? No. From birth, the child perceives himself as adults see him, which they readily express through: “what a good boy”, “you are bad, unhearing”, “you can’t do anything”, “you can’t be relied on”, “you are my support in life”. life." Using these phrases as an example, which of them do you think will form adequate self-esteem and an adequate heart rate, and which will form an underestimated one?

Low self-esteem is based on inadequate criticism and demands, humiliation, insults, coercion from the environment, smoothly turning into elements. As for the inflated FSN, its roots are the god complex, permissiveness, and the “idol of the family.”

A sense of personal dignity consists not only of a sense of one’s own value, but also of the value of everything that is directly related to the individual:

• family;
• partner in a relationship;
• Job;
• hobbies;
• Friends;
• hobby;
• interests.

Some elements depend on us, this is directly our choice, and some do not. For example, by humiliating his partner, a person humiliates himself, because being in a relationship with this person is his choice. But no one chooses the family into which to be born. Therefore, it is wrong to humiliate yourself because of your parents’ unworthy lifestyle.

Risks of inadequate heart rate

First of all, among the risks, it is worth talking about humiliation. With a low sense of self-esteem, a person allows himself to be humiliated, and with an overestimated sense of self-esteem, he humiliates other people. Naturally, this deteriorates relationships with others. In addition, with an overestimated heart rate, a person suffers from disappointments. If it is underestimated, it occupies money, suffers from self-flagellation, failure and unhappiness in life.

Surely you are familiar with this evaluation system: “This is below my dignity” / “I am not worthy of this.” However, both of these statements can be either adequate or inadequate. It all depends on the context. But the situation is further aggravated by the difference in interpretation of who a “worthy person” is. There is no single measure of human dignity. Therefore, you should focus on the beliefs and values ​​of a particular society, reference group and your own internal attitudes. Someone defines dignity social status, someone, someone by socially useful deeds, and someone takes into account all three components or calls the fourth criterion.

Self-esteem also comes with responsibility. Namely, the responsibility for maintaining one’s dignity and avoiding actions that deprive one of self-respect. The border of the affected CSD is . A blow to self-esteem and shame from what happened is a common reason for victims to remain silent about rape and beatings. Some people are especially vulnerable; even everyday troubles can hurt their dignity. The result is the same - shame, humiliation, isolation. And if the values ​​that determine self-esteem differ from person to person, from culture to culture and from society to society, then the shame of loss of dignity is inevitable for everyone.

How to raise CHSD

The development of self-esteem and self-awareness, and therefore a sense of significance, depends on the nature of the child’s relationship with his mother. With good mutual understanding (understanding the child’s needs, attention and communication, providing independence in choosing actions and privacy), healthy self-esteem is formed. The development of self-awareness and self-esteem depends on respect for the child’s personal space (everyone needs this from birth; the child must be alone in front of the mother’s eyes, under her control).

Due to the mother's anxiety about losing control over the child and the need to regularly receive love from the child, sometimes the baby is completely deprived of free time and the opportunity to realize himself. With anxious mothers and in overprotective families, children grow up passive, uninitiative, and dependent.

So, self-esteem stems from the relationship between the child and mother in early childhood. The following scenarios are popular:

1. When a child is given personal space in the presence of his mother (another significant adult), he develops the attitude: “I have the right to mind my own affairs. I can be myself even in the company of other people. I don’t have to constantly interact with someone and I don’t have to impose.”
2. With overprotection, the child receives the instruction: “Everything must be strictly under control. Independence and spontaneity are not allowed. It is my responsibility to continually demonstrate my care and love for others.”
3. In a situation where the mother expresses her dissatisfaction and the inability to deal with personal affairs, forced communication with the child, he develops the attitude: “I need to be grateful that someone even wants to communicate with me and spend time. Someday I'll be left alone. I always bother others."
4. When a mother indulges her child and treats her as an idol, the attitude is formed: “Everyone owes me for spending time with them. I can get whatever I want for the very fact of my existence.”

In the first case, self-esteem is developed adequately, in the second and third cases - a low sense of self-esteem. In the fourth case - an inflated sense of self-esteem. Accordingly, self-esteem is adequate, underestimated and overestimated (in the same order).

