home / Self-development/ What to do if they call me names at school: psychologist's advice on how to deal with school bullying for a child. What to do if you are being called

What to do if they call me names at school: psychologist's advice on how to deal with school bullying for a child. What to do if you are being called

IN modern society many aggressive people, because the frantic pace of life leaves its mark on the mood, demeanor and interpersonal communication. At a certain period of life, people collide with each other, so avoiding conflicts is quite difficult. Sooner or later you will find yourself in the line of fire with a person who throws insults. At such moments, you must fight back against your opponent. Some start a skirmish, others react calmly. Consider all the methods in order.

Method number 1. boredom

The technique of tediousness is quite common among intelligent people. If you are mentally superior to your opponents, consider this option. If the interlocutor is trying to offend you, give him an analogy from the scientific literature.
For example, you were reproached for the mess on your desktop, as if you had evolved from a pig. Get your bearings in time and answer: “Darwin has repeatedly proved the fact that pigs do not belong to humans in any way. They do not work at a desk, therefore, they cannot create a mess in the workplace. Read the book to make more precise arguments in the future!
In addition to the fact that the fact will hurt the offender, the opponent will be confused. You will have enough time to plan further dialogue. Not many people have scientific information, such a move will put the boor in an awkward position.

Method number 2. Ignoring

Not every person can gather his will into a fist and turn on the ignoring mode, besides, such behavior is not always appropriate. However, there are often cases when this tactic will come in handy.
If the insult is petty, a grin is the best option. Smile with one corner of your lips, thinking to yourself how much better the world would be without fools. If a person is narrow-minded, and also sinks to low insults, demonstrate contempt.
Don't hold back your positive attitude. You can laugh in your opponent's face without responding with words. Make it clear that rudeness does not hurt you at all, even if the situation is different.
The tactic of ignoring is to prove to the opponent his stupidity. It is possible that he will become even more furious when he sees your reaction. Namely, that his words not only do not disturb, but also amuse you.
If the person is sane, you can accompany the grin with a polite phrase. For example, “It seemed to me or did you have a bad day?”. If a person belongs to the category of boors, your attack will cause even more discontent.
Unfortunately, modern world degrades, so the technique of ignoring is important to use correctly. She is suitable for a skirmish with ill-mannered people who do not watch their language.
Never try to justify yourself if you see that the insult is inappropriate. Again, it's best to ignore the attacker by smiling slyly in response. Do not cross into the territory of the offender, such a move will be obviously losing.

Method number 3. calmness

The previous options, namely "Ignore" and "Nerd", refer to sarcastic ways. You suppress the offender through malice, some kind of mockery. And this method differs in that you need to respond to insults in a calm tone.
Do not swear, use swear words or raise your voice a few tones. Answer with a slight smile, be friendly. Ask what exactly does not suit your interlocutor. Try to sort out the situation "on the shelves."
Such behavior shocks the opponent, some begin to feel embarrassed. A conflict situation often ends with an apology from the offender. This option will not allow the scandal to turn into a disaster.
If you have peace of mind and want to maintain harmony in your heart, do not respond with evil to an insult. When this is hard to achieve, take 5 deep breaths and the same number of exhalations, and then proceed to further dialogue.

Method number 4. Gratitude

The technique of gratitude is also called Aikido. Of course, experienced professionals do not advise to engage in assault. The technique consists in transferring aggression from the opponent to him.
The option is suitable for people who are offended in the presence of colleagues or other large crowds. In such situations, it is important to defend your honor, but it must be done correctly.
Tell the interlocutor that you are extremely grateful to him. For what? For the fact that he spent a lot of time listing your shortcomings. Also clarify that you would not do this because you do not care about him.
It is important that there is no sarcasm in the answers. The main thing is to be serious and calm, as if you casually paid attention to the offender. By demonstrating fortitude, you will emerge victorious from the skirmish, while saving face.
End the speech with another thank you. Inform that in the evening you will think about your own shortcomings and try to correct them in the near future. As practice shows, such an answer misleads boors. In this case, all the "spectators of the show" will take your side, definitely.

Method number 5. Revelation

In most cases, insults in the family circle or among close friends can be eliminated in time if you bring your opponent to a frank dialogue. It is important to step over your pride and stop resisting, after proceeding to manipulation.
Report native person that it is unpleasant for you to listen to such claims. Try to find out what they are backed by. If the arguments are truthful enough, listen and draw your own conclusions.
If you are in pain, let me know. As a rule, most situations are resolved peacefully. If people are dear to each other, they will be able to find a solution to any problem.
If we are talking, again, about relatives or friends, try to forgive the offender in advance. You yourself understand that irritation and indignation do not appear out of nowhere. Since the person is dear to you, try to understand and forgive him.

Method number 6. Humor

Positive is everything! The recommendation is especially relevant in cases with poorly educated or close people. A good joke or a positive reaction to an insult will smooth out the rough edges.
To defuse the atmosphere, you need to have a sense of humor. When you repel attacks in this way, the interlocutor will become confused. His concentration will be broken as the insults take a different turn.
Further development of the scandal will become inappropriate after both laugh at the joke. It is important to reflect the negative in time so that it does not grow into something more.
Of course, not all situations need to be taken lightly. For example, if you were insulted on your way to work (in traffic or on public transport), the best option would be to keep your distance. Move away from the offender, making it clear that his company is unpleasant for you.

Win-win phrases

There are many phrases that will help you get out of a conflict situation as a winner. You can remember those that you like, and then apply them for their intended purpose.

"I'm sorry, are you done?"
“What a pity, I thought you were a man with brains!”
“I can say for sure that the image of a boor does not suit you! Although…"
“Dear, please slow down. I am not your wife (brother, matchmaker)
“By your tone, you can understand that you have confused the shores ...”
“By your behavior do you want to achieve the truth or a flattering answer?”
“Why would an educated person put their cons on public display?”
"Don't worry about me so much..."
“By getting personal, are you trying to compensate for your lack of intelligence?”
“Thank you for your interest in my person and life in particular. Your call is very important to us…”
“Why are you trying to hurt me? Are you an energy vampire?
"Beautiful weather, isn't it?"

There are basic techniques that will save face and adequately respond to insults. The most common options are boring, positive, ignoring, calm, gratitude and revelation. You will also need universal phrases that can be used in controversial situations.

Video: how to respond to insults

In any team, both in children and in adults, there will always be subjects who experience a certain pleasure from the opportunity to laugh at another person, bringing him to tears, humiliating him and trampling him into the mud.

The question “What to do if you are called names” is most often of interest to schoolchildren. It is in school that children are most sensitive and receptive. And the words of peers can not only hurt, but cause irreparable damage to the psyche elementary school student or teenager. And in rare cases, provoke inappropriate behavior and suicide.

The most common way to solve this problem is to try to protect yourself with force. Alas, in rare situations, this behavior turns out to be true. After all, the offender may be physically stronger or he may not be alone. In this case, the problem will only worsen.

Not the best solution to the problem is for a child to move to another school, and for an adult - to another team.

A surer step would be to seek advice from an experienced psychologist who can understand the problem in detail and teach you what to do when you are called names. If a child is afraid to go to a specialist himself or is simply embarrassed, then parents can do this, and then pass on the information received to their child in a language more accessible to him. A personal meeting of the so-called victim with a specialist will help to sort out the problem even faster.

First of all, psychologists advise to figure out why a person is teased. More often than not, the victim does not understand the real reason. For example, if a child is called a bespectacled man, it is not because he wears glasses. The real reason lies much deeper. It has nothing to do with the appearance of a person or with his mental abilities. After all, the world is full of ugly, unsuccessful, stupid people who have not become the center of ridicule. Psychologists say that the true reason lies in the person himself, in the fact that he constantly reacts to offensive remarks, gets upset and upset, cries, tries to threaten his offenders, scare them, ridicule them in response. All attempts to stop bullying produce the opposite effect, namely, they provoke the participants in this tragedy even more, giving them special pleasure. How more people expresses resistance and shows his feelings and anger, the more happy his offenders feel. For them, the nickname itself, which they came up with and constantly use, is not at all important, the result is important for them.

The offender is always able to single out a person from the crowd who will allow himself to be offended and, as it were, voluntarily become a victim. He tries to choose a person who will definitely cry, blush, run away, start complaining to parents, teachers, friends, colleagues .... In this way, he tries to declare himself the most daring and right. Any reaction of the victim for him is a kind of victory in the game he started.

Thus, it turns out that the best thing to do so that you are not teased is to change your personal attitude to the current situation, ceasing to encourage your offenders to make you a laughingstock. However, this is very difficult to do. Otherwise, there would be practically no conflict situations between people.

Experts offer one simple, but very effective method, which will help stop any attacks in your direction. Its essence lies in changing one's attitude to the insults coming from the offenders. You need to learn to indifferently perceive any comments and ignore any mocking phrases. You should not complain about these people, for example, teachers or colleagues. Don't try to silence them or apologize. The reaction should be completely absent. It is necessary to remain indifferent no matter what. It will be wrong to try to answer the same or start an argument, trying to make excuses.

Of course, there is no need to go to extremes and pretend to be deaf and blind. The main phrases in communicating with ill-wishers should be the expressions “If you want to call me names, please” and “If you like to laugh at me so much, you can devote all day to this.” You can also repeat phrases like “I have nothing to do with this. They need it, but it’s not interesting at all.”

It is necessary to make the offenders feel that their words no longer hurt. Psychologists call this trick “allowing or allowing yourself to be laughed at.” The win-win of such behavior lies in the fact that as soon as you show a person that all his attempts do not have the desired effect for him, he begins to lose all interest in continuing ridicule. The correct behavior should be as follows: you must be so calm that you can smile in response to an insult, as if implying: “I am so happy that you managed to have fun,” or yawn, hinting that you have become bored in this company.

The main condition for success is to remember forever that the real goal of bullying is not to try to tell others the truth, but to make a person lose his temper. Thus, not only deciding what to do when everyone calls you names, but also, having accepted this thought within yourself, you can defeat the offenders in a matter of days.

Faithful comrades in such a battle can be a good sense of humor. It is important to understand that the cause of ordinary healthy laughter is most often ordinary mortals who accidentally managed to get into an absurd situation. In any comedy, the characters always tease each other without falling into a rage. Realizing that laughter is a natural way of communicating will help you deal with all sorts of ridicule more easily. After all, a person with a good sense of humor is able to turn any evil words thrown at him into a joke.

Unfortunately, not everyone has a good sense of humor. However, one should not despair here either. This quality can be developed by anyone. Certain results will help to achieve the usual viewing of a comedy film. You only have to watch them very carefully, trying to analyze the actions and remarks of all the characters.

Often, in order to be able to take advantage of all the recommendations on the topic “If you are teased or called names, how to respond”, you must first overcome your fear. After all, if a person is afraid for a number of reasons of the people around him, then they will definitely feel it and at some point they will be able to use it for their own purposes. They will like to feel stronger, smarter, more courageous. As a result, people will become less respectful of a person who constantly feels awkward and fearful when communicating with them. Friends will disappear, and the label of a loser will appear in their place. That is why it is important to try to eradicate the feeling of fear of society or its specific representatives. You need to set yourself up in such a way that no other thought could even arise in your head, except for the awareness of your own significance.

When working on yourself, it is worth remembering one golden rule, the essence of which is not to take to heart what other people think about you. You need to inspire yourself with the following: “People can think what they want about me, and this is quite natural. I don't mind if they think I'm ugly, stupid, fat or boring. This is my life and I plan to live it according to my beliefs and desires.” Such an attitude will help you worry less about the judgments of other people, making a person stronger in their own eyes.

To prevent the bullying problem from reoccurring, and to achieve ultimate success by stopping bullying behavior once and for all, three cautions must be learned. They will not allow you to fall into the trap and protect you from bullying in the future.

The first warning is that the offenders' response to their victim's changed behavior will intensify the attacks as much as possible, making them even more intolerable. You should not retreat, you need to be patient, squeeze all your will into a fist and wait. It will take at least three days until the offenders begin to understand that they are gradually starting to lose ground.

The essence of the second warning is to follow the described instructions constantly - 24 hours a day, without interrupting even for a second. Seeing at least a second hesitation in the eyes of their victim, the offenders will understand that they need to try even harder, and they will again be winners. In this case, the persecution will become even more cruel.

Finally, it is important to understand that following the suggested tips on how to behave when you are called names will not be able to stop a person from being teased completely. The improvements will be significant. But it is worthwhile to understand for yourself that all people are mocked in this or that situation. It may be very rare, but it can happen to anyone. Take, for example, celebrities. Almost every act of theirs is condemned. If they were offended by every rude word thrown at them, our stage would have been empty for a long time, because there would be no one to go out on it.

In conclusion, it is worth saying that people are not able to do so that they are not judged and teased. How more successful person, the more looks he attracts to himself and the more slander causes.

Unfortunately, we are not always able to orient ourselves in time and respond correctly in situations where someone offends us. Subsequently, we are upset not only because of the very fact of other people's insults, but also because we failed to give a proper rebuff. In many cases, you can avoid these frustrations.

Many people make the mistake of clearly showing the interlocutor that his words hurt them in some way. Of course, when we are insulted, it is not easy to control ourselves and not show that we are offended and “touched to the quick”. And yet, if you do not cope with this task, then the opponent will understand that he managed to achieve the goal and offend you for real. No matter how difficult it is for you, try to make it clear to the person that his words do not bother you at all. The best way to help you with this is humor, which often helps you respond quickly in unforeseen situations.

If you stock up on a few witty phrases, then, for sure, later they will be able to help you out at the right time.

Examples of such remarks:

Your words don't surprise me at all. I would be surprised if you said something really smart.
And nature really has a great sense of humor, since she creates specimens like you!

How to respond to insults and aggression

How to behave when you are insulted

Situations can be different, so it is advisable to adjust your behavior in accordance with them.

For example, if you yourself offended a person, and you understand that all his insults are just hurt pride and an attempt to avenge the offense, then it is better to remain silent. Probably, the interlocutor is in agony, and with additional remarks you will aggravate the situation even more.
If they began to offend you undeservedly or even “for no reason at all”, then, probably, the opponent wants to “let off steam”, and it is quite possible that you just fell under a hot hand. Of course, in this situation you should not be a "punching bag" - put the offender in his place!
If you are offended by a person who is clearly in an inadequate state, then it is better not to have anything to do with him and not get involved in a dialogue. We are talking about a person in hysterics or under the influence of alcohol or drugs. You will not be able to prove anything to such an interlocutor, and it is even quite likely that with your answers (any!) You will provoke him to a new flow of aggression or even the use of physical force. It is better to avoid communicating with such people, even if you surpass them in physical parameters - you should not get involved in a skirmish that is unlikely to end in something good.

Undoubtedly, such a situation is offensive to any person, and sometimes we do not know how to respond to insults. There are times when it is better not to get involved in a conflict and simply ignore unpleasant remarks - for example, at the moment when they are spoken by a drunk or completely out of control person. Another thing is when the interlocutor approaches this consciously. So, with what sharp words can you answer the words of a rude man?

Your fantasy and mind are so primitive that these insults do not offend me at all.
It's amazing how easy it is for you to offend someone. Fate will do the same to you, you'll see.

In general, it is worth noting that most often boors specifically try to provoke us into any kind of reaction. Often we notice that someone else's rudeness can completely arise from a completely empty place, or the reason is so insignificant that an adequate person would not pay attention to it at all. Just boors can not deprive themselves of the opportunity to offend someone.

Most often, in such cases, we are advised to ignore the attacks of the ill-wisher, and such recommendations are instilled in us from childhood. And yet, such advice, as a rule, has practically no effectiveness - in practice, it often turns out that a person who has escaped punishment for his sabotage becomes even more impudent. If the boor is constantly ignored, then subsequently he is affirmed in the thought that everything is permitted to him. Therefore, it is important to remember that at no time should we ignore the insults that we are "bestowed" on our work time sellers, administrators, cashiers and other casual interlocutors. The most adequate reaction to such behavior is an appeal to the authorities, whose task is to competently select personnel.

How to adequately respond to rudeness and rudeness

You can very well get out of this situation elegantly if you calmly agree with the boor. This technique has a particularly disarming effect on some people. So, if someone is trying to insult your mental abilities or "ride" on appearance, then half agree with these words, and then thank your opponent for taking the time to find your shortcomings. This method has a very high efficiency when there are spectators present during its implementation. You will not offend the boor in response, but at the same time put him in an awkward position.

Many people are distinguished by increased suspiciousness, and if such an instance met on your way, then, of course, you can scare him with the inevitable retribution “from above”. After the phrases below, the offender will remember the dialogue with you for a long time.

There is no desire to respond to these insults. However, the day will come when you will understand that all misfortunes have been acquired by you, starting from this day.
It has already happened that we pay for everything in this life. Remember this day to know why God is punishing you.
From now on, you are in for a lot of bad luck. I'm not scaring you, I just know about it.

How to intelligently send a person without a mat

If you do not want to swear in response to other people's unpleasant statements, but still think that you must fight back, then it is quite possible to answer intelligently, but still put the person in his place.

They say that a person usually hides his complexes and insolvency behind insults. Think about it.
It feels like an insult is the only way you can assert yourself.

How to shut up a person with one beautiful phrase

Sometimes there is no desire to enter into a verbal skirmish, and you want to shut up a person by uttering only one annihilating remark. There are many such phrases, and they act differently on everyone. Here's an example:

They say that when a person is not particularly brilliant with his mind, the only thing left for him is to stoop to insults.

When insulting the boss

In this case, unfortunately, we do not always have the opportunity to answer the way we want, therefore, it would be most reasonable to simply avoid the conflict. If we are talking not about the authorities, but about a colleague, then there is no need to escalate the situation either - try to answer neutrally.

Such a technique can also be useful at the moment when the boss offends you: at the time when the boss says unpleasant things to you, mentally imagine a small, capricious child in his place. In your imagination, soothe this baby, stroke him on the head, feed him milk porridge. So it will be much easier for you to listen to insults, and perhaps even your mood will not worsen at all. In addition, the boss, for sure, will be able to assess your stamina.

Buy an Elephant Method

Many people remember a joke from childhood, when the opponent was offered to “buy an elephant”, thereby infuriating him and almost driving him crazy. You can do the same. Answer each barb with the same bored tone: “So?”, “And then that?”, “Really?” and in the same vein. Undoubtedly, by the end of this monotonous conversation, the boor will experience a real decline in moral strength.

Improvisation

In a conversation with the offender, try to use the surprise effect, surprise and disarm him with this. For example, you can laugh out loud in response to unpleasant words, as if you heard the funniest joke. You can also sneeze, noting: "Sorry, I'm just allergic to people like you." In addition, you can smile good-naturedly, and curl: "Surely, your parents are ashamed of your upbringing." Try to improvise!

If you understand that the insults that sound at you are completely unfair, and you guess that your opponent also suspects this, then you should shame him. How can I do that? First of all, you can use certain phrases. If the person insulting you is conscientious enough, then such words will be able to penetrate him.

Never stoop to insults without understanding the situation properly. It doesn't suit you at all.
I hope that the day will come when you will be ashamed of everything you said.
It is strange that I had a much better opinion of you.
I hope you're just trying to look worse than you really are.

There is no doubt that the person trying to insult you simply wants to somehow assert himself or stand out. At the end of his monologue, you may well ask coldly: “Well, did you manage to assert yourself at my expense?”.

In general, when dealing with such a person, sincerely try to understand what kind of person he is. true purpose what he wants to achieve with his words. At these moments, it is not so important what exactly your opponent says to you, but why he does it.

If you cannot find an answer in a difficult situation, then at least try not to bring the matter to mutual insults and impulsive reactions. Do not play by the rules that they try to impose on you.

It is also important to learn how to calmly respond to any rudeness, without “losing face” and a sense of dignity. Although it's hard not to admit that cultural conversion rarely makes a strong impression on the boor.

When it comes to trolling or other provocative situations, the best thing you can do is ignore such a person.

The right response to insults

It happens that we want to answer, but you know in advance that any of your words simply will not have an effect on the offender. Of course, in this situation it is better not to waste words and energy, but simply cut off the dialogue abruptly.
It often happens that the person “attacking” you actually has nothing against you personally - he just has Bad mood. In this case, it is enough to ask him the question: “Bad day?”. An adequate person will not argue with this, and it is even possible that he will apologize.
Often it is better not to lead to reciprocal insults. Try to avoid this situation by asking the interlocutor what he told you. Pretend you didn't hear his words. It is possible that the person has already regretted what was said. If the “attack” continues, then, apparently, you have a rare boor in front of you.
During some dialogues, we are simply strangled by the desire to pounce on the interlocutor. And yet, be that as it may, it is very important not to come to this - you will almost certainly regret it. Try to keep your mind calm. It will be ideal if you learn to parry with witty remarks, and not show that provocations hurt you in any way.
It is impossible not to mention one of the most common mistakes made by people who were forced to face insults. It's about excuses. Often, when we hear hurtful words, we try to prove to the opponent that he is unfair to us. With such tactics, you will undoubtedly find yourself in a position of humiliation.

Insulted by a stranger

If a person is drunk or clearly out of his mind, then you should still ignore his words - just try not to notice him. If we are talking about a stranger who didn’t like your behavior, then try to understand the situation, and then act “according to circumstances”.

Offended by a loved one

It is important here to understand why conflict situation and what triggered it. It is better to prevent the spread of further quarrel, and frankly tell a loved one that he offended you, and you are hurt by his words. Try not to hush up the conflict, but speak frankly, clarifying the matter.

It happens that at the moments when they try to offend us with their insults, we frantically begin to scroll through the possible answers in our thoughts. It becomes quite insulting if these efforts are in vain and a witty answer comes to our mind after the dialogue is completed. Everyone knows the expression that “after a fight they don’t wave their fists”, therefore it is advisable to respond to the interlocutor’s sharp remarks in a timely manner.

So, let's look at some similar phrases that can help us in a difficult conversation:

I don't want to interrupt you, but I have more important things to do. Are you done?
Do you answer politely or tell the truth?

Note that most often people who easily go to insult the interlocutor, as a rule, do not have high intelligence, so smart answers often drive them into a stupor. What options can be used?

Examples:

I don’t know what your usual diet is, but this menu is clearly not very balanced, and contains harmful carcinogens - they took up the destruction of your brain cells!
Scientists have not yet fully studied the intellectual abilities of primates. Maybe you could leave your contacts, my friend researcher will need them very much. By the way, do you want to take part in a scientific experiment?

And yet, if possible, try not to respond to insults in the spirit of the offender himself. Or at least don't become the instigator of the conflict! What kind of people tend to do this?

The face of a provocateur

A weak man who is really a coward, and sharp words are his only defense.
Energy vampire who tries to bring on negative emotions interlocutor, thereby "feeding" himself.
Hams without education, who had to grow like "grass in the field."
Aggressors who find it difficult to live a day without participating in any scandal.
Unfavorable elements, like drug addicts and alcoholics, who find it difficult to control themselves.
Just stupid people.

When you understand that an adequate and reasonable person will find a way to convey his idea without obscenities and insults, then it will be much easier for you to respond to the antics of ordinary boors.

This is one of the first desires that arise after an insult. But a retaliatory attack is appropriate only if it:

witty;
takes place in the circle of relatives or friends;
defuse the situation rather than exacerbate the conflict.

In all other cases, even if you consider yourself a wit worse than Oscar Wilde, answering an insult with an insult is not the best way out. So you sink to the level of a boorish opponent and make it clear that his words hurt you, that is, there may be some truth in them.

2. Make a joke

The difference between a witty insult and a joking response is that in the latter case, you are making fun of the situation itself. The advantages of this strategy are obvious: the insult loses its toxicity, tension, and the audience (if any) takes your side.

In this case, you can also take a pseudo-self-deprecating position. This will confuse your opponent and mask the sarcasm.

Example 1: A colleague says you've prepared an ugly presentation.

Answer: You are probably right. Next time, I won't ask my five-year-old son for help."

Example 2: A stranger calls you names.

Answer: “Thank you, this is very valuable information. You opened my eyes to my shortcomings. Something to think about over lunch."

3. Accept

In some cases, it is really worth analyzing words that seem offensive to you. Especially if they come from people close and respected by you. In this case, take their remarks not as an insult, but as criticism that can make you better.

It would be useful to think about the motives of people, to find out what exactly made them use harsh language. Perhaps this is a violent reaction to your far from angelic behavior.

4. Respond to intent, not words

Any insult always has a hidden purpose. Make the secret clear: designate it.

For example, in response to rude words, say: “Wow! Something really serious happened between us, since you decided to hurt me.

So, on the one hand, you can unsettle your opponent, and on the other hand, find out the reason for his negative attitude.

5. Keep calm

If the insult comes not from a loved one, but from a colleague, acquaintance, or even a stranger, never show that the words hurt you. Most likely, behind them lies insecurity, dissatisfaction with their own lives and a desire to simply recoup you. Don't let the trick work, react calmly and with a smile.

If necessary, continue to bend your line: ask what exactly caused such a reaction in a person, not paying attention to his words.

6. Ignore

Often the best answer is its absence. If we are talking about Internet trolls, you can simply not respond to their comments or send boors to . Well, "in offline mode" you can always skip the insult past your ears or leave. You have every right to do so.

An example from ancient Roman history... Once, in the public baths, someone hit the politician Cato. When the offender came to apologize, Cato replied: "I don't remember the blow."

This phrase can be interpreted as follows: "You are so insignificant that not only do I not care about your apology, but I did not even notice the insult itself."

7. Use the law

You can hold the offender accountable, or at least threaten him with it. Punishment for insult is prescribed in the Code of Administrative Offenses, but slander is already in the scope of criminal law. In case of insults from the boss, you can contact the personnel department.

The main thing - remember: no one has the right to encroach on your honor, dignity and reputation. But you must respond to people in the same way. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.

It happens that we can be offended and rude even in the most seemingly inappropriate place, for example, in a store where, in theory, “the buyer is always right”, or in a clinic, in a bank, at work, in educational institution, and just at home.

It took place to watch the picture, as a young mother, carrying a stroller with a baby, was attacked by a security guard and began to yell that it was forbidden to drive into the store with strollers, although it was illegal.

Some people have such an atmosphere at work that it is not clear how they survive there. The boss can easily be rude or call his subordinate, and the workers do not dare to object to him, being afraid to fly out of office.

If you were offended, said rudely or called names, you should not become discouraged, rush with your fists at the offender.

What to do if you were called names, rude, rude:

You can just keep silent, not react, grinning arrogantly. On offenders, this method often acts discouragingly, because their words did not have the desired effect.
Answer briefly: "You are rude and ill-mannered." In some cases, you will put the offender into a stupor, put him in his place, and while he stands with his eyes bulging, you can leave the place of collision with your head held high.
Read a rude lecture about polite behavior in society, or say: "Zainka, God bless you!" with a sweet smile.
If possible, be calm when you hear dissonant remarks addressed to you, do not shout and do not climb with your fists, by this you only show how much the words of a rude person hurt you. It’s better to answer with a smile something like this: “Why so much interest in my person?” “You don’t have your own personal life, did you decide to participate in someone else’s?”
Say this: “If you have such low self-esteem that you can only humiliate others by exalting yourself, then I advise you to seek help and support from a psychologist, because people like you do not have real friends.”
Response to a boorish woman: "You are as smart and kind as you are beautiful."
Of course, you can respond in kind and be rude in return, sliding down to the level of a rude offender, but shouting out your tirade in response, you can throw off the overwhelming tension a little. However, this is the most unfortunate of the options.

Here are some more responses that you can use when confronting an offender:

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you;
Appreciated the depth of your thought, thank you!
Thank you for your attention to my personality, that you were not too lazy to criticize it;
For God's sake, I don't mind. I love being hated;
Is that all you wanted to say?
I had a better opinion of you;
Rudeness does not suit you at all;
Do you want a polite answer or the truth?
Why are you trying to look worse than you really are?

Depending on the situation, you can put into practice all of the above methods of dealing with boors and rude people, in especially unpleasant situations, try to give out a witty joke or remark.

It is not sad, but it also happens that none of the above helps, especially for teenagers. Offenders can consider ignoring and silence as cowardice and weakness, and with even greater bitterness they continue to make fun and mock a person. In this case, there is only one way through which you can earn the respect of your peers - to hit back the offender. This will show that you are not afraid, and are not going to continue to endure insulting ridicule, name-calling and rudeness.