How to express sympathy for a sick person in words. How to sympathize without humiliating, and help without violating free will

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100 examples of condolences about death

How to Express Condolences for a Death to the relatives and friends of the deceased? Funeral words of sorrow and support in Hard time.Sincere words of condolences about the death - briefly.

Funeral words of grief for the deceased

Condolences are mourning words of sorrow who express sympathy over death. Sincere condolences provide for the format of a personal, personal appeal - verbal or text.

Within or in public, condolences are also appropriate, but there must be expressed briefly. In an expression of sympathy from a believer, you can add: "We pray for ___". More information about the rules of condolences can be found on the Epitaph.ru website.

Etiquette Muslim condolences It is distinguished by a fatal attitude towards death and acceptance of loss, as well as clear requirements for rituals, clothing, behavior, symbols, and gestures.

Examples of condolences

Universal short words of grief

In the case when words of condolences are pronounced after the burial or on the day of the funeral, you can (but not necessarily) add briefly: “May the earth rest in peace!” If you have the opportunity to provide assistance (organizational, financial - any), then this phrase is convenient to complete words of condolences, for example “These days you will probably need help. I would like to be of assistance. Count on me!

• I am shocked by this sad news. It's hard to accept. I share your pain of loss...
• My heart is broken by yesterday's news. I worry with you and remember ___ with the warmest words! It's hard to accept the loss of ___! Everlasting memory!
• The news of ___'s death is a terrible blow! It hurts to even think that we won't see him/her again. Please accept my and my husband's condolences for your loss!
• Until now, the news of ___'s death seems like a ridiculous mistake! It's impossible to comprehend this! Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss!
• My condolences! It hurts to even think about it, it’s hard to talk about. I sympathize with your pain! Everlasting memory ___!
• It's hard to put into words how much ___ and I feel for your loss ___! A golden man, of which there are few! We will always remember him/her!
• “This is an incredible, catastrophic loss. The loss of a real person, an idol, an exemplary family man and a citizen of his country" (about Ilya Segalovich). .
• We sympathize with your loss! The news of ___'s death shocked our entire family. We remember and will remember ___ how most worthy person. Please accept our sincere condolences!
• It's small consolation, but know that we are with you in the grief of your loss ___ and our hearts go out to your entire family! Everlasting memory!
• “Words cannot express all the pain and sadness. Like a bad dream. Eternal peace to your soul, our dear and beloved Zhanna!(Grave and)
• An unfathomable loss! We all mourn the loss of ___, but of course it’s even harder for you! We sincerely sympathize with you and will remember you all our lives! We would like to provide any help you need at this moment. Count on us!
• Sad... I respect and remember ___ and am truly sorry for your loss! The least I can do today is to help in some way. At least I have four empty seats in the car.

Condolences on the death of mother and grandmother

• I was stunned by this terrible news. For me, ___ is a hospitable hostess, a kind woman, but for you... The loss of your mother... I sympathize with you so much and cry with you!
• We are very... very upset beyond words! It’s hard when you lose loved ones, but the death of a mother is a grief for which there is no cure. Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss!
• ___ was a model of delicacy and tact. Her memory will be as endless as her kindness to all of us. The passing of a mother is an incomparable grief. Please accept my deepest condolences!
• A grief incomparable to anything! And I have no words to ease your pain. But I know that she would not like to see your despair. Be strong! Tell me, what could I take on these days?
• We are happy that we knew ___. Her kind disposition and generosity surprised us all, and that is how she will be remembered! It is difficult to express our grief in words - it is too great. Let the kindest memories and bright memories of her be at least a small consolation!
• The news of ___'s departure came as a shock to us. We can only guess what a blow her departure was for you. At such moments we feel abandoned, but remember that you have friends who loved and appreciated your mother. Count on our help!
• Words cannot heal a terrible wound in the heart. But bright memories of ___, how honestly and honorably she lived her life, will always be stronger than death. In the bright memory of her, we are with you forever!
• They say they love their grandchildren even more than their children. We felt this love of our grandmother to the fullest. This love will warm us all our lives, and we will pass on some of its warmth to our children and grandchildren...
• Losing loved ones is very difficult... And the loss of a mother is the loss of a part of yourself... Mom will always be missed, but may the memory of her and the warmth of a mother always be with you!
• Words cannot heal this wound of loss. But the bright memory of ___, who lived her life honestly and with dignity, will be stronger than death. We are with you in eternal memory about her!
• Her whole life was spent in countless labors and worries. We will always remember her as such a warm-hearted and soulful woman!
• Without parents, without mother, there is no one between us and the grave. May wisdom and perseverance help you get through these most difficult days. Hold on!
• The paragon of virtue has passed away from ___! But she will remain a guiding star for all of us who remember, love and honor her.
• It is ___ that can be dedicated to kind words: “She whose actions and deeds came from the soul, from the heart.” May she rest in peace!
• The life she lived has a name: “Virtue.” ___ is the source of life, faith and love for loving children and grandchildren. The Kingdom of heaven!
• How much we didn’t tell her during her lifetime!
• Please accept my sincere condolences! What a man! ___, just as she lived modestly and quietly, she left humbly, as if a candle had gone out.
• ___ involved us in good deeds, and thanks to her we became better people. For us, ___ will forever remain a model of mercy and tact. We are happy that we knew her.
• Your mother was a smart and bright person... Many, like me, will feel that the world has become poorer without her.