A child’s self-rejection at an early stage of development causes a deficit of self-esteem in the future. Accordingly, self-acceptance builds healthy self-esteem.

Restoration and preservation of heart rate

Adequate self-esteem is essential for human survival and... However, even correct self-love and self-respect are perceived by some people as boasting and arrogance.

As we found out, self-esteem begins to form in childhood. In psychotherapy, as a rule, it turns out that for the first time a person heard an assessment of his own worthlessness in childhood from a significant adult, and a little later he subconsciously accepted this as his own opinion.

Identification with the aggressor - in which the victim “whitens” the image of the aggressor. In this case, we are talking about primary independent self-humiliation and self-condemnation, unpleasant statements addressed to oneself by the victim before the aggressor does it (or would do it in the victim’s mind).

How to understand own feeling dignity? First of all, answer two questions:

• What am I proud of about myself?
• What aspects of my personality and life would I like to hide?

Additionally, you can note what values ​​and guidelines prevail in society and a certain group. How do they relate to the previous answers? Sometimes it turns out that both a reason for pride and a subject of mystery are one and the same. How is this possible? When the development situation does not correspond to the realities and characteristics of the individual, it infringes on it.

The work of preserving and restoring self-esteem involves sorting out the “mess” in your head into conscious and subconscious, distinguishing between your own judgments and those of others from the outside. But only a professional psychoanalyst can carry out such work. The fact is that if there are obvious problems in self-esteem and signs, then independent “flashes” of rationality and clear perception of the situation will not be stable.

The goal of work to restore and maintain self-esteem is to receive and accept the real Self, separating it from all imposed and fictitious images:

1. The feeling that I exist. You need to realize your self, the very fact of the existence of a unique person with his own actions, reactions, thoughts and feelings.
2. Awareness of who I am. Working with self-esteem involves realizing and searching for what kind of person he is and how he lives. The importance of personality already follows from this.
3. Self-esteem is the value I place on my personality. If self-esteem is adequate, then I positively characterize my image. With low self-esteem, self-image is negative, causing self-deprecation and feelings of inferiority. The roots of self-esteem are always anchored in the subconscious.

How to independently adjust the heart rate? First of all, realize that you really need it. Without. With its help, regain self-love and unconditional respect, and then find something for which you can be proud of yourself. Don't try to please all people. Choose your criteria worthy person and listen to the opinions of significant others.

Learn to say “no” and make decisions based on your own beliefs. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone, do as you see fit.

Get rid of the craving for servility and (being abandoned, misunderstood, unaccepted, etc.).

Interact with people when you want to (or do so that you want to), and not under duress and for the sake of the status of a “worthy person”.

Recognize your rights and the rights of others to have different interests and desires. Exercise your right and do not interfere with others. Remember that personal interests do not always coincide, but every person has the right to satisfy them.

Set personal boundaries: what you will not allow in relation to yourself and what you yourself will never do in relation to other people. Maintain these boundaries unwaveringly.

Learn to speak sincerely and appropriately about your achievements and merits, do not be afraid of compliments, and do not be ashamed of your merits. Record your achievements, compare yourself exclusively with yourself. It is useful to make a collage of your life at home with all your plans and victories, the means to achieve your goal.

Self-esteem is not given at birth. This is a product of socialization, education, teaching, suggestion, copying models, self-education, and so on.

Thus, in order to correct and maintain self-esteem, you need to work with self-esteem, self-confidence, independence, success, inner peace and harmony. Self-esteem is an individual’s self-respect, a sense of value and significance. Under what conditions will you be valuable and meaningful to yourself? What do you value in people?

Still, it seems to me that even Bok Ja with her maid brains understood that just money did not satisfy her. She needed admiration for her elegance (which is not there), a thick wallet (which in the “highest” is not customary to openly show off, but how could she hide it if she had been winning it for so long), the obsequious attention of others (but who will give it to a rich, illiterate maid ) and, you’re right, a friend is nearby (but who would be friends with a former maid who managed to spit on everyone around her except Ah Jin).
It seems to me that Bok Ja is not smart, she is cunning in everyday life, she knows how to tame a man and squeeze all the money and fortune out of him, but how to manage it wisely is not given to her. No what you wrote about Ah Jin
After all, you could learn a lot for this money, but Bok Ja didn’t understand this. She saw only her ideal - Ah Jin, but could not copy it on her own.
I always think that if Bok Ja and Ah Jin were combined in one image, what kind of woman would they turn out to be! The intelligence, charm and dignity of Ah Jin and the mercantile aspirations of Bok Ja and the search for love and family. And I thought - but this will be the image of a classic adventuress, wandering in American films. No, the coconuts turned out to be much more interesting and deeper.
The long-awaited ending to this simply extraordinary drama. Two amazing actresses made this drama unforgettable. Now I have two favorite roles of Kim Sun Ah - in this drama and the unforgettable Kim Sam Soon. Kim Hee Sun simply blossomed as Ah Jin. Sheer grace, dignity and sound mind.
but when embarking on such an adventure, she had to be smarter in communicating in the family and in society. Is a simple maid capable of this? I think yes, I should have intuitively understood this. But she did not have enough patience and kindness (although what am I talking about when the idea was to rob the old man), or basic everyday cunning to establish relationships with the servants of the house, the children of this large family, with family members. Win as many people as possible over to your side. And the most fertile ground for this would be the children of the family. After all, she herself lived a difficult childhood, she should know how important well-being, peace and prosperity are at a young age. After all, you need to get an education (and it’s not cheap) and a start in adult life. You don’t have your own children, so put all your warmth into, although not your own, but actually grandchildren. I'm happy for Ah Jin - she simply revels in freedom, happiness with her daughter and her loved one. She is proud of her importance in society, her ability to support her family and her success in business.
"Everyone dreams of being happy. Everyone desires to have what they don't have. They think that's how they will be happy. But happiness brings light into your life when you actually let go of those desires." As Ah Jin always said, “I never wanted what didn’t belong to me.” To be happy, you need to balance your desires with your abilities and everyday circumstances. And then it will come. No, you need to dream, strive for more high goal, but still don’t forget about the present and be more practical.

Almost every person who comes to me for a consultation asks a question about his prosperity and, in particular, about the cash flow in his life, how to establish, strengthen this flow and never need anything else?

It is always very interesting to find together the root causes of a lack of finances, because they sometimes open up completely unexpected relationships and provide new knowledge about nature money energy!

After all, what is good about regression? This is an opportunity to immerse yourself with all your senses and bodies in living the experience directly, and not read about it in a book or even hear about it at a seminar. During regression, the Higher Self shows a person exactly his imbalance on this topic, and where and how the disqualification of divine energy arose, and what it ultimately led to. A person gains direct knowledge-experience-insight right now, and right now there is a positive change in his current life.

After all, what is energy of money? These are not just bills that you receive for the work you do. If you treat money this way, there will always be a shortage of it, because the essence is not understood by the person, and he walks around in a circle of misconceptions, tries to earn money, attract money by reading affirmations, joins various MLM structures, but does not get better! No prosperity, no feeling of well-being! Why?

But here it is interesting, because each individual person behind the topic of lack of finances or problems in this area may have his own specific unsolved problem, which may come from other incarnations.

One of the interesting examples of unexpected relationships money —self-esteem.

A young woman approached me with a request:

“What happened to my cash flow? It’s drying up day by day, the sources that previously generated income are no longer working, and some of the money is “frozen” in real estate that is no longer for sale for a long time. Complete blockage everywhere and she doesn't know what to do."

If such an uncompromising phenomenon happens in your life, do not put off resolving this issue, such an acute problem suggests that it is time to put aside all your affairs and resolve this issue immediately. The Higher Self brought you to it for a reason, and you have already refused to look more than once this way, but now there is an opportunity! Realize and change everything and, importantly, go to new levels of yourself!

After all, such situations appear only so that we remember something important, real about ourselves and unite with another precious part of ourselves!

So, she sees her incarnation...

Plague. Cholera. People are dying. Extinct city. There are many Angels of Sorrow and my client now looks at it like an angel, but she has a feeling that in the midst of this human calamity there is her in a human body.

He sees a young woman with flowing hair, very emaciated, emaciated. She's alive, but she's lost everything. Husband, family, household.

Let's look at a moment earlier, before the plague arrived in the city. Their family tried to leave, but it didn’t work out. Even earlier - this is a wealthy family, “Señora” sounds, we see a lady with a high hairstyle and in a dress, we hear the ringing of a bell. It feels like Spain.

I'm asking: “Was she happy with her condition and her life?”- because there was a feeling of some kind of lack, despite the wealth. Emptiness inside. Frequent visits to church, praying to the Virgin Mary for something.

An empty life, spending all day embroidering.

We look at the moment before marriage, when I was a young girl. (Here the client reports that her left side and heart are very painful.)

-Breathe there, direct the flow of love.

In youth there is also a feeling of emptiness, she is like a doll for putting dresses on.

We began to look for the moment where she was alive. This is childhood - we see a garden full of apples, she runs and plays there. What happened next that brought such emptiness?

The way of society. The client says that it was customary there to “become a lady” upon reaching a certain age. And in order to live up to your status, you had to kill your living emotional part.

Before incarnation, the soul is full of enthusiasm - “Now I’ll be incarnated, now I’ll be incarnated!”, looks at his future life and has no doubt that he will come and change everything there! Fill these dark places and prim families with light!

But having entered into embodiment, she forgot about it, of course.

Pronounces:

-I didn’t even know that wealth is such despondency!

Here I ask you to pay attention to the fact that she uttered a code phrase - "Wealth is despondency", which clearly works in her cells and consciousness as a program, preventing her from realizing her true wealth in life.

And indeed, in this incarnation she is a businesswoman, but she achieves only a certain prosperity, and then everything collapses.

This Wealth killed me as a soul.

There is a lot of pain in this incarnation.

— Hoop walks. Hoop-walks! This was my whole life! Life was so useless!- the girl exclaims. And I still hate embroidery.

- What about your money, did you have it?- I ask a question.

“I had them, but I couldn’t use them.”

Code phrase again! "I can't use my money even if I have it"

This explains the current situation of this incarnation: there is money, but it cannot be spent, and therefore the property is not for sale.

—Why couldn't she?

I just didn’t want to. Such an internal state that nothing is interesting or necessary. Not for anything.

Although she could go to the capital, she could travel.

What happened that led to such a state when the joy went away?

After all, the soul entered incarnation joyful and inspired?

We see - there was love. To an aristocratic neighbor. But they were not destined to be together, since dynastic marriages existed then.

We see their meeting and conversation in the stable. He is a gentleman in every way, very gallant. She is a teenage girl, she has a crush and admiration.

He does not love her and when they meet, he tries to gently explain to her the impossibility of their marriage.

At that moment, the girl chose to feel the grief of rejection.

- I buried myself then,- she says.

I felt pathetic, unwanted, rejected. Or rather, I chose to feel it. There was no point in living anymore.

—At that age I attached great importance to love great importance, she was like a way of my manifestation of myself, my self-realization. Well, it seemed to me in that consciousness that this was the only worthy goal.

Of course, I completely forgot about my sense of dignity then. Yes, it was a lesson in self-esteem not taught.

There she considered herself so unworthy, insignificant in herself (outside of feelings, outside of marriage, outside of love for someone) that she chose not to be herself.

And her life began to unfold accordingly, without a spark in her soul.

As a result, she later gets married, but without love and the children did not make her happy, nor did her condition. She wasn't interested in spending her money on herself because she left living essence her, her self-awareness that she deserves to live! She deserves to experience all the blessings of her life and enjoy them.

Well, the corresponding ending to her life, which we saw at the very beginning - cholera took away her entire family and she herself died in poverty and suffering.

A sad and useless life indeed.

At the same time, we looked at what kind of disease is cholera and where did it come from? It turned out that cholera is an unearthly disease, but brought from outside. They show the green shaggy entities that cause this disease, they have very strange world.

Why did they come to Earth? Dropped them off spaceship. They show getting out of the cage. It was an experiment to see how this form of life would take root on Earth. Who conducted this experiment? Feeling of a cold mind. High beings, but their minds are incomprehensible to humans.

And cholera was not defeated by vaccination; this idea always seemed untrue to me. Cholera, ulcers, plague - all these were experiments that have now been stopped. And now we begin to heal this incarnation!

My client is already having realizations and she is ready to change everything!

We choose with her to activate another strand of DNA, another version of her life, which will unfold with her other choice!

She feels how, having agreed to again remember what the divine dignity of herself is and accept it, blue, gentle and strong energy begins to flow into her cells. It straightens her body, she wants to straighten up, stand up to her full height, take a deep breath, smile! This energy gives her strength and wisdom at the same time.

So, after hearing her aristocrat’s refusal, she accepts it calmly. Accepts his choice with dignity, because she has it!

And he decides to go on a trip with his aunt. Her life is changing! We see balls, palaces, receptions! The girl travels and has fun. Life is an adventure! She meets someone like herself, a hardened dandy who travels with her.

From now on, her money, her wealth bring her joy and pleasure. Then we see - she is a lady in her house, married, children were born, and most importantly - she is happy, she is full of herself, and her wealth supports her in this.

The energy of such Negi flows, which fills all the cells of the body.

—Body cells are so funny! They accept any program I load into them!

That’s right, for the cells of the body we are God the creator, who creates their entire Universe, so we need to know very clearly what exactly we program our cells with.

The area of ​​the larynx was felt - it began to be freed now, and this is our center of truth. With an activated sense of one's divine dignity, one has the ability to always, in any situation, speak one's truth, gently and lovingly, but adamantly. As well as greater tolerance and neutrality towards the opinions of others.

pours in shining golden energy. This new energy money and prosperity!

The coccyx area is very noticeable. There this energy is prescribed as a support in the current incarnation.

- She shines through me! I'm like a guide again!

—Yes, and you are not only a guide. Together you can create, create and have fun! And there is also your wise part, which will subsequently direct this energy to good deeds.

“I just want to play and recover now.”

“I feel the coccyx area, it’s filling up. Some new feeling. So full!

And a new feeling appeared: "I have!It's very nice! I've never had such feelings before!"— the girl shares with delight. - “I now understand what it is like! How does it feel to have the right to be, to live, to enjoy this life in all its manifestations, including money!”

From this golden radiance we look at current life and the “problems” in it. And we see them resolved, closed. Things are done, issues are resolved. There is a feeling of peace inside and a smile on the lips: "Finally! Got out!"

What an interesting session it turned out to be, when the alignment of cash flow and healing came through awareness and acceptance of one’s divine dignity!

With Love and Dignity,

Do you have any self-esteem? Surely the answer will be in the affirmative. But is this really so? This quality is manifested not only in how you feel. It affects people's attitudes towards you and yours in general. It depends on him whether you can fulfill your desires.

What is self-esteem

Self-esteem is how a person feels about himself and his. This is a quality that has visible manifestations in behavior. It is reflected in a high assessment of one’s own and rights.

Self-respect is also put on a par with self-esteem. However, these concepts should not be confused. Self-esteem and self-respect. And CHSD is always connected with society.

A person with self-esteem has a number of characteristic features:

1. He behaves with restraint and dignity, which earns the respect of others.
2. Demands a lot from others. But he makes the same demands on himself.
3. Remembers his own and other people's personal boundaries. Does not violate them under any circumstances.
4. Always has a neat appearance.
5. Does not try to assert himself at the expense of other people. Knows and accepts his strengths, achievements, successes. without harming the dignity of others.
6. In any situation, it remains outwardly. Acts thoughtfully and decisively.
7. Doesn't waste time and energy on trifles. He is not prone to competition, does not follow the majority, and always has a personal opinion.
8. When making decisions, he is guided by his own convictions.

A person with high self-esteem has a strong, confident character. Next to him, people feel calm and safe.

In men

For a man, this quality presupposes an understanding of himself as an individual. Many of the men are far from this. They cannot accurately name their positive and negative sides; they are not confident in the correctness of the chosen path, in their strengths and views.

A man’s self-esteem manifests itself like this:

• does not see the need to prove anything to anyone, does not depend on the opinions of strangers;
• does not insult people in an attempt to prove superiority;
• does not humiliate himself, does not humiliate others;
• wishes himself a worthy life;
• always defends his views and interests;
• ready to work on ;
• does not equal other men, remembers his individuality.

A man who has been able to develop masculine CSD in himself knows how to accept praise and criticism. For him, a mistake is a path to improvement. He will not reproach and humiliate himself.

In some cases, representatives of the stronger sex are required to show dignity. We are talking about politicians, civil servants, and managers of large enterprises.

Among women

A woman with developed CSD subtly feels her desires, has inner harmony, experiences satisfaction from life and absolute happiness. There are other distinctive features:

1. She devotes enough time to taking care of internal and external beauty. , is developing.
2. Allows herself to be weak, to receive support and help from a man.
3. She does not humiliate herself in front of her chosen one, does not beg for feelings, tenderness and affection. Gives him the opportunity to take steps towards winning her heart.

Adequate encourages her to be a true homemaker and to show sincere care for her husband and children.

In a relationship

If we talk about relationships with other people, then CSD helps to understand and accept their opinions and respect the right to privacy.
Self-esteem manifests itself differently in romantic relationships. A man and a woman value each other. But at the same time they do not try to manipulate or change their partner. They show sincerity in caring for each other.
Men and women who have developed dignity in themselves do not stoop to showdowns, insults and humiliation. They don't shout, threaten or gossip.

The dangers of an inadequate sense of self-esteem

A painful or inadequate sense of self-esteem is fraught with many problems:

1. An overestimated heart rate or its absence affects others. In the first case, a person begins to humiliate others. In the second, he humiliates himself and allows others to behave the same way.
2. A person with heightened self-love often gets offended for no reason, faces disappointment, and experiences dissatisfaction with life.
3. Low self-esteem causes a person to consider himself a victim. He is self-flagellating.
4. Lack of dignity leads to a lack of ambition, lack of desire to develop, set and achieve goals.
5. Painful self-doubt makes you feel ashamed of your actions and words. A person becomes vulnerable to manipulation from outside.

Another risk of increased or decreased NRR is associated with the responsibility for maintaining it. Consider how often victims of physical and emotional abuse hide what happened to them. They feel ashamed of what happened. Many even consider themselves to blame for these situations. Psychology calls this behavior an attempt to maintain a sense of self-esteem at the proper level.

How to develop self-esteem

Developing self-esteem begins in early childhood. It is important for parents to understand that the child’s future depends on them. They can raise a strong personality or a “victim” who considers himself worthless.

To develop a sense of self-worth in children, parents need to adhere to six rules:

1. Convince your child of your unconditional love. This feeling should not stifle or limit freedom. It should not be given for homework done or dishes washed. The child needs to know that he is an individual, and not a weak-willed person who must live up to the expectations of adults.
2. Show your child your willingness to always come to the rescue. Caution must be exercised here. Your son or daughter should not feel under control. Just be open to communication, do not turn away from them in difficult moments.
3. Do not punish or insult if the child makes a mistake. Help him understand and correct it.
4. Help them learn to solve problems on their own. Let your child look for solutions, and not avoid difficulties.
5. Under no circumstances compare your child to other children. This is not the education of self-esteem, but of low self-esteem and self-doubt. Focus on good qualities, talents, skills.
6. Help your child complete tasks to the end. But if he doesn't like an activity, don't insist. This rule will be especially important for parents of teenagers. It is during this period that children choose a profession and a future path in life.

And further. Formation adequate self-esteem The child is encouraged by respect from his parents. They should not make fun of his dreams and desires. Otherwise, he will withdraw into himself and lose faith in his own strength.

How to develop self-esteem

Self-esteem and self-esteem are closely related. By increasing one, you will automatically be able to increase the other.
So, you can develop an adequate, rather than exaggerated, heart rate in several ways:

1. Look at yourself through the eyes of other people, from the outside. Honestly evaluate your qualities, achievements, and skills. You will be surprised to notice that your shortcomings are not that big. If you see some serious disadvantage, do not blame yourself. Better think about how you can get rid of it. Victory over a problem is an opportunity to develop self-love and respect.
2. Don't belittle your achievements. You may think that they are insignificant compared to the successes of other people. Believe me, there are those who will admire you.
3. Find in your character those qualities for which you can be praised. Feel free to talk about them. If you don't find any, try to work them out. We are not talking about traits that were formed initially. This refers to a sense of humor, insight, neatness. These qualities will overshadow the shortcomings.
4. Another way to develop self-esteem in women and men is to learn to look at things realistically. Set goals that you can definitely achieve.
5. Listen carefully to your desires and feelings. If you don't listen to yourself, those around you will do the same. Therefore, speak boldly, but tactfully and gently about what you want. Don't be afraid to say if you don't agree with something. Don't let people force their opinions on you. Remember, self-esteem means you can live life the way you want.
6. To develop dignity in yourself, you need to understand when you have lost inner harmony. Perhaps this happened in early childhood, when you suffered from parental neglect. Or maybe you were seriously hurt in your youth. There are many reasons. Define yours. Share your feelings with someone you can trust. Look at the situation from the outside. This psychological practice will help increase self-esteem, understand yourself as a person, and become more confident.

You can gain self-respect through praise. If you focus on mistakes and shortcomings, depression and apathy develop. Therefore, notice your even small victories and achievements. Praise and encourage yourself. This will increase your self-esteem and also give you the incentive to move on.

How to regain and maintain self-esteem

It is much easier to develop self-esteem in a child than to return it to an adult. But it can be done.

First, ask yourself the question: “Who am I really?” The answer to it is the first step towards the formation of lost self-esteem. Think about this. A person is born with a unique set of qualities, the ability to love, empathize, with desires and preferences. And the gravest mistake is to go against yourself for the sake of external circumstances. In such cases, you internally resist action. From this moment the destruction begins. Self-esteem decreases and confidence disappears. It is becoming increasingly difficult to regain a lost sense of self-worth. But it's worth a try.

Development in four main areas of life will help restore self-esteem:

1. Physical. Take time to take care of your appearance and health. Don't overwork yourself. Take short breaks during the workday. And on the weekends it’s full.
2. Emotional. Be open when communicating with people. Learn to say directly what you don't like. But at the same time, try not to humiliate or hurt the dignity of your interlocutor. Limit your interactions with those who are rude, irresponsible, or unceremonious.
3. Intelligent. New knowledge helps. Therefore, replace watching TV or, for example, computer games with reading interesting book. And then try to apply the information received in life.
4. Spiritual. Understanding the meaning of life will help to develop lost dignity again. Think about the purpose of your existence, decide on the direction and direction.

From time to time, analyze each of these areas, find and correct errors.
Once you have gained an adequate assessment of yourself, you need to maintain it. To do this, remember a number of simple recommendations:

1. Write down and achieve 7 small goals every week.
2. Plan to read at least one book a month.
3. Every day before going to bed, write down what good you have done, what you are proud of or even admire.
4. without humiliating or insulting the person.
5. or start doing what you've wanted for a long time.
6. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. People tend to make bad choices. Make them a stepping stone towards improvement.
7. Limit communication with those who slow down your development.
8. Take risks. Life is too short to leave dreams for later.
9. Don't be afraid of anything. Look at the difficulties with .

Another tip is to look your fears in the eye. Defeating them will also help you develop respect for yourself as an individual.

Conclusion

Every person needs to have self-esteem. It should not be overestimated or underestimated. Evaluate yourself objectively, considering both your strengths and weaknesses. But don't humiliate him in any way. Remember, you, like all other people, deserve respect and good treatment. Live according to your principles, beliefs and desires.

MOSCOW, October 17 - RIA Novosti. A person’s sense of self-worth does not depend on his material well-being: for a janitor it can be much higher than for an oligarch. However, for people with disabilities, the opportunity to work and earn money allows them to feel like a full-fledged member of society, according to experts and psychologists interviewed by RIA Novosti.

World Dignity Day, which is held annually on October 17 in more than 50 countries around the world, is designed to draw public attention to fostering a sense of leadership and self-respect. In Russia, this event is being held for the second time and it is expected that special events for this day will be held at educational sites in Moscow, St. Petersburg and Ulan-Ude.

You may not be an oligarch...

Every person has a sense of self-esteem, the only difference is that it is different for everyone, noted psychotherapist Konstantin Olkhovoy. “One of the main determinants of the size of a sense of dignity may be the size of the line beyond which a person is ready to cross or is not ready to cross and considers it unworthy of himself. Some consider it unworthy to humiliate and offend other people, while others believe that they should not take into account the opinion strangers," Olkhovoy noted.

According to him, a sense of dignity is determined by a person’s upbringing. A janitor's self-esteem can be much higher than, for example, an oligarch. “I think that the material side plays a secondary role here. It’s another matter if a person, for example, was raised from childhood in such a way that only the rich can have self-esteem, then poverty for this person will be a determining factor,” the expert believes.

Olkhovoy believes that in order to instill proper self-esteem in a person, it is important not only to love the child, but also to respect his views. “Too often we forget that a child is an independent person, with his own problems and joys. And the more we respect our own children, the more the child develops a sense of self-esteem. If a child sees that they treat him and other people with respect , often this builds a sense of self-esteem that does not infringe on the feelings of other people, but supports oneself and others,” Olkhovoy said.

Decent education

One of the main life lines in the development of a child is his relationship with his mother. In these relationships, from early childhood, either basic trust in the world or distrust is born, says vice-president of the Russian Society of Psychologists, academician Russian Academy education, professor Alexander Asmolov. “Any sense of dignity is based on trust in the world and faith in yourself,” he said.

He also believes that a child needs to be taught responsibility for the actions he commits from early childhood. “Love alone without generating responsibility will not lead to the formation of attitudes of self-esteem,” the professor added.

From childhood, a child should learn not only to be compassionate, but also to learn to be happy for the people around him, the psychologist explained.

“We know that children between the ages of 5 and 7 can empathize with other children when misfortune occurs. However, children are very weak at being happy for other children. It is no coincidence that psychologists say: people can sympathize, but only angels can rejoice.” , - added the psychologist.

Independence and autonomy

According to the regional project manager public organization disabled people "Perspective" by Mikhail Novikov, a person gains self-esteem when he feels self-sufficient and independent.

“A disabled person cannot fully feel independent in Russia, but independence is the basis of self-esteem. Unfortunately, in our society there are many barriers for people with disabilities that they are constantly forced to face. You should always look for someone who will help: climb the steps, go down the curb, get into the building. You constantly have to look for someone’s help. And this hits your dignity, your pride," Novikov believes.

Nikolai Morzhin, executive director of the regional public organization Center for Curative Pedagogy, agrees with him.

“The level of self-esteem of each individual person depends on the state of society as a whole. It is no longer so important whether he has a disability or not,” he is sure.

“It’s important to find something to do in life. Nothing raises self-esteem more than the opportunity to earn money. When you can invite your mother to a restaurant and pay for dinner, you rise not only in her eyes, but in yours too,” says Novikov.

He also noted that the development of inclusive education, when children with disabilities can study together with their healthy peers, will allow children with disabilities to fully realize their potential. Specialized correctional schools and boarding schools, he said, can lead to suppressed self-esteem in a child.

“Children in a boarding school are obliged to listen to their teachers in everything, follow the routine, and not argue. And what is most important, their own opinion is not accepted by anyone,” he is sure.

According to him, education also plays an important role in the formation of personality.

“Recently I witnessed an unpleasant scene. A mother brought her son with cerebral palsy to rehabilitation classes, and I was struck by her conversation with the child. She told him: “Get used to it, we’ll have to crawl like this for the rest of our lives.”... The child cries, she is stern with him and constantly reminds him of his disability. This, of course, is wrong,” says Novikov.