Condolences on the death of husband, father, grandfather

• We are deeply saddened by the news of your father's death. He was a fair and strong man, a loyal and sensitive friend. We knew him well and loved him like a brother.
• Our family mourns with you. The loss of such reliable support in life is irreparable. But remember that we would be honored to help you any minute you need it.
• My condolences, ___! The death of a beloved husband is the loss of oneself. Hang in there, these are the hardest days! We mourn together with your grief, we are close...
• Today everyone who knew ___ mourns with you. This tragedy does not leave anyone close to us indifferent. I will never forget my comrade, and I consider it my duty to ___ to support you on any occasion, should you contact me.
• I'm so sorry that ___ and I had disagreements at one time. But I always appreciated and respected him as a person. I apologize for my moments of pride and offer you my help. Today and always.
• Thanks to your statements about his [qualities or good deeds], it seems to me that I have always known him. I sympathize with you about the death of such a loved one and a soul so close to you! Rest in peace…
• I am truly sorry for the loss of your dad. This is a very sad and sad time for you. But good memories are what will help you survive this loss. Your father lived a long and bright life and achieved success and respect in it. We also join in the words of friends’ grief and memories of ___.
• I sincerely sympathize with you... What a person, what a personality! He deserves more words than can be said now. In the memories of ___, he is both our teacher of justice and mentor in life. Eternal memory to him!
• Without a father, without parents, there is no one between us and the grave. But ___ set an example of courage, perseverance and wisdom. And I'm sure that he wouldn't want you to grieve like that right now. Be strong! I sincerely sympathize with you.
• Your shock at the onset of loneliness is a severe shock. But you have the strength to overcome grief and continue what he did not manage to do. We are nearby, and we will help with everything - contact us! It is our duty to remember ___!
• We mourn with you in this difficult moment! ___ is the kindest man, free of silver, lived for his neighbors. We sympathize with your loss and join you in the kindest and brightest memories of your husband.
• We're sorry for your loss! We sympathize - the loss is irreplaceable! Intelligence, iron will, honesty and justice... - we are lucky to work with such a friend and colleague! We would like to ask him for forgiveness for so many things, but it’s too late... Eternal memory to a mighty man!
• Mom, we mourn and cry with you! Our sincere gratitude from children and grandchildren and warm memories of a good father and good grandfather! Our memory of ___ will be eternal!
• Blessed are those whose memory will be as bright as ___. We will remember and love him forever. Be strong! ___ it would be easier if he knew that you could handle all this.
• My condolences! Recognition, respect, honor, and... eternal memory!
• They say about such open-hearted people: “How much of ours went with you! How much of yours remains with us! We will remember ___ forever and pray for him!

Condolences on the death of a friend, brother, sister, loved one or loved one

• Accept my condolences! It has never been more expensive or closer, and probably never will be. But in yours and in our hearts he will remain a young, strong, full of life man. Everlasting memory! Hold on!
• Difficult to pick true words in this difficult moment. I mourn with you! Small consolation will be that not everyone has had the opportunity to experience such love as yours. But may ___ remain alive in your memory, full of strength and love! Everlasting memory!
• There is such wisdom: “It’s bad if there is no one to take care of you. It’s even worse if there’s no one to take care of you.” I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be so sad. Let's ask his mother what we can do to help her now.
• My condolences to you! Through life hand in hand, but you have suffered this bitter loss. It is necessary, it is necessary to find the strength to survive these most difficult moments and difficult days. In our memory he will remain ___.
• It is very bitter to lose your loved ones and relatives, but it is doubly bitter when young, beautiful, strong people leave us. May God rest his soul!
• I would like to find words to somehow ease your pain, but it is difficult to imagine whether such words exist on earth at all. Bright and eternal memory!
• I mourn with you in this difficult moment. It’s scary to even imagine that half of you has left. But for the sake of the children, for the sake of loved ones, we need to get through these sorrowful days. Invisibly, he will always be there - in the soul and in our eternal memory of this bright man.
• Love will not die, and the memory of it will always illuminate our hearts!
• … this too shall pass …
• For all of us, he will remain an example of love of life. And may his love for life illuminate the emptiness and grief of loss and help you survive the time of farewell. We mourn with you in difficult times and will remember ___ forever!
• The past cannot be returned, but the bright memory of this love will remain with you for the rest of your life. Be strong!
• Be strong! With the loss of your brother, you must become a support for your parents twice. May God help you get through these difficult moments! Happy memory to a bright man!
• There are such mournful words: “A loved one does not die, but simply ceases to be around.” In your memory, in your soul, your love will be eternal! We also remember ___ with a kind word.

Condolences to a believer, a Christian

All of the above is appropriate in expressing support in difficult times of loss for both the believer and the secular person. A Christian, Orthodox, can add a ritual phrase to his condolences, turn to prayer or quote from the Bible:

• God is merciful!
• God bless you!
• Everyone is alive for God!
• This man was blameless, just and God-fearing, and shunned evil!
• Lord, rest with the Saints!
• Death destroys the body, but saves the soul.
• God! Receive the spirit of your servant in peace!
• Only in death, the mournful hour, does the soul gain freedom.
• God takes a mortal through life before turning him to the light.
• The righteous will certainly live, says the Lord!
• Her heart /(his) trusted in the Lord!
• Immortal soul, immortal deeds.
• May the Lord show mercy and truth to him/her!
• Righteous deeds are not forgotten!
• Most Holy Theotokos, protect him (her) with your protection!
• The days of our lives are not numbered by us.
• Everything returns to normal.
• Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God!
• Blessed peace to your ashes!
• Kingdom of heaven and eternal peace!
• And those who have done good will find the resurrection of life.
• Rest in the Kingdom of Heaven.
• And on earth she smiled like an angel: what is there in heaven?

P.S. Once again about active personal participation. For many families, even a small financial contribution to the future will be a valuable help in this difficult moment.

Condolences regarding death are words of grief and complicity with which relatives, acquaintances and colleagues support the relatives of a deceased person. Such words are addressed orally or in writing.

Life is fleeting and sometimes ends. Even if a tragic event happened to people you barely know, the news of it comes as a shock. The deceased may have distant relative, a colleague, a housemate, with whom we occasionally exchanged phrases. Expressing condolences over the death in this case is the only correct decision. In this way you show your sympathy and help cope with the surging grief. Of course, all this works if the words of condolences were spoken from the heart and selected in accordance with life circumstances.

How to Express Condolences

How to express words of condolences regarding the death of your family and friends, friends and colleagues who have suffered a loss? It seems that the words are banal and empty. But you definitely need to express condolences - this is a long-standing tradition of expressing support for those who are in grief. We empathize, which means we are together. In moments of grief, even a few words of encouragement can help comfort those grieving and show them that we are there and ready to help. How to express condolences is not so important: the main thing is to say something from the heart, show sympathy and support those who are grieving.

Verbal condolences to the relatives of the deceased

Most often, condolences are expressed to relatives in person, in writing or by telephone. It is preferable to verbally express words of condolences, especially if you live nearby or meet at work or other public place. Other forms of condolences are used when the addressee lives far away or you need to be guided by the rules of etiquette, which require condolences in writing.

Another case of expressing verbal condolences is a speech at a funeral or during a memorial meal. Since such a ceremony is usually attended by people who knew the deceased well, it is usually not difficult to find sincere wishes.

Condolences on death in writing

Condolences for death in writing - ways of expressing:

• By letter or postcard by mail. An old, but still relevant method. Often required by etiquette. Condolence cards should be selected in accordance with the sad event; the design should not be provocative or festive.
• The inscription on the mourning ribbon. Usually it is an invariable attribute of a ritual wreath or basket of flowers. You can read more about inscriptions in our article Inscriptions on wreaths.
• By email. Most often, this option is used to express condolences about a death to people abroad.
• Obituary in the newspaper. They choose the printed publication that the relatives of the untimely deceased subscribe to or read.
• SMS notification. If you are not a mobile operator, beware of doing this. It's better to make a quick phone call. Exception: subscriber for a long time is out of reach.

Words of condolences

How to choose words of condolences for people who have suffered an irreparable loss? It often seems that all phrases are banal and can only offend the relatives of the deceased. Believe me, in moments of grief, any encouragement and manifestation of participation are very important. Relatives of the deceased experience severe stress and they themselves are not always ready to show their emotions to others. Your support and affection will help ease their pain at least for a while.

Examples of verbal condolences for death

Funeral words should not contain falsehood or pathos. You say them to support the other person in difficult times, not to express own feelings. If you really have nothing to say, limit yourself to laconic phrases. The relative position of the mourner with the deceased should also be taken into account. It will be strange for a person in grief to hear “Blessed memory of your dad. Good memories are what will help get through this loss,” if in fact he and his father did not have the best relationship.

• I am shocked by the sad news. Be strong.
• My heart is out of place from what I heard. Rest in peace __.
• I can’t believe that such a person left us. This is an irreparable loss.
• The loss of a mother (father, brother, etc.) is always difficult to experience. We sympathize and empathize.
• The deceased and I did not always find mutual language. Now I would like to apologize for the disagreement. I'm not always right either.
• Please accept our words of consolation. How can we help you at this moment?
• We sincerely sympathize with your entire family. We know how kind and sensitive N was.
• Sad event. This is hard to talk about. We hope he finds peace in heaven.
• This is a sad loss. I'm sorry that she didn't live as long as she would have liked.
• It is difficult to find the right words at such a moment. Just remember that you can always turn to me for help.

Words of condolences can also be more personalized. This is quite appropriate if you knew the deceased personally. When offering condolences over a death, one should not talk about bad things, for example, about the reprehensible actions of the deceased. Only good things should be said, focusing on what positively characterizes the deceased.

How to write a condolence

When putting mourning words in writing, the question often arises of how to write a condolence message. In this case, you should stick to laconic phrases. Poems of condolence for a death are appropriate for an obituary or mourning ribbon. In other cases, they will smack of pathos and pretentiousness. Condolences in prose usually contain 2-3 sentences. Brevity and clarity of content are more important here. After all, a postcard or letter will be reread several times.

• __ was a kind and sympathetic woman. We mourn and remember together with you.
• It is sad that the people dearest to us pass away. We offer our sincere condolences.
• With the departure of __ we have lost a lot. We will miss her smile. Please accept our words of sympathy.
• We offer your entire family our sincere condolences for your irreparable loss. May God rest his soul.
• Our deepest condolences on the unexpected death of ___. We pray and mourn.
• Everyone who knew __ is now grieving. It's unbearably sad to lose loved ones in such a time. early age. We will always remember him.
• It doesn’t matter how long a person has lived, what matters is how much good he brought into this world. May God reward him for his good deeds.
• We mourn with you for irretrievable loss. We believe that such a bright person will definitely go to Heaven.
• Only with the departure of __ we felt how great her love was. She will always live in our fond memories.
• We empathize with you. There is pain for which there is no cure. We believe that the Lord will not abandon you in such a difficult moment.

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An empathizer is a person who comes to a meeting with another person in order to be close in sorrow and joy. “Empathy for a suffering person excludes merging with him when “I am you, you are me,” warns psychologist Olga Krasnikova, author of the book “Loneliness”*. “Merger is the path to dependence.”

Here are a few guidelines to help you find the middle ground:

1. Just be there. Personal presence is sometimes much more difficult, but also more important, than “objective”, substantive help.

The ability to listen and hear can be developed. To begin with, it would be a good idea to learn to remain silent when someone speaks, without trying to interrupt him, pick him up, be sure to express/impose his opinion, comment, give his interpretation or assessment. But how difficult it can be - silently, carefully, delving into every word and intonation, to listen to what a person is trying to convey to us. By the way, sometimes the storyteller’s goal is not at all for the interlocutor to understand him - it is important for him to understand himself better. So giving a person the opportunity to speak out, to be listened to and heard often means to provide him with an invaluable service.

3. To understand means to accept the language and meanings of another. Formally we use the same language, but in reality we speak different languages. Our language is filled with personal meanings that reflect personal experience. Personal experience is a context that determines additional meanings of speech. To penetrate personal meaning, that is, to understand another, you need to make an effort and listen, learn to recognize the nuances of his speech. This requires attention and time. Sometimes understanding means helping.

You may not at all share the feelings that a person is experiencing, for example, you may not see any reason for his offense or guilt, or even believe that he is wrong in something. But it is important to recognize his right to feel now what he feels - resentment, guilt, anger, grief, without trying to convince him, without trying to reason with him, without seeking the triumph of justice, without evaluating him and what is happening to him. Having received emotional support and acceptance, a person is more likely to calm down and will be able to look at his situation with a more sober look and, perhaps, see that he was wrong. And most importantly, he will not feel lonely.

* Olga Krasnikova – consulting psychologist, head of the psychological center “Sobesednik”, author of the books “Lateness and Unfulfilled Promises” (Nikea, 2014) and “Loneliness” (Nikea, scheduled for release in October).

We all know how difficult it is to be in a situation where you need to comfort someone, and the right words is not located.

Fortunately, most often people do not expect specific advice from us. It is important for them to feel that someone understands them, that they are not alone. So first, just describe how you feel. For example, using the following phrases: “I know that it’s very difficult for you now,” “I’m sorry that it’s so difficult for you.” This way you will make it clear that you really see what it’s like for your loved one right now.

2. Confirm that you understand these feelings.

But be careful, don’t draw all the attention to yourself, don’t try to prove that it was even worse for you. Briefly mention that you have been in a similar position before, and ask more about the condition of the person you are comforting.

3. Help your loved one understand the problem

Even if a person is looking for ways to resolve a difficult situation, first he just needs to talk it out. This especially applies to women.

So wait to offer solutions to the problem and listen. This will help the person you are comforting understand their feelings. After all, sometimes it is easier to understand your own experiences by telling others about them. By answering your questions, the interlocutor can find some solutions himself, understand that everything is not as bad as it seems, and simply feel relieved.

Here are some phrases and questions that can be used in this case:

• Tell me what happened.
• Tell me what's bothering you.
• What led to this?
• Help me understand how you feel.
• What scares you the most?

At the same time, try to avoid questions with the word “why”; they are too similar to judgment and will only anger the interlocutor.

4. Do not minimize the suffering of your interlocutor and do not try to make him laugh.

When we encounter the tears of a loved one, we, quite naturally, want to cheer him up or convince him that his problems are not so terrible. But what seems trivial to us can often upset others. So don't minimize another person's suffering.

What if someone is really worried about a trifle? Ask if there is any information that conflicts with his view of the situation. Then offer your opinion and share an alternative way out. It is very important here to clarify whether they want to hear your opinion, otherwise it may seem too aggressive.

5. Offer physical support if appropriate.

Sometimes people don’t want to talk at all, they just need to feel that there is a loved one nearby. In such cases, it is not always easy to decide how to behave.

Your actions should correspond to your usual behavior with a particular person. If you are not too close, putting your hand on your shoulder or giving him a light hug will suffice. Also look at the behavior of the other person, perhaps he himself will make it clear what he needs.

Remember that you should not be too zealous when you console: your partner may take it for flirting and be offended.

6. Suggest ways to solve the problem

If a person only needs your support and not specific advice, the above steps may be sufficient. By sharing your experiences, your interlocutor will feel relieved.

Ask if there is anything else you can do. If the conversation takes place in the evening, and most often this happens, suggest going to bed. As you know, the morning is wiser than the evening.

If your advice is needed, ask first if the interlocutor himself has any ideas. Decisions are made more readily when they come from someone who is themselves in a controversial situation. If the person you are comforting is unclear about what can be done in their situation, help develop specific steps. If he doesn’t know what to do at all, offer your options.

If a person is sad not because of a specific event, but because he has a problem, immediately move on to discussing specific actions that can help. Or suggest doing something, like going for a walk together. Unnecessary thinking will not only not help get rid of depression, but, on the contrary, will aggravate it.

7. Promise to continue to support

At the end of the conversation, be sure to mention again that you understand how difficult it is for your loved one right now, and that you are ready to continue to support him in everything